during sex, my husband says things about me being with other men. of couse this hasn't happened, but it seems like he likes it and turns him on. could he be wanting to be with other women and just is trying to get me to do it first? or is this one of his ways of getting excited.......any thoughts? when he talks about it, he puts in details. almost to wierd for me.
2007-11-21 07:40:47 · 25 answers · asked by flavours_of_entanglement 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm pretty sure he does NOT want to be with other women.
Some say its a feeling of sexual inferiority and that the man enjoys humiliation...if its a fantasy go with it (unless it upsets you) but NEVER actually do it.
It can be fun...I would talk openly with him about it:
Here is a response I gave to a man who asked a similar question a few days ago:
There is a word for this, which I won't say here. When you read about this,you should realize that it is 100% fantasy and that it never is healthy. I think your wife would be terribly hurt if you told her.
Try some other games where she humiliates you for being under-endowed and doesn't bring others into it.
For example, maybe she can give you a nickname of "tiny" or when you are in the middle of having intercourse she might say "when are you going to put it in?" If she doesn't mind this type of play, she may even have you apologize for being so small in "that department" and perhaps have you take on some usually woman oriented tasks around the house (like doing the laundry, the dishes, etc.)
2007-11-21 07:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Tim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men (including myself) have fantasies of seeing their wife with other men. Men by nature will still fantasize about being with other women and if we wanted to do that we wouldn't be trying to get you to do something first. Chances are that he may share this fantasy and likes the thought of it. He may want to introduce another man to the bedroom for a threesome, or he may just want to watch. What you need to do is to just ask him about it. Ask him why he says those things and whether or not he does fantasize about it. When you talk to him do so more inquisitively and not accusatory. Make it a "safe" and non-judgemental conversation. His fantasies could be for you two to become full blown swingers but those are things that you two will have to discuss at length before you act on it.
2007-11-21 07:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by No one 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men like to fantasize about another man pleasing his wife. He probably has fantasies about being with other women but I don't think that is why he is bringing this up in the bedroom. I would not worry about it just play along with him and have fun. If he suggest that you be with another man outside of sex then make it known that there is no way.
2007-11-21 07:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him know it makes you a little uncomfortable and ask him if he actually WANTS you to have sex with another man or if this is just some fantasy. If you're responding to his unique dirty talk, then STOP. Men take your clues from those moans and body language while in bed. So, if you're responding positively to it but inside aren't actually comfortable with it, then you need to stop with the positive reinforcement. To me, it sounds like the thought of you being with another man really excites him. I don't think it has anything to do w/ him wanting to be with another woman.
2007-11-21 07:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just a fantasy....it is hot to think about but one of those things that he really could never do....my husband does the same thing....we do different talking things...and it is alright with me. I did dream the other night that my husband was making out with Chris Daughtery after one of the nights you are talking about....believe it or not, I liked it...i didn't even know i thought daughtery was cute...guess I do. That also was a fantasy...i wouldn't want him to actually do that.
2007-11-21 07:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that he craves other women. But you should try bringing that up in fantasy so that you can see how he reacts to it. I think if he WANTED other women or wanted you to be with other men, he would probably bring it up point blank. Fantasies are just that--fantasies. He might think that it's what he wants, but realizes that it's nothing that he wants to happen in real life. Maybe it turns him on like crazy, but that doesn't mean that he necessarily wants it to happen.
2007-11-21 08:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been married for a long time, and he has been faithful to you, then a little fantasy cant hurt. . Why don't you talk to him and ask him if joining him would turn him on. You might reap the rewards of a faithful spouse, and a resparked love life. Besides that, he will then owe you a fantasy :)
2007-11-21 07:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by JJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honey, it the heat of the moment things are said. He probably was trying to reinact a fantasy he has that he would like to help him fulfill. You should ask him about it, hey you don't know...maybe you will enjoy it. It's worth finding out what exactly he meant by it.
2007-11-21 07:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by PLEASURE pUPPY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It excites him. While not having sex ask him about it, but be calm. You might try responding to him in kind when he starts with his dirty talk give him some dirty talk of your own. You just might like it!
2007-11-21 10:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somewhere in him he wants to watch you get effed. I have to admit that I had the same fantasy and my wife had the same thought as you did, then one day we were talking and we decided to try it. We both enjoy it (but now we include both women and men).
2007-11-21 07:47:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋