Confront him? Follow him? Ask questions? What's the best way?

Question

I think he is cheating on me. I overheard him on the phone last night giving a woman directions to our house and something about 8pm tonight. I'm at my moms with our girls helping her get ready for thanksgiving... So should I just let it slide and until I'm 100% sure confront him about it? Or should i "follow" him tonight (he hasnt mentioned going out yet- but im sure after work he'll say something and say hes going with the guys from work) Do i flat out lie and say, "oh my mom said she'd watch the kids- i thought we could go out" and then see what he says? When he asks if i care if he goes out do i bring up last night like, "so why were you telling that girl our address?" I'm not really sure he is even cheating- just suspecting it ... or that something is going on that he's not being honest about. Any suggestions?

i know its a girl/woman because i answered the call waiting. I know it wasn't someone from work and by the way he went into the other room and was talking (he wasnt talking really.. just answer questions with yes, no, sure, sounds good" answers)

we're saving up for a house- so right now we live with my grandparents- so I KNOW he is not bringing her over to the house to come inside or anything- most likely it's just to pick him up - and also because of where we live i know it's a not a surprise of "new drapes" or furniture for christmas! I want to know right away- because if something is going on i'd rather end it now- than find out he's been cheating for a year and then do it.

Also i didnt feel a need to grill him about who called when he got off the phone. I want to trust him. I want to trust that it wasn't anything. I feel he deserves the respect to not be grilled about every person who calls etc etc.. but something inside me is nagging saying it was out of the oridnary for him/us... so i'm really wondering what's going on. Also- i have a rule Once is a mistake- twice is a habit. And once the twice hits- YOUR GONE. he knows this- because when we first started dating he was seeing someone else and didn't tell me or her that he started seeing the other. So he's already had his "once is a mistake" a few years ago.

Answer 1

Wow are you insecure? maybe he's having flowers delivered -how do you know its a girl and why dont you just confront him about what you heard and ask him whats up?The other stuff is just wrong

Answer 2

All you can do is trust him. If he tells you he isn't cheating then just trust him. Even if it is a lie. If you constantly wonder about this and go looking for it then you will find it. I say that because if you badger him about it then eventually he will go ahead and do it thinking, "Well if I am constantly getting blamed and accused of it I might as well have the pleasure of it as well." If you want to check up on the house tonight that is your call, but what if it is somebody bringing something over to the house that he had bought you for Christmas? You never know and if you confront him you will look like a fool. Good luck.

Answer 3

Do you KNOW he was talking to a woman or are you just assuming that?

I have always been a strong believer in trust! If you don't trust him to be faithful to you, you have a big problem! You will be chasing him around for the rest of your lives together, always wondering what or who he is doing! Is that how you want to live your life?? You really need to think about that!

So, what happens if you find out for sure he is cheating? Do you leave? Do you stay because of the kids? What is next for you?

Work on the trust issues! If you have a good reason not to trust him, then you need to decide if you really want to be with him! Don't resort to following him around and making yourself crazy!

Answer 4

Follow him. I am not kidding, this is the only way you are going to stop this quickly....hopefully they have done nothing yet and this will be the first time and you will have caught on before they get into more. I am really sorry that you have this going on over the holidays....that must feel really bad...Just make sure it isn't a woman comming over to make drapes for your house as a Christmas gift or something...however it sounds like you need to go there.

I think what Keeping It Real said makes no since....confront it...

Answer 5

I'd spy on him at the house tonight, but no matter what the outcome is don't confront him then. Just have the knowledge of what he is doing and then think over long and hard what you want to do. Either stay together and talk about it, or stay together and give him a taste of his own medicine (Have an affair of your own) or leave him. Asking him about it won't accomplish anything except make him want to be with the other woman even more while he just denies it to you.

Answer 6

Well...if you already think he's cheating, any answer he gives you, most likely, will be a lie to you anyhow (in your own mind.)

Follow him, but not in your own car. You are already saying he's not being honest, so you can't try to talk to him about it. You are a show me person, so, track down your answer. What's the worst that can happen? You follow him to noplace, and he's meeting nobody....But, if your suspicions are correct, then you're not crazy or paranoid, just heartbroken when you see them together. If you don't use this opportunity to check it out, you won't get another chance, its the perfect time. Besides, what's going to happen that makes you 100% sure? Find out sooner rather than later, that's my motto.

Last suggestion-don't play games like lying or asking questions about it. Just follow him and be done with it.

Answer 7

the youngster could be in charge, yet while he's below a undeniable age he can not legally paintings so he can not legally be in charge monitarily. i think of the mum and dad could be held in charge in that kind of subject. i've got faith suspension is so as. i do no longer trust the way suspension is complete in public college, although. i've got faith the student could the two settle for homework 10 fold or he could get carry of a 0 grade for all of the paintings the different scholars do interior the time he's suspended. and it additionally must mirror on his document card. if he's conscious of he stole something that she desires to have the skill to establish he has some extreme complications. complications that maximum probably stem from his kinfolk existence. i think of the police could become in touch and the youngster ought to do extra desirable in a detention middle (detention center for toddlers). reliable for you for being extra of a woman than i could have been in that subject. i might have long gone loopy on the lads mama and daddy in front of him (because i could no longer placed my hands on the boy).

Answer 8

If it's possible to follow him, I would do that. I sort of like your idea about telling him that your mom can babysit and that the two of you can go out--to see how he reacts to that. However, that way you won't know for sure because he could come up with an excuse to tell the possible "other woman" and then tell you yes, you can go out together. I would follow him only if it's possible to do so.

Answer 9

If you really have to know, don't say anything. if you think he's meeting someone at your home, leave before he does and find a place to park, watch and see if he pulls in. If he's alone, wait and watch for another car to come in.
But you're going to have to be prepared in the event that someone shows up.
What are you going to do? Are you going to pull in if they are both in the house? Make sure you can handle it what ever you choose to do.
Good luck, I hope this turns out just to be an over reaction to nothing.

Answer 10

I would confront him about it. Stalking him and following him isn't going to do anything but make him mad, especially if you are wrong in your suspisions. Relationships are about trust... If he is doing something special like having flowers delivered or something, and you stalk him and stuff he's going to know you don't trust him. If you just say that you heard him talking to a female on the phone and you heard him give her directions, it still sounds a little untrusting, but at least you are asking him about it instead of sneaking around.

Answer 11

Hide where he can't see you and see what shows up, don't drive your car borrow someones he doesn't know. If they leave follow them and after they go in somewhere walk in and walk over and say, "HI do you mind if I sit with you , after all this is my husband, then say , "What the hell is going on anyway, you sorry bast***. Walk out the next day leave go to the nearest Divorce Lawyer and file for everything , even him to pay your Atty. Get a camera if they don't leave the lights on go out wait about 20 minutes ease your door open at your home and listen to what room they are in , jump in that room turn on the lights take a picture, you win in divorce court..