Teacher won't accept anonymous letter regarding other student's discrimination?

Question

Two days ago I sent my biology teacher an anonymous letter, putting it into her "to be graded" box. Today during class, she said that she had two things to say that may not pertain to everyone. The first was that some people did badly on a test (nothing to do with my issue, of course). The other, was, though, that she had received a letter and she refused to accept it. She wanted the student to come to her if they expected any action on her part. (She even seemed a little angry when she said this.) Let me tell you a little about my situation though...

In my class, there is one boy who is constantly nagging me about how disgusting gays are, and how they have mental problems and so forth. I am gay, which he doesn't know.

I really did not want to go to the teacher directly or write her a letter signed with my name. I was embarrassed and afraid she wouldn't look at me the same way. Is it her responsibility to act? Should I email her now and sign my name (she said that's ok)? Thanks!

My parents know I'm gay. But they don't know I'm doing this. They really don't think I'm, well, this "involved". But they really could care less that I am gay.

This is an honors class, by the way. I don't know why she would think something of this matter would be a joke.

And I did mention the student's name in the note.

Answer 1

I'm in twelvth grade in the South and president of my schoo;
s Gay Straight Alliance.

I just want to say that so that you know that I know where you are coming from.

Your teacher should want to protect her students- whether they confide their names or not. Your teacher doesn't sound like an ally.

Going to your principal may be a good idea, if the pricipal is supportive, but I have another suggestion. Go to a supportive teacher or other staff member. They know a little bit about the individual predjudices of their fellows. A supportive teacher could approach your teacher in a non-challenging manner, as a colleague, and plead your case, keeping your annonimity intact.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

#1 ... if this guy doesn't know you are gay, then obviously what he's saying is not directed at you. He is speaking in generalities.

#2 ... I assume this is some sort of high school situation you are talking about. That makes both you and this guy not adults. So it boils down to two kids calling each other names, not a serious situation..

#3 ... From the teacher's point of view, student-A makes a claim against student-B, but refuses to identify themself. A real life serious situtation would be some girl claims a guy rapes her but gives no evidence and the media refuses to identify her. Sound familiar? Just one person's word against another, all the damage would be put on the person being accuse, while the person making the charge risks nothing.

What action is the teach supposed to take if you don't identify yourself? Obviously you feel strongly about this event, but I find it cowardly that you only go so far and refuse to go the rest of the way.

Answer 3

She wants and pretty much needs to confirm that the letter and complaint isn't a hoax in order to act on it. You don't have to tell her you are gay when registering the complaint. If you found the guy's remarks to be offensive then that in itself is reason enough for him to be spoken to by someone in authority at the school such as the teacher.

Edit: Your remark about it being honor's class doesn't make sense, which you would realize if you actually thought about it. If everyone there is supposed to be beyond doing certain "petty" things such as writing a letter as a hoax, then why would anyone be doing anything equally as "petty" as making derogatory remarks about people? You know that people will do certain things despite their "noble" standing otherwise, and so does she.

If his remarks are offensive on their own, then you can make a complaint about that to your teacher without having to tell her about you being gay. Since he didn't know you were gay when he made them, then his remarks weren't directed at you personally, so you have no complaint about him saying offensive things about you. But you do have a complaint about him saying offensive things, which is valid in itself. So there is no good reason to try to be anonymous about your complaint.

You attempting to be anonymous about it places the complaint realistically into the realm of it being a hoax, then. For her to act on it as though it were true isn't wise, also. How would you feel if someone anonymously accused you of doing something and the accusation wasn't true? You'd wonder how the teacher could take the word of someone who would hide behind anonymity. And since the teacher doesn't know if the guy is making these remarks, then she also doesn't know if she'd be falsely accusing him. So she needs to hear it from a real person so there is some measure of accountability on their part.

Answer 4

You're afraid that she may out you either intentionallyor unintentionally, since she did not handle the anonymous letter deal appropriately.
I don't think you want to approach this woman with this type of information. She does not sound suited to deal with it properly and may not respect your privacy.
Find another way to deal with this or just keep quiet about it.


ts_fland, your logic is the kind of logic that columbines are made from. Since it's a high school issue it can't possibly be a real issue so let's just ignore it. As a teacher in 2007 she has more of responsibility than that.

Answer 5

Yes,it is her responsibility.As a teacher,she is supposed to act if any one or group of students inflicts injury or personal insult towards another student/group of students. I am surprised that she didn't make an attempt to discover who was the student that the note was referring to.If you did mention the student's name,then I am even more surprised that she didn't act or investigate the claim.Try to talk to her, whether in letter,e-mail,or verbal conversation. If she does nothing, go above her to the principal and continue to go higher up in the status change until something is done. If you fear that your teacher will see you differently,don't fret. If you feel that she treats you in a different way simply because of you sexual preference,discuss it with you guidance officer or the principle.Maybe you can get into a different class if necessary.

Answer 6

Be happy your teacher didn't make a fool out of you in front of the entire class.
When I was in college, I wrote a paper in my Psychology class on what it was like to be discriminated against for being gay.
My teacher read my paper aloud in class, said it was written by me, then spent the next two hours degrading homosexuals, he had a list of negative things about us that he found on the computer, he said we all have AIDS, we're all going to hell, most of us won't live past age 40, that we deserved to be gay bashed, etc., etc.
I felt so alone, I felt like killing myself. This was at a time when I had just "come out", my family wasn't supporting me, I had lost most of my friends, I had no one.
I never told anyone about this until now.

Answer 7

Imagine what a mess schools would be if teachers accepted anonymous complaint letters and acted on them - they probably wouldn't have any time left to teach! Sorry, if you want anything done, you're going to have to talk to her in person.

Obviously this boy is WAY out of line with his comments, that's not the question.

Good luck.

Answer 8

If you feel it is safe enough then yes bring it to your teachers attention. Due to the "normalization" in our vocabulary to use homophobic comments in every day language your teacher may not be aware of how bad the comments really are. If you tell your teacher and still nothing happens and you feel comfortable enough you and your parents should bring it up to the principle. Always keep in mind though your safety and any repercussions because yes this world is full of idiotic people.

Answer 9

write to your school principal and unsigned letter and explain your teacher's response.
Tell them that as a student with a problem.....you really need to remain unknown for fear of retaliation. What if you knew of a bomb, or a gun, or a knife. would they ignore that one if your letter wasn't signed. It means they have no regard for your personal feelings.

Be careful how you word that one or they will think you are making a bomb threat and you will end up in jail.

Answer 10

Yes, defintely go to her. If you want your orientation to be kept confidential, just tell her so and I'm sure she will keep it in the strictest confidence.

If you want to say something to the boy directly, maybe just say your cousin or something is gay and he should watch what he says. People get thrown out of school these days for "hate speech" against gays.