beaten into life
Bring to me the endless night,
Celebrate with my suffering.
Here's to both my blackened eyes,
Bring to me one thousand years of night.
The worst has yet to come to all,
Careless as humans are.
We brought this all upon ourselves,
All shall be engulfed, in pure purple hatred,
Hopeless, yes our lives shall be.
The fear weighs on our shoulders,
Regrets that will last forever.
Bring these to my haunted dreams,
Slowly, as I am beaten into life.
Only one damned thing is certain,
The living shall wish for their own death.
We are worse than nothing,
Careless as we shall always be,
The end of life, the curse.
2007-11-21 06:51:01 · 13 answers · asked by The Dark Prince 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Sounds like someone used to beat the hell out of ya...been there when i was a kid....you really put your emotions on paper and made me feel it...great work!!!!
2007-11-21 06:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by iluvmyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm.... definitely dark. I'm slightly worried about the message that you're trying to convey, because it might be implying that you are being abused...and that is not what's up. However, on the poetic tip, I like the slighted repetiveness....and I like the poem overall. I wouldn't suggest any changes. The abstract images the all give off one message is definitely effective.
2007-11-21 15:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by Cathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem speaks of so much sadness and pain.I wished i could bring you some happiness to share with you...The fear does weigh on our shoulders; and regrets do last forever..but ..all we can do now is try to get up;shake it off and try it again... I;m no psychic but i see some happiness coming down waiting for you,.,
2007-11-21 15:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really enjoyed this, especially the line "the living shall wish for their own death". More foreboding than optimistic, I feel, but very atmospheric. And a beautiful rhythm.
Keep writing!
2007-11-21 15:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have to answer.I appreciate the way you have fluently wrote this text like a great Poet.It's good.
No answer is needed.The answer is there in the text.
Thank you so much for writing such a good stuff.I liked every word of it.
2007-11-21 14:59:52 · answer #5 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm the damnation of the human race and life itself... so beautifully portrayed too!! It is an excelent poem about a topic that few write about!! Great job!
2007-11-21 15:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by dragonflyy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god what are you living with, don't you know if you don't respect yourself then no one will . What is this curse you speak about ? Is your life so hard you want to end it and WHY . If someone is hurting you there is help out there. Why do you suffer in silence if you speak out to someone you trust to hear you help is there. please be safe take care
2007-11-21 15:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by ned n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
'beaten into life' - I love the way you put it. Life is suffering, after all, and we are not even born with our conscious choice...
2007-11-21 15:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was really good..i like depressing poems because basically all the poems i write are sad..thanks for sharing.
2007-11-21 17:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by Blah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy! This is an intense one ... It has effected my mood.
2007-11-21 15:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋