I am 30, have no kids, and am not married (I have a bf). I have always had this nervousness about having a child. I'm not nervous so much about the labor and everything that happens during labor but am worried (and have always been) about what guys think when they're watching this happen?
My aunts husband freaked out after the birth. He is a surgical asst. so you'd think he'd be okay with all of it but they RARELY had sex after she had their son because he was "grossed out" by the delivery. I can't help but wonder how many guys get really grossed out and maybe see their wives differently after seieng her give birth. I know that some fall more in love but some feel less attracted...
what has your experience as married people (with kids) been?
2007-11-21 06:00:12 · 25 answers · asked by laura1977 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when i watched my x-wife give birth i didnt freak out, didnt throw up and didnt stop wanting her...i stood in amazement of this woman, that was willing and actually going through the pain and the discomfort and the nausea that came along with all of this, she gave birth to a beautifull baby girl that is now 20 years old and in college....i was in the delivery room as well when my grandson was born, my daughter never made a sound never said i cant do this or i cant push anymore, the only way i could tell that this poor baby was hurting was the tears running down her face.....i have never stood in awe of anything in my life until these two ladies had children...yea maybe itws gross to some men...but as a man i say....men ur wife, gf, partner is going through a pain that you nor i could handle, and she is bringing a miracle into this world of hate and discontent...she needs you now more then ever.....get over it........
2007-11-22 20:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by medic327little 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
II've seen the birthing process many times and can tell you this: It's not pretty.
Some men may feel like it is a beautiful thing, which I happen to think... but most men don't think it's attractive. As we're peering down watching our child come into this world we think all about the times we'll share and the moments to come where we'll be able to finally hold our baby for the first time - not "Oh my god that's so nasty, oh my god I'm going to throw up!"
Some men do, however, think about throwing up and how nasty it is. It's just nature. We can't help it. It's gross and beautiful at the same time.
I can assure you... we don't think differently after seeing our wives give birth. It's a scary concept... something so big coming out of something so small... but it doesn't change the way we feel about our wives.
2007-11-21 14:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by Michael T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have three kids. We were b/f g/f for the first and hubby / wife for the 2nd and 3rd. My hubby was in there with all three of them. He was very supportive of the whole process and did not get grossed out or anything. He has a lot more respect and love for me now after having 3 kids. It's such a bonding experience. I would hope to think that most men are like mine and react that way. My hubby still wants sex all the time, nothing really changed.
2007-11-21 15:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a little counseling could really enrich your aunt and uncles lives. Being that turned off by child birth is not a normal thing.
Yes seeing a baby being born is kind of gross, but giving birth is painful, and look at all the second and third children women give birth to. These are things in life that most people get over because of the rewards they have gained
2007-11-21 14:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by crazy_kizmet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 1st husband was - ""grossed out" by the delivery. I can't help but wonder how many guys get really grossed out and maybe see their wives differently after seieng her give birth. I know that some fall more in love but some feel less attracted..."
My 2nd - hard to say....he treated me differently and not in a really *good* way - he wouldn't really talk about it other than "that looked like it HURT!"
The only thing to do - don't have him in the room - that's a pretty simple solution! WHo says they HAVE to be in the room!?!?
2007-11-21 14:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my case, my husband gained a better appreciation for life in general. He didn't faint, although he almost did, and he's nowhere near the surgeon or hospital worker. He's a programmer in computers. Every man is different with the sight of the birthing mothers, but I think it's better for them to see it than not. Being witness at your child's birth is the most precious thing you can have. Men don't get to bond with the baby as mothers do, yet, this is instant bonding experience. There's something about a little icky guey face that starts screaming in the first minutes of life, helplessly, and asks for food, that gets even them, all hormones lacking... :) Juts be careful to give him time and opportunities to bond with his baby. It's good for the heart.
The sex drive is very strong in most men. There's something peculiar about a guy who doesn't want sex anymore. I think you don't know the whole story about their sex life. It would be rather the woman who will not want to have sex, for a while... not vice verso.
2007-11-21 14:26:58 · answer #6 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had 4 kids and dad was there everytime except the first time. I have never had a single moment when he did not jump all over me. If it grosses him out that is one thing but not to be able to enjoy sex with that person is just crazy. Sounds like he has other issues. Most men I know see it as a miracle and continue to want to get sexual with the woman who gave birth to their child.
2007-11-21 14:04:52 · answer #7 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have three kids and was in there for all three. All three of mine were C-sections and I have been in nursing school. Nothing freaked me out about it and my whole view of the vagina and women's sexuality has actually gotten stronger since then. Now, I have also been in to see a vaginal delivery as well (my youngest niece), and I actually almost had to deliver the baby myself (the doctor didn't come in until after the baby was out). Still nothing and this was well before I even had my three kids. I would say that the situation you discussed is more the exception than the rule.
2007-11-21 14:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My beautiful, wonderful wife gave birth to my daughter two years ago this December, and she's just as attractive to me today as she was before our child. I've read psychiatrist opinions that some men have a mental issue after childbirth connected with the whole "mother" thing. Somehow relating their wife to their own mother, I suppose. I can see how that might make a guys desire drop off!!! I wouldn't worry though, I expect that side affect isn't very common.
2007-11-21 14:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by NH_MCD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe with all my heart a man does not belong in the birth room.
Men just don't deal well with things like this. Plus, after seeing the body part that gives them sex, be torn apart will likely make him feel differently about sex afterward.
There is a saying that women are mysterious. It should stay that way in the birth room. Who wants him to have unecessary visuals during sex?
That's just my opinion. I am sure there are others including men, who wouldn't have missed the birth for anything.
2007-11-21 21:43:59 · answer #10 · answered by latebreakfast 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋