Should I be concerned and how do I catch him?

Question

I've somewhat suspected my boyfriend (we have 2 kids together) of cheating- but everytime i've said anything to anyone they have said, "oh you are just being paranoid" (ever man ive ever dated has cheated on me).. Last night we were at home and I was talking to my sister and a call came through on the call-waiting and I answered it and it was a female. (because it was call-waiting it didnt show up on the caller id the name or number) anyways- she asked to speak with him- he was in the living room playing with our girls. He took the phone- and after a second walked into the front hallway and was pacing around talking. I was listening to the conversation but didn't hear much- and he was talking like, "yes, ok" and "sure" he was more just giving answers... anyways.. then I hear him say something about one of the guys he works with and then he gave her directions to our house and saying what time he thought he'd be out of work. If I heard right- something about 8pm. He didn't

say anything about who had called when he got off the phone- he just mentioned that a call he had gotten yesterday saying he won a contest was a hoax/sales pitch. I think he was trying to make me think thats who he was talking to on the phone- but why he gave them directions to our house i don't know... also when she called she asked for his 'nickname' not his full name and last name...which normally companies etc will do. Tonight I'm taking the girls to my moms house and helping her do the turkey/dressing all night like I do every year. So i'm sure when he gets home from work i'll hear some story about how the guy from work wants him to go to the bar with him or whatever. If he is cheating- how can I 'catch' him? Do I just sit it out and wait? Or do I do something tonight? it's a bit hard when i'm stuck with the kids- i can't exactly follow him and I wont be home tonight if someone else does pick him to see who it is. Do you think he is? Or am I just being crazy again?

So any suggestions on how I can 'catch' him? Or confront him? or in a round-about way ask some questions so I can know for sure before i confront him?

Answer 1

it sounds as if he is cheating on u and thinks u haven't picked up on it. if u can't follow him have a friend do it, at least u will know the truth. he certainly insults your intelligence. if he went into another part of the house to talk he sounds as if he had something to hide. of course he is cheating on u. if u have to hire a sitter do it, and go to the bar where he hangs out. but u have to ask yourself if you will really be ready for what u see. u have to decide how to handle it when u do find out the truth. he is calling u paranoid so u will question yourself and he hopes it will throw u off track.

Answer 2

He's probably cheating. The phone call ,nicknames and giving one word answers makes the conversation suspicious. Taking the children with him makes you think he's up to nothing when in fact they could be his excuse. He then tells mom I'm going to the store for a moment and I'll be right back. Watch the girls for me.
He is more than likely cheating.
Trying to follow him will be difficult for you because he's going to ride by the house to see if you are home or call by phone. Have a friend you trust tale him for you.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Act as though you are helping your Mom out with the Thanksgiving dinner. Explain to your Mom that you have other things you need to take care of and ask her if she could watch the kids for awhile. Borrow someones car that your husband would not suspect. Get a bandana put in over your hair and disguise yourself. Follow him from a distance after he gets off of work and check and see what he is up to. That should give you the answer.

Answer 5

I have a feeling he's cheating too, why dont you just wait it out cause youll go crazy looking for trouble, and in due time he will get busted believe that, because whats in the dark will come to light. and what a looser if he is really talking to his mistress on the phone you both share....

Answer 6

Holiday is good to have a friend party once in awhile, but as for his co-worker, not needed unless they are good friend. Since you are cooking, he should come home.
So just ask him, does he value friendship more or family. This would make him cut back on his time with his friends.

Answer 7

You can get excellent advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com including signs to watch for, how to listen in on telephone conversations, how to keylog his email conversations, how to obtain a divorce, how to make things work out if you still want to, what to say to your children/family/friends, and how to move on. Another great site is www.cheaternews. com.

Answer 8

Well this is your woman mind workng against you.

First you subconciously WANT him to be cheating so that you can be the proper one and dump him.

This frees you up to find some other lover too.

Answer 9

well i would try not to worry about it because you have no control over him. The best thing you can do is reestablishing your indiviudality. which means make sure you are financially established, socially adjusted and do whatever makes you happy. If you mistrust him protect yourself sexually. and dont drive yourself crazy playing detective.

Answer 10

If your heart says he's cheating then hes cheating its called female intuition