Can you forgive your best friend if he talks bad about you?

Question

For some reason, my friend feels that he has to let everyone know about problems that I may be having and it’s bothering me. He takes a little event and blows it way out of proportion. I just don’t understand the fascination with some people who likes to follow you and monitor what goes on in your life every single second. I did talk to him about it, and he said he apologize for disrespecting me, and that was it. We’ve been friends since High School and he’s help me out many times and I helped him out. The only time he really makes me mad is when he talks bad things about me. Has anyone been in this difficult situation before? How did you move on and still remain friends?

Answer 1

He is not your friend.

Tell him in confidence that your family has won the lottery, but to keep it a secret even from his own family until it is made public. Act real excited, do it up right. Then when people start asking you about it just act puzzled and ask them where they ever heard such a fantastic lie.

Answer 2

Here's the thing I am not sure what you mean by move on. I am going to assume that you want him to stop so you can remain friends. Without knowing the specifics I can only make some observations. I think your friend is very loyal and looks up to you. He feels like if you are having a problem then it is his problem also. He is telling others because he is consulting with them about his new problem which in fact is only your problem. You should tell him that you only wanted him to listen to your problem and not find a solution. He doesn't mean to disrespect you it sounds like he wants to help you. When you tell him a problem you should tell him it's private and tell him if you need help or not. If he violates your privacy then that is a whole new issue to deal with. I hope that helps.

Answer 3

BEAT HIS F*CKING A**. Then he won't talk **** about you anymore. Some times, people just need to be put in their place and realize that good friends are a hard thing to come by. If you told him to stop, and he didn't, obviously he's not a good friend and you should take matters into your own hands. People stop talking **** after they get beat up and hurt, so maybe that might be your best option. Their is no moving on, this is the only way.

Answer 4

yes. well iv been through this to and the question you really need to ask urself is it really worth being freinds with this person? last year in collage, i had this freind and she was a tottal gossip girl! all she could do is talk about me or others behind their backs it was like gossip was fuel for her body! i tried so so hard to be freinds with her and to be nice but now looking back i really regret it! give ur freind a couple of chances and see if he will change but if he doesnt that means he is deffinatly NOT a good freind to hang around! it changes ur life dramaticly with these small disisions! so give him a warning one more time tell him how u feel and if he doesnt change then stop being such a close freind to him. but u can still say high to each other every now and then!

Answer 5

Yes, we've all been there OR will be there so the thing to do is QUIT TELLING HIM YOUR BUSINESS!!!!! It's been established that he's not trustworthy and it would be your own fault to tell someone secrets if you can't trust them. He should honestly become an associate because TRUE FRIENDS don't do that. Since you've known him a while you should still hang out and be cool but keep your guard up. He may ask "why don't we ever talk anymore" and ifso reply with CAUSE I CAN'T TRUST YOU!
Best of luck

Answer 6

well i have the same problem but im still freinds with the person. im just not as trusting of them anymore. you might end up just slowly parting with your freind but he might also screw up big all at once so be careful of what you say and how you say it around this guy. if he still does it even tho you talked to him bout it then he isnt a good best friend for you and maybe you should think about just keeping him at an arms length. but i dont know the whole story so i cant help you out that much. just make sure you have at least one person to vent to other than him.

hope i helped you a little and hope you work it out between you and your buddy.

Answer 7

I have been here before and its a case of letting him know how it is, You may have already said this but tell him that these things he is saying are private and are not for discussion. Make it clear to him that if he persists you have no option but to distance the close friendship for a while.

Its not fair when friends say things behind your back, and he needs to be out straight, when he sees you are being really serious it may kick him into touch.

Answer 8

People change, if he is talking bad he is not a best friend, friends dont feel the need to drag one another down, you do not need to involve people in your life that drag you through the mud, grow a backbone, love yourself and find friends that dont need to make themselves feel better at your expence. it doesn't mean you never talk to this person again, but you need to not have them be the focus of your life, maybe go out once a week or two, and dont talk everyday.

Answer 9

We cannot expect that other will change for us. It is better to accept him as a friend who has a bad habit here it is, instead of smoking,drinking or immorility, backbiting. We do not become angry to a friend because he smokes, drinks or womenises/menises do we? I think no. In this world nobody is perfect. so just concentrate on his/her good qualities and forget and forgive his negative tendencies because if someone asks him about you he also might say some thing about you like this. then what should he do? should he leave your friendship?

Answer 10

This was happening to me to. Even though I use to tell my friend everything I had to start limiting the things I said to her. I think some people just can't help but gossip. They probally feel bad later but they really dont think at the time that they could be hurting someone...