I have been in a relationship for about 1 yr and 3 months. In the beginning it was great. Now it seems he has lost all interest in sex, but I find Porn sites fill up my internet history page. I don't have a problem with him viewing porn, I read erotic stories from time to time, but the problem is that he is no longer interested in having sex with me (happens maybe 2-4 times a month at most). How do I make him interested in sex with me as opposed to a website and himself??Well I have asked him if there is something he would like to try and he says "no I love sex with you like it is" but then he always gives me the "I don't feel well, I have to get up early, blah blah blah" I don't know, he doesn't really have time to be messing with someone else, he calls me 15 times a day from work and comes straight home... so I don't think he is cheating or anything...
2007-11-21 04:53:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
As relationships progress people become more comfortable with one and other. There are certainly upsides to this, and downsides to this. Where perhaps you would once see each other two or three times a week, maybe now it’s five, six, or seven. As this happens, there is less urgency to make the night “special”, you start dealing with the reality of each other’s day-to-day lives (work, bills, snoring, etc), and forming patterns (work, home, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed). If this is the case, I think there are a couple of things you can do. First off, pressure never helps. With that in mind you can still tell him what you want to do to him, or tell him what you want him to do to you. One thing about porn is that women tend to be aggressive, that makes a man feel wanted and it’s sexy to not have to be the one in control. Wanted is different than nagged. So, whisper it in his ear in your sexiest tone of voice, maybe while you’re doing something routine, maybe when he calls you 15 times a day, then take him home and do it or have it done. The other is to realize that a healthy sex life doesn’t require every encounter to be a 2 hour, candle-lit scene from a romantic movie. Embrace the quickie, and realize not every encounter needs to be two-sided. Sometimes you do something nice for him, and sometimes he does something nice for you. Sometimes it is like a 2 hour, candle-lit scene from a romantic movie, sometimes he does have to get up early for work. Maybe there are things he wants to try. Maybe he’s uncomfortable telling you. Sometimes the best conversation is to share things you fantasize about or you want to try. It’s hard to be the one who goes first. While you should never do anything you’re not comfortable with it can be comforting to a man to know that women have wants, needs, fantasies. If you read erotic stories, get him to read them to you. Tell him the parts you like most. That would be an ice breaker. One thing to keep in mind is that relationships have highs and lows: sometimes Tuesday is better then Monday, sometimes this week is better then last, sometimes December is better than November. Sometimes you have to go through the rough patch to appreciate the good times. After 5 years in a relationship I can say one month we have sex 50 times and another 3 or 4. When work is rough, or he has family issues, or life has him down, the path of least resistance is to fire up the internet and take care of business on your own. In that case it’s safe and comforting, and doesn’t really reflect in any way on you or the relationship. But in end, if you needs aren’t being met then really only you can decide how long to put up with it.
2007-11-21 06:30:43 · answer #1 · answered by M B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Install a "parental controls" filter on your computer, and let a friend set the password so neither you nor your boyfriend can find it. Tell the friend to type in some random letters or numbers so the friend doesn't remember them either. You need to have your computer permanently rid of this garbage.
He is clearly addicted to porn, and if he can't get through an evening without it, he needs professional help. And you need to walk if he can't stop doing what he's doing. You deserve better than this!
By the way, erotica and porn are two different things. Much great literature (think Chaucer) and art is erotic. But porn exists only to degrade women and sexually arouse men. No artistic merit, no imagination, no nuthin' above the belt.
2007-11-21 06:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by Maple 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cut Off The Internet
OR
Block The Porn Sites
See Results Instantly
2007-11-21 11:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is the problem when some guys view porn, I say"some" because it can work but only if both the guy and the girl want to look at it. To keep it private and to view it himself is going to be bad for the relationship in the long term. As I said in another answer a few minutes ago, the more a guy views porn the more hardcore it will become and this might make him want the really hardcore stuff and become dissatisfied with the real thing.
You need to talk to him about it, he might not realise his problem.
To go off it so quickly is not fair to you and needs discussion.
2007-11-21 05:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by ed 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make him want to have more sex with you by not asking for it. I know it sounds so stupid, but seriously, guys are backwards about all this stuff. The easier it is for him to have sex with you, the less he's going to want it. The harder it is, the more he'll want it. Also, as a sidenote, you may want to walk around in your sexy nightwear around him, but don't even talk about romance. Make it seem like you just want to be comfortable and have a "boring" conversation about work and trivial stuff. Then, ignore him (but in a nice way of course). In the end, what it is..is that men need space and a woman that gives her man this space but at the same time is not so obvious about it (meaning you don't say "i'm giving you your space", but you "pretend" to ignore the guy) will make the guy go crazy over her and keep his interest on her the whole time. It's the challenge..
2007-11-21 05:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sicilianguy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
try and catch him when he is on those internet sites, don't scold or yell at him, just come on to him (you know he wants it)
molest him a bit while hes online and he'll get the picture,...you may even want to try a few things he sees on those sites.
2007-11-21 06:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by parkermbg 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
only good erection can increase your penis size and with good erection you can make your sexual life happy.my chinese boy friends told me that in china peoples eat bull,s penis for good erection , stamina,and sexual health . i suggest you start eating from to day i am sure only in few days you will find good result. it is very easy avilable, low price , easy cooking and rich in taste.
2007-11-21 06:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by bigtali 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get rid of the TV, get rid of internet for a month and watch the results....
2007-11-21 04:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by George D 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this is CLASSIC pornography/sex addiction.
call him on it. get to couples counseling and for you
COSA
http://www.cosa-recovery.org/
check out
http://coloradoservicegroup.org/
best of luck
hypnotherapy-psychotherapy dot com
2007-11-21 07:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by c_and_w_services 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
men like variety and get bored with the same person... stop pestering him or act like you don't want sex and he will be all over you.
2007-11-21 04:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋