Husbands have pressure? Are you kidding me?

Question

Do a quick y!search on "expectations of a husband" and you'll find such phrases like "shouldn't expect" and "I expect too much"

Do a quick y!search on "expectations of a wife" and you'll find such phrases like "learn what a GOOD wife does" and "perfection to his expectations"

What gives...husbands...pressure...come on now, you're joking right? Being a husband has got to be the simplist thing on the planet, not even an infant has it so good! (even single men have it harder!).

Walt: just like a man to blame their wife for their SHORT commings and inadequate involvment in marriage. very mature of you.

Answer 1

its true. men are the weaker sex when it comes to everything but strength. they have to do nothing for themselves at home and most wont lift a finger. i have the most giving (heart and gifts)husband. but when it comes to anything in the house he has the thought of he pays for everything (but food) and i have kids so why should he help. i was working two jobs and inbetween when he had 3 days off ,i was doing clothes,dishes ,and taking trash out of the container. he takes it outside but it can flow over and doesnt see it as his job to do. men are BIG BABIES. to bad their mothers didnt teach them to help a women in the house too.

Answer 2

I guess i have it pretty good, my husband gets our 8 year old ready for school as well as drops her at school and picks her up from school, he does laundry, he takes care of our 11 month old daughter cause he gets out of work earlier than me, he takes the kids to doctors appointments, he cooks and cleans, he has always been this way, i think im pretty lucky. I guess when you are married and both work things should be equally divided, when i wasn't working he helped but i wouldnt let him help with a lot since i wasn't working, but as soon as i started working he just started helping more. Im very lucky, he is an excellent father and husband.

Answer 3

Let me tell you, I don't know what planet you live on but both sexes have it hard. My wife has it hard as a stay at home mom. She is on 24 hours a day, but so am I. As soon as I come home from my paying job, Dad kicks in. I have to take over the household. Take care of the kids, help in the kitchen, clean up the house, fix anything that is in need of it, take care of the yard work, be there for my wife. Let me tell you in my world my wife has it pretty darn good. She gets to go out and do what she wants when she wants to. I stay home and take care of things while she shops, goes out with her friends, or does whatever to get a break. I get up with the kids on the weekend so she can sleep in. I NEVER get to sleep in. I am up at 5 am during the week and by 6:30 on the weekends. I listen to my wife when she needs someone to talk to. I don't even get sex from her when I want it. She gets it whenever she wants it...which is rare I might add. Yes, her day is difficult and hectic. Yes, the kids and the house are a lot to take care of, but I do it too. I am not saying one side has it better. Being a husband is not simple as you put it. Perhaps yours is lazy and not helpful, but don't dare lump the rest of us in with a bum!

Answer 4

You will never have a happy husband with that attitude.

I dunno - my husband takes care of the yard (BIG JOB), does the dishes sometimes, laundry sometimes, most of the cooking, maintains the cars, works 50 hours a week bringing home good money at a VERY demanding job, polices the kids, drives 500 miles every time we need to go somewhere while I am sleeping and warm and snuggling, maintains the budget, fixes every little dumb thing and clogged toilet in the house, search-and-destroy and bug that I find....and gets up in the middle of the night to go search for the intruder that I am SURE is in the house (even though after 4,000 similar noises in the night, it's always the cat).

He also calms me down. Makes me feel loved, safe, and secure. He is my solid foundation and rock that I am anchored to. That's really not easy to do at all.

I am not even going to get into the sex aspect of it. But I am pretty demanding.

Does this really sound so easy?

The biggest pressure of all is that people hold men responsible for EVERYTHING except maybe children. If the house is falling apart, or money is tight, or the marriage is falling apart, EVERYONE blames the man. He is expected to always make it work. That is a LOT of pressure. Believe me. Women's lib or not, people still expect men to do the heavy lifting (literally and figuratively) when it really comes down to it.

EDIT insulting another answerer by referring to SHORTcomings is much more immature of you than he was with his answer.

Nobody makes anyone cheat - but a man who marries you will never be able to make you happy and he will want to find a woman who makes him feel like he is worth something. Whether or not he actually goes looking for it is another matter.

EDIT I wish your Q & A weren't private so I could see how you felt on other topics. Mine are private too but are due to a stalker.

EDIT again oh yeah and there ARE husbands who are worthless. There are wives who are worthless too.

Answer 5

I think many husbands have pressure...to provide for their family and to protect them....Don't know why you feel the way you do...but you will never find a man with your negative attitude...but perhaps you don't want a husband....which is just as well...because I would feel sorry for him.....He could never do anything right by you!!

Answer 6

GOOD husbands do have pressure. They are protectors, providers, a support system, and so much more. At least my husband is. He has stress and strain as much as I do, but in different areas. Just because a woman has a different role, it doesn't make the husband's any less significant.

Answer 7

being a good husband is simple, but not easy (a happy wife a happy life). Trust me its must easier to work hard around the house, at work, and on a marriage then it is to defend yourself because your a bad husband. I work hard and my wife does to. My father worked 60 hours a week helped raise 7 children, hasn't watched TV for more then 30 min a day for over 40 years and has struggled and always been able to provide for his family. He cant cook, and doesn't know how to do the laundry to save his life but he does his fair share and i know my mother love him for everything he does and know hes no slacker.

p.s. sorry you hate men so much... stay single.

Answer 8

Not to completely defend men here, but they do have pressures. They feel they must be the bread winner.They must be successful at their jobs. They are role models for their sons. They must protect their daughters from the kind of guys that they were when they were young. And they must excel in the bedroom or risk loosing their wife. It's not the same pressure that women face (no man could handle that) but it is pressure. So give them a break.

Answer 9

Hunny, we all hav ethe pressures of everyday life the husband and the wife. Its just that many moons ago the woman is the glue that contines to hoold a family together, not matter what, thru sickness, death, loss of money, I think that most of it we take to heart and men don't its on their minds, but not in there heart to make things right.

Answer 10

I think there are so many expectaions on me, but they're just more subtle than the ones that are expected of women. Because they're so unspoken, they're not necessarily listed. Husbands are expected to work. They are expected to provide for their wives and to try to be there emotionally for their women. This may not always happen, but the expectation is surely there.

Especially in today's society when women are just so cruel to men. Women want to point out men's shortcomings, but unwilling to deal with their own.

Answer 11

i agree and disagree with you. my thinking is along the same lines as a few others who have posted: a GOOD husband's job is harder than we make it out to be. my husband worries and stresses about things so i don't have to. he doesn't need to do this, but he takes it upon himself to protect me. i can't even tell you how that makes me feel. he is supportive and wants me to follow my dreams and passions.
however, he and i both work full time and attend school. i drive nearly two hours to work while he has a 5 minute commute. he does cook, but it really rests on me to do everything else or to ask him to help me (which he is very hesitant to do). i like to let him have free time to watch espn or whatever else he wants to do, but i also expect him to help me as well. it is a misconceived and misogynistic notion that women should be the ones to do everything in the house - UNLESS they are stay-at-home housewives/mothers, which is a noble profession and a demanding one that pays nothing monetarily.
i think we hear more about the expectations of wives and mothers than we do about husbands and fathers, and so it's easier to say we expect too much out of women. but we shouldn't undermine the responsibility that men take on to be good husbands and fathers. i respect and love my husband so much because he goes above and beyond. respecting each other for the work each puts into the marriage will get you a lot farther than b itching about how society expects more out of women than men.