Do you think expensive weddings cheapen marriage?

Question

I'm a wedding photographer, so I of all people shouldn't have this opinion, but I feel large, fancy, expensive weddings cheapen marriage.

In my line of work, I have seen weddings that cost well over 100k dollars, and a couple times, by the time I had the pictures ready to be picked up, the couple was already on the outs.

I'm all for marriage- happily married myself- but I don't understand the need people have for a huge wedding. My husband and I had a very small ceremony and only invited our immediate families.

It has somehow become the bride's big day to have a party for herself and has very little to do w/ love. I understand celebrating your love. I don't understand the need for several thousand dollars worth of flowers, a ten foot tall cake, a 10 thousand dollar dress, etc. Save that money- buy a house- do something to give yourselves a head start as a family- don't start out your marriage fighting about money.

If you're in love, get married.. If you want a parade, have a parad

Answer 1

Yes..I don't understand what a $300 dollar plate of food for each person who joins you has to do with your love for each other...Its drives me nutz really!

Answer 2

First of all, 96% of marriages don't fail, it's more around 50%, and that's regardless of how much money is involved. People who have "expensive" rings and "expensive" weddings may not consider those things expensive. Expensive is a very relative term, for some people a person making $50K a year is wealthy, for others it's $250K. It's all relative to how you look at it. It's not anyone's place to judge how another person or couple chooses how to spend their money. If having an expensive ring and large wedding isn't important to you, then don't do it and put your money elsewhere. If you want it, and you have the means to do it, then why not? It doesn't mean that a couple who spends more money on their wedding doesn't love each other just as much as the couple who have a very simple courthouse ceremony. It also doesn't mean that the couple who have the simple ceremony loves each other more. Marriage is work. I've been married almost 21 years, and it's work. It doesn't matter if you've got a lot of money or a little money, you've got to learn to compromise, live together, set common goals, etc. I have a good marriage not because my husband and I may or may not have a lot of money, we have a good marriage because we value each other as individuals, we support each other in our marriage and our goals, and we make time for each other. Money matters, but not how much of it a couple has, it's how well that couple manages their money.

Answer 3

when people so this, the wedding becomes the focus rather than the marriage. and the stress that comes with planning an event that large and extravagant will weigh on the couple and cause fighting. unless you have so much money just lying around needing to be spent, just have a small, elegant affair and be done with it. the wedding is supposed to be an event celebrating the union of two people, not an excuse for broadcasting how much money you spent.

Answer 4

Sometimes people don't weigh their options....
The main focus should be being happy
>I know what you mean. I am getting married in February and my fiance's father put $10,000.00 in our joint account and my parents put $20,000.00 towards our wedding. But my mother said that just because you have a lavish wedding doesn't mean that your marriage will work. I decided to save that 30,000 and have small ceremony . We still have to live after we get married and the smaller the better. Less pressure and stress.

Answer 5

My whole wedding cost us $ 400.00...and we recycled my husbands old wedding band and had it melted down into two rings...I cant understand why allot of women think or feel if a man does not spend $5K on a ring he is worthless..I also feel most people plan their wedding for months but they never plan the marriage. I 100 % agree with you

Answer 6

I think there is some truth in this. A lot of people get married more for the attention than because truly in love.

If someone cared more about how big the event was than about the fact that they were getting married to a person they loved and that was a big things, then it is quite possible that after the big event, they feel empty and move apart.

Answer 7

Hear hear.
If I get married I want a marriage. The wedding is nothing but the start of that marriage. And it should be like us. Special, tasteful and about our love

Answer 8

Forgive me, but I share your opinion 100%! I hate Bridezillas! Self-centered hedonists! I feel it is so stupid and frivolous to dream one's life away about the perfect wedding, a day just for oneself, that it hardly matters who one is marrying--it could be the Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Answer 9

Honestly I want to have a realaly small cheap wedding so that I can save all my money for the honeymoon.

Answer 10

Your so right. I've been watching a show on the WE network and people spend well over 500k for one wedding. But typically its the parents that pay for it.

Answer 11

I've never thought about this, but I agree with you 100%. It seems the bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage. Great observation, great question.