What are these "Benefits of Marriage" that everyone keeps referring to?

Question

I am just curious, because I've been living with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and we have 2 biological kids together (I have one from a previous relationship), and we are happy, but everyone (family and friends) keeps saying we are "shacking up" and living together without the "benefits of marriage". Someone please explain to me what these benefits are because I would hate to miss out on something.
We pay fewer taxes being unmarried.( no marrige penalty)
We are extended more credit to buy properties etc. because our FICOs are taken into account seperately.
If we were to split up we will not be held accountable for the other person's debts.
When we get older we will get more money from social security.(no ss marriage penalty)

Frankly it seems to me that marriage is a bad financial move. I know that it isn't just about that, but why can't people love each other and be together without being married?

It seems to me that the only benefit of being married occurs if one spouse dies and the assets can be transferred without penalty.
Money is not the only important thing, I know, but I am young and my primary focus right notw is increasing my wealth so that when I am old I can retire comfortably. Prosperity is important to me.

With the divorce rate nowadays, it seems like people get married for 15 years and its over, all that's worked for goes straight to the lawyers. No thank you. I will be a very wealthy woman one day and I don't want to give it away to a bunch of lawyers.

I don't judge others for their decision. All of our friends are married, and some are on the verge of divorce and some have been divorced. I just want people to respect our choice because we here it everyday, "When are y'all getting married?"

Ann S, our health insurance is actually cheaper because we are not married. The family plan is around 400 and the individual plan for him is free at his job and he puts the children on for $120 for all 3, then I pay 200 for an individual plan.

No, I am definately not an athiest, I am a Christian, but I am a liberal Christian and I don't think we have to go to a Church or stand before a judge to be married. We have a commitment between ourselves and God. Adam and Eve didn't have a piece of paper, and when slaves were married they jumped over a broom to do so, because they could not legally get married. Some married people's relationships are total garbage compared to mine. My point is that everybody's (consenting adults) lifestyles should be accepted. And people should not be judged for their choices, nor should they be harrased by friends and family whith questions like, "when are you going to make an 'honest woman' out of her?" As if I am some pitiful woman begging my "baby's daddy" to marry me. Yes he has proposed to me and we probably will get married one day, when we have time. Thanks for all of the answers people.

Answer 1

If you honestly think that you pay less taxes you're kidding yourselves. Filing as "married" costs less..just look at ANY federal tax liability chart.

As far as credit is concerned, if you both kept your records clean, with your COMBINED income I have a hard time believing that you could not have more credit strength as a couple than as individuals.

The fact that you are thinking about what's going to happen "if" you split up says a lot...but if you marry someone who is responsible with money, this wouldn't be an issue. Don't you trust each other with money?

When you get older, if he dies first (which is usually the case) you will never be able to collect on HIS social security as a widow....so you are actually losing out.

There are "1,400 legal rights... conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits."


Also, "Maggie Gallagher and Linda J. Waite, authors of... 'The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially' use extensive scientific data along with illustrative anecdotes to demonstrate that the traditional "'til death do us part" vow of matrimony creates a unique relationship that enriches the husband and wife in every observable way.

Gallagher and Waite begin by examining what they term "postmarriage myths"—popular beliefs such as "marriage is mostly about children; if you don't have kids it doesn't matter whether you cohabit or marry or stay single," and "Marriage is essentially a private matter, an affair of the heart between two adults, in which no outsider, not even the children of the marriage, should be allowed to interfere"—and demonstrate that these widely-held viewpoints have no basis in science or fact.

Marriage is not merely a "private matter" or a "slip of paper," the authors argue, because the act of getting married changes a great deal with regard to the way that couples behave and interact with one another, plan for the future, and experience fulfillment. This transformation, they claim, has immense ramifications for our society. As Gallagher and Waite put it, "Getting married doesn't merely certify a preexisting love relationship. Marriage actually changes people's goals and behavior in ways that are profoundly and powerfully life enhancing."

AND REGARDING DIVORCE: Couples who cohabitate have a MUCH higher rate of splitting up than those who marry first....
"The study cites data showing that cohabitation, in fact, leads to higher divorce rates. Ambert cites the Canadian General Social Survey, which found, in the 20-to-30 age group, 63% of women whose first relationship had been cohabitational had separated by 1995. This compared to 33% of women who had married first."

That's DOUBLE.......

Quite a mathematical advantage. No wonder you're shacking up.

Answer 2

Are you religous? If not, you should be.

When you get married you stand in front of God and take your spouse till death do you part. If you are a believer you need to do it this way. There is a trust to be gained in order to help your relationship grow and marraige is a part of that.

E.g. Will your spouse stay with you through good times and bad? What if you get sick, is he going to leave and just go do something else? or vice versa...

In your heart, you can ignore what the state has to say about it (legality, licensing, etc.) as that is not what marriage is about. Why do we need to pay for a license anyway?

Also, you do have some errors in your accountablity above. If you get your credit together, you certainly will both be responsible for those debts. Similarily, the marraige tax penalty has been eliminated in the lower tax brackets until 2010. (1)

Forget about social security meaning anything in your life.

Answer 3

You must be atheists I do not know where you got your info but when your married you have many tax breaks can enjoy his work benefits. Have better credit since when you combine two incomes it gives you the ability to get more expensive properties etc.. You are in a legally binding contract which makes people more comfortable and defines your commitment to one and another. You have kids together get married to atleast show your kids that this is what mature responsible couples do when they are in love. Maybe you are scared things will change when you marry if you allow them too it will happen if you don't it will.

Really though it is a sin to live and have sex without marriage
and your children are generally considered bastards since you have had them as an unwed parent.

Find God be blessed by him for you and your childrens sake.

Marriage is hardwork but it is the emotional and financial and the having the support and care of a loved one that makes it worthwhile.

Answer 4

I've been happily married for 21 years, and you make some good points. Sounds like marriage is a bad decision for you. Being single is likely a better choice, right?

That's the cool thing about freedom, you you you get to choose and live with the positive/negative consequences.

Answer 5

Well it seems as though you already have your mind made up. For me, a benefit of marriage has been the feeling of security, the emotional and legal commitment. My husband and I stood before all our friends and family and vowed to God to give each other all our love for life. There is something special about that.

Oh, and I got the marriage discount on my car insurance.

Answer 6

marriage is a legal and binding contract, that's why you have to have a court dissolve it

to answer your questions,

you & your children get medical benefits as a spouse
your children receive death benefits, if he should pass away
you are entitled to his social security in your later years when you retire or he dies

you have no legal right to say even what may be done with his body ( upon death) his home or his assets

if you are already commited with children, why not be married?

Answer 7

well i can think of one benefit if my husband gets in an accident I'm allowed in the hospital room when only family is allowed. If something happens I'm the person the police call me not his parents

Answer 8

I think you worry about worldly possessions and money way more than you should when you die what happens to all of this live your life for the now because you are never promised tomorrow.

Answer 9

Don't do it because your family wnts you too, do it cuz you want to personally I would stay shacking the only benefit is not going to hell but shoot you can go there for having impure thoughts!

Answer 10

You see the LIGHT...OMG somebody give this lady a cookie. You are the first in a very long time to recognize that marriage is a complete and total SHAM.

Don't listen to all these losers that are married...they just want you to be as miserable as they are.