Our son's Adrian and Alex want to be in the room when my I give birth. Alex is 11 and Adrian is 10. Do you think that they can handle it?
2007-11-21 03:46:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
No.. and as a matter of fact, most hospitals don't even allow children to be in the delivery room, same thing with surgery or anything else. Check with your hospital and it will probably nip the decision in the bud when they tell you it's not allowed.
Even if it is, I don't think it would be a good idea to have them in the room. jmo.
2007-11-21 04:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by Cupid 6 · 0⤊ 7⤋
This is really between you, your partner and the children. If your boys are showing an interest, you are half way to a decision!
My eldest (not yet five at the time) was present for the birth of her little sister. Five years later, she still describes it as the best day and experience of her life.
A few things to think about:
As a rule of thumb, it is best to have a mature, trusted family member or friend in attendance just for the siblings (and understands their role for your sons). This ensures that you do not have to worry about your other children if one or both of them decide to leave the room during the labour or birth. It also gives them someone that they are close with to talk to and express their feelings (should the need arise).
My advice would be to watch at least one birthing video with them so that they know what to expect. Have open, frank discussions about how labour progresses, that you may look like you are in pain, etc... It is better that they know what to expect than to be completely caught off guard by the sights and noises that can be part of a normal childbirth.
What is your comfort level with the situation? Every family has different attitudes and modesty towards to these things. No family is wrong. All I am asking is whether you feel like you can give yourself over completely to the process of labour and birth with your boys in the room? If it is not an issue for you, then okay - go for it! But, at least, think about your own sense of comfort and modesty.
Most of all, if you, as a family, decide that this is what you want to do together, make it clear to the boys that just as they are welcome to attend the birth, they are also welcome to leave, at any time, if they change their mind (and even come back in again) - I think a revolving door policy is best when kids are involved.
I wish you a wonderful birth!
Best wishes!
2007-11-21 04:13:29 · answer #2 · answered by Calluna 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them a lot about what is going to happen and some things that could possibly happen. Show them birth videos. Them if the till want to go, let them. But I would have someone else there (besides Dad so he doesn't have to miss out) who can take them out to the waiting room if at any point they decide it's too much for them.
If you think they can handle it, and they think they can handle it there's no harm in trying!
2007-11-21 04:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Heather R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you know your boys better than anyone, and you should be the best judge of weather or not they can "handle" it. I think that it is so awesome that they want to be there. You should really think hard about this tho. You dont want them to feel like they arent part of the whole pregnancy experience, but at the same time you dont want to scare them. You should reflect on your behaviors when you birthed them, and then decide. Some women dont handle child birth as well as others. To see you in pain may scare them. Not seeing the birth may make them resent the fact that they werent there. I really think this is something that you need to decide. Hope my insight helped a little.
2007-11-21 03:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by RTGIRL 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Explain to them what it's going to be like. They don't have to be "down-there" but they're still going to see you in A LOT of pain. Ask them if they are sure that it's something they want to see. It might be better if they wait in the waiting room until RIGHT AFTER the baby is born. But it's ultimitally your choice, if you feel that they will do okay and that you're comfortable with it, then by all means let them be in there. You are their mother, you know the best about them and what they can handle.
2007-11-21 04:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you bring them to the hospital and see how they handle watching you in labor. Maybe they can be with you the whole time and just step out for the moment of delivery? It really depends on your kids, and you would know best. If they are there for everything except watching the baby come out, they are still sharing the experience with you but wont have to see the blood and other delivery things that might scare them.
2007-11-21 04:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they want to be there, and you are comfortable having them there, then yes. Talk over what they can expect, and let them know that if they begin to feel uncomfortable at any time, it's okay for them to leave the room. Make sure someone is available to take them out to the waiting room, and bring some books or games, and snacks for them.
Good luck!
2007-11-21 04:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by daa 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Our son is 11 and has autism. He was in the room when our baby was born last year. He stood at the top of the bed and held my hand. He also went to every prenatal appt.
As a side note- he is so attached to his sister. He is very doting. This surprises people who assumed he would hate her and would have a very hard time with the transition to "Sibling-hood". It was easy.
What to do to prepare? Have them watch childbirth on You tube- and see what they think. Or, have them watch a video on childbirth. Our son loves science and wasn't grossed out at all...he said, "It's all biology Mommy." Too true!
My mom was there to assist with him if we needed her and we didn't. He was absolutely amazed. It is to this day the one thing that he still talks about. It touched him in ways I never thought possible. The other day he said to her, "I saw you born so you need to listen to me..." Lolol!
Edited to add: He asked to be there and packed his own hospital bag complete with toys, books, juice, and snacks for himself. He slept in the fold-out couch in the birthing room and was awake to see the birth. He missed them breaking the bag of waters though- and is still bummed!
2007-11-21 03:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
i don't know, they might be able to handle it. I would show them a video or let them watch "A Baby Story" to let them know what they are in for first. I would then tell them (this is how it was during my deliverey) that once you start pushing no one comes in or out so if they are in there and change their mind then they are stuck. If they
2007-11-21 06:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is up to you and your doctor. I thought about having my 8 year old when I had my baby but I decided not to because I think it would be scary for her to see her mommy in pain and seeing all the blood and stuff.
2007-11-21 03:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe. It might gross them out but they will learn something. It's all up to you and what you prefer. After all, you are the one giving birth to another child.
2007-11-21 03:50:53 · answer #11 · answered by C007 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋