My boyfriend and I have been living together for a little over a year. Our relationship is almost non-existent but we still are intimate, unfortunately the birth control (depovera) we were using failed. I am now pregnant and I am considering an abortion but I feel he wants me to keep the "child" He threatend that if I do anything to the "child" he will throw me up against the wall. he also threatened that if I think things r bad now it could get a lot worse. Should I not him that I am getting an abortion?
2007-11-21 03:31:04 · 26 answers · asked by milana302004 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You can't pretend your boyfriend is such a boy guy. If he was, you wouldn't continue to sleep with him and live with him. It's a little disturbing that you call your unborn baby "the child" but I would never suggest having an abortion without his knowledge. It's his baby too not just yours. If you don't want the responsibility, and he does, let him take over!! And if you are scared of him, leave, you have no excuses.
2007-11-21 03:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by Cruz and Kinsley's momma 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's a bit late to say you should have gotten out of the relationship when it turned "almost non-existent". Contraceptives are certainly known to fail. Talk with someone at Planned Parenthood. Only you can decide if abortion is right or wrong for you. Everyone else has only one thing...an opinion, but they are not living in your situation. If anyone threatens you, the relationship is over and could potentially turn uglier. Get out of it and obtain a restraining order against him and contact a women's shelter if you feel the need. Or take your things, leave and go to your family or a friend.
2007-11-21 11:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by Darke Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No; your 'boyfriend' should not be forcing you to do anything. Forcing you to carry a pregnancy that you don't want to term is akin to committing rape on his part.
It is your choice and your choice alone as to what you want to do with your own body - it's your body, not anyone else's, and it is your right to seek a safe and legal abortion if you so choose. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to respect you at a basic human level.
What you need to do is leave him right away - go stay with your parents, friends, anyone. There is no reason to remain in a violent relationship. Once you're out of there make an appointment with a Planned Parenthood counselor to go over your options - they will be able to help you.
Ignore anyone talking about baby killing or using words like murder - they don't actually care about you, about babies, or anyone other than themselves. They don't think women are anything other than breeding machines. It's is perfectly moral and acceptable to seek and have an abortion if you so choose.
2007-11-21 12:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who has worked with women in domestic violence situations, I would advise you to make a plan to leave as soon as possible. I dont know what your financial situation is but you can get help and support from your local agencies that work with women who are in abusive relationships. Make an escape plan and carry it through. Be sure that he doesnt find out what you are up to because it could be very dangerous. If he was concerned about his child, he would not be threatening to harm you. If you have this child you will be tied to him forever since you will have a child in common. He wants to be in control of you and your life. Please talk to a counselor at either the abortion clinic or at a domestic violence agency to get help in working through this situation. Stay safe. Good luck.
2007-11-21 11:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by Diane M 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!!
ok first things first... Any man who threatens you this early in the relationship will most likely be abusive.. Not just threatening abusive but real life abusive including controling and demeaning. Second... ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE IF YOU SHALL KEEP A BABY!!!! You deff dont want him raising your baby so if you do decide to keep it, it is forever in your care. You will be responsible for that baby no matter what and if he is threating you, what happens when he hits your lil one? Lastly.. I dont really agree with abortions, HOWEVER, it is not me in your situation and it is not I who will have to live with your decision.. I have a couple friends who have had abortions and one completely regrets it and the other thinks nothing of it.. But again, ONLY YOU can choose that option. Only you will have to deal with the afterfact, and only you can answer your own question.. But here is my advice.. I would leave him ASAP!!!!!! Then I would weigh my options and go from there. Ill tell you a story.. I was 16 when I married my x-husband. I married him because we were having a child. My son is now 12 and my other one is 10. The man I married was horrible. He hit me, gave me an std, made my life very hard and demanding. HOWEVER... I HAVE NEVER regretted my children. BUT it has been hard.. Both boys are straight A students, they are in sports, and have had a stable life but I left him only because he threatened my son... It has worked out for us. We are happy and ok. I remarried 6 years ago and am now pregnant with my third son. We live a very stable life now, but my kids were the ones who have had to live with the disappointment of a father who broke promises, told lies, and now resides in a prison. My only true answer is god gave me them for a reason and my love pro veiled above all of our issues. We are blessed, but it was a long hard road and I never for one second didnt want them.. But again... That was my choice and only I could of lived with it...
2007-11-21 11:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by jag8625 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah i'm against abortion too but i'll try to give you advice too.. i'm sure this guys abusive ways didn't start when you got pregnant, it probably started long before that.. you knew you might end up pregnant. and if he's really that terrible you wouldn't have even told him if you knew you didn't want the baby. If you guys live together you should be mature enough to own up to your responsibility and take care of this baby. I say you put a restraining order against this guy and try to have this baby on your own.. if not, then stay with him and let him beat you and all that.
2007-11-21 11:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. You need to do what you have to do to get away from him for good. He will never change. He wants the baby so he can control you more. He knows you'll be tied down with the baby.... Think long and hard, seek help, and get away from that animal before it's too late!! Good luck!
Don't talk to him about anything, you know how he is. Keep EVERYTHING to yourself. Every plan you have!
2007-11-21 11:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Legally, it's your right to make that decision (as long as you're not too far along). But morally, I don't think you have the right to deprive him of his own child. Still, if you're telling the truth and he is abusive, he shouldn't have a child anyway. Is there a relative you can stay with to get away from him? Maybe you can put it up for adoption? I'm not strictly anti-abortion, but I do think the baby belongs to both parents and should not be aborted unless BOTH parents agree to it.
Think long and hard before you make this decision, and be sure you aren't doing something you will regret later. Good luck
2007-11-21 11:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Whether you like it or not, it's his baby, too. Just because the baby is growing in your body doesn't change that. You are being selfish because you are only thinking about what you want. I know you don't want the child in an abusive relationship, but you need to get out of the relationship and keep the baby.
2007-11-21 11:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by tuff~luv 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out, get out, get out. The fact that you stayed together just for the sex should have been a sign. Run, don't walk away. Chances are very good that this guy will seriously injure both you or the baby (should you decide to keep it). Don't tell him a damn thing, wait until he leaves and then split. Take what you need and go to a women's shelter if nothing else. They can help you from there. Those were not threats- he will do them (regardless of your actions). Please honey- get out before this gets worse than it already is!
2007-11-21 11:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by KD 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋