Women who commit adultry? What should be the consequences?

Question

Today my friend told me that his wife was having an affair. He had been faithful for 9 years since they had been married. She wants to keep the kids (two kids) and her family has money. He is a good guy. A few years back, he was cleaning a pool (he cleans and builds pools) and some women wanted to sleep with him knowing he was married. He refused because he was married. His wife is pregnant and he can't be the father because he had an operation so he can't have any more. She is a manager at a Old Navy store. It seems so unfair. I think it was better in the old days when people stoned these people to death. Nowdays, only the lawyers make money from something like this at the expense of the emotions of the kids. It just seems so unfair. Shouldn't there be more consequences for acts like this. A federal law saying if someone commits adultry, they lose custody of the kids automatically and lose most of the property.

Answer 1

He sounds too good for her in my opinion. Her punishment is losing a good guy who loved her and was faithful. That is not easy to find and I think she will regret what she did and by then the husband will not want anything to do with her.

Answer 2

It should be harder to get married and harder to get a divorce unless there is abuse. It is so acceptable now that if you are not happy in a certain area of your marriage then hey find it elsewhere who cares about the kids. That is what is wrong with kids now a days they have no Dad that comes home after work to play with them or dicipline them when needed. Mom has to be a single Mother and has no control over the kids. I am not saying all single Mothers are like that. I was a single mother for 4 years. The kids are stuck at home alone while Mom balances working and social life. The Dad's walk away free from everything except paying child support and a lot of Dad's out there are not paying. The Mom will go out with the boyfriend leaving the kids home alone again. The kids eat fast food and are not getting the attention they deserve. It is rather sad if you ask me. I really think it wouldn't matter if the kids were taken away from them due to they are selfish people already they probably have a way out of another responsibility. Like I said I am not talking about all single mothers and fathers.

Answer 3

Now, stoning? A little extreme, I think, although if I were in your friend's situation I'd definitely be the person to throw the first stone if it were legal (but only because you tend to think differently when you're angry).

I say that there definitely should be more consequences for things like these, but if the other man was aware of the woman's marriage status, he should be punished in some way too--that is, if the affair had a negative impact on your friend (as opposed to if it were an open relationship to begin with). But that's just my opinion.

Answer 4

I'm happy that at the end of your comment you state "if someone commits adultry" not just women...since it goes both ways. Now I agree with you! One thing your friend evidently hasn't talked to an attorney yet because he will be advised that he has every right to ask for custody of his children based on the reason for this divorce...however knowing the system and men he will no doubt say that it's something else and ask for hopefully joint custody...Keep in mind that while it is seemingly hard on children...they are fairly resilient little people if treated correctly in this process and kept away from the she said/did - he said/did...that's where it hurts them...In certain areas it's the law that the parents must attend a "parenting class" where they are advised against the what's allowable and what's not...I always recommend counciling for the children if they are 10 on up....keep an eye on grades and behavior...good luck to your friend and remember...I know he's your friend...but you are only hearing his side and you never saw what went on behind that closed door....

Answer 5

The thing is it's wrong either way if the wife or husband commits adultery. Yes it is wrong and hurtful when they are betrayed like that. I like the whole stoning to death idea but let's face it would never happen. Also just b/c the spouse cheated that makes them a bad husband or wife, not a bad parent. Are they being a good role model to their kids about marriage, no, but sometimes(and I mean sometimes, not always) the parent who cheated is actually a good parent. Just stupid I guess when it comes to loyalty and honoring their vows. I do think that if either parent isn't a good parent then the one that actually gives a damn about their children should have full custody. Shared custody if both are great parents. I've thought about what vile acts I'd do to my husband if he cheated on me and stoning to death is not even on my top ten, but it's still a good one. Yet I have to admit he is a good father to our kids and a good role model for them. That is hard to find nowadays in either parent. My kids adore and love him and that means a lot to me. Sure I would hate to see him and be nice out of the children's sake but I'd do it for them. Once a divorce happens it's no longer about the whole wife/husband issue anymore(that's why they had the divorce). It's now centered around the children and to make the transition as easy as possible. I know, I was that kid stuck in the middle of two divorced parents who hated each other and made our life hell. So even though your friend is going through this rough time, tell him he is lucky to be finally away from his soon to be ex wife. In the long run he's better off from this women. He may not believe that yet or regret all the years spent w/ her but in time he'll move on and find someone who can be as true to him and he is to them.

Answer 6

Women get into relationships and out of them for emotional and security reasons - sex isnt the reason.

Marriage is a promise a legal sometimes religious and social promise but it isnt a life sentence - a person can get out. This is our western society at large.

People fall in and out of love.People make mistakes, including marrying the wrong person.

Name calling and labels such as whore shows a lack of education on the part of the person saying it and tells of a lack of compassion for the human situation.

Men and women have extra marital affairs but its mostly men yet women get called the names - and by other women!

Marriage isnt ownership - its a big promise and a legal situation but not ownership.

If a person strays then there is an issue in the marriage - something isnt enough for the person so they go elsewhere.

What is incorrect with what I've said?

Answer 7

Well I agree with you if we stoned people when they committed adultery there wouldn't be as much of it. I could have been stoned to death for some of the things I've done in my life...and if I had known that was a punishment I don't think I ever would have considered it.

I'm not saying she was right because it sounds absolutely horrible and of course violating your vows is a horrible thing to do but keep in mind you cannot possibly know the intimate details of their relationship....even if he tells you everything, you didn't live it yourself and you just don't know what all went on.

that being said, even if he had an operation he COULD still be the father.

and there are more consequences. she has to live with herself. but he can go into a new marriage with somebody better knowing he never cheated on his wife and it wasn't his fault.

Answer 8

Stoning is not the answer. Society used to scorn and turn away from adulterers; they were considered without morals or character. Since so many accept adultery and even have legal web-sites encouraging it, it is on the rise.

Think that a person, such as your friend, should not wish vengance but be content with the fact he was true to his vows. Many have been cheated on and could chose to be a victim of it or to go on with their life. He chose this woman for his wife; no one else did, so, ultimately, he is responsible for the choices he made; not her infidelity, but his choice in the partner he selected and his part in the marriage.

He will either reconnect with her or disconnect; another choice he will make.

Answer 9

Would you feel the same way if it were your friend that was having an affair instead of his wife? There are harsh punishments in other countries when someone commits adultery...especially for the women...Sometimes the women are ganged raped by other men as punishment....and the men basically get a slap on the wrist....

Answer 10

What she did is wrong, wrong, wrong. There were problems in her marriage and she should have been willing to work them out. Both men and women stray for many different reasons...just because he was faithful doesn't mean he was a good husband. Something is always missing in a marriage when one partner needs emotional and physical needs elsewhere. Both of them should have been willing to work on that.

Answer 11

If i were him I would tr for custody, these are his only kids, and the woman is pregnant, by another MAN, I think he should ahve custody or atleast shared custody--don't worry he will find someone else to love him the right way