My husband quit a well paying job with great benefits?

Question

because they overworked him and he had no time to be with his family. Now he's working for half the money and our insurance is not very good plus we barely break even. He also walked away from 20,000 in comission. We need a new roof because we have leaks ...we stress everytime our daughter gets sick because we have to pay 100% until our deductable is met. We had agreed that I would stay at home until our daughter started public school which isnt until next year (because we didn't want to have to put her in daycare)...now I've had to take a part time job working weekend evenings and holidays...I have little to no skills for a better job. We also have medical bills because I had to have surgery this summer. I know whats been done cant be undone but I dont understand why he couldn't continue to find a better paying job with better benefits. His job now is so unerwhelming that he calls me 6 times a day because he's bored...and he says he wants to retire from this job.

let me clarify that I very much appreciate him. I worked a full time job up until a year ago and HE asked me to quit because he was making so much money I didnt need to work. My job worked great with our schedule and my daughter could go with me for part of it...the rest, he wanted me to be home so we had a hot dinner on the table. Im frustrated because I gave up a great job because he asked me to and now the position is filled. I think he's flip flopping with his career...Im glad he can be with us more but now Im sacrificing family time. The only difference is that I cant make nearly as much money as he can because he got the college education. Now he says we cant afford for me to go to school too...so Im stuck not having the skills for better options.

I wish I could take her to the free clinic but we cant because we have insurance (even if it is state insurance )...we do qualify as far as income goes

Answer 1

you need to talk to him. theres better jobs out there that will challenge him but not kill him... and they pay better. he just has to look

Answer 2

Been there, done that. He enjoys the low-stress level of this job he has now and probably isn't interested in finding another job. Re-do your budget and work with what you have. I'm sure there are things you could cut back on to have extra money for things like medical bills and roof repairs. Maybe cut out the cell phone or cable tv.

It's important to stay home with your daughter and that's a good decision. Consider the sacrifices you'll have to make in other areas just something that has to be done and it all benefits your daughter.

Take her to the free clinic when she is sick.

Answer 3

Financial stress is hard. Have him keep searching to find a job with more of a balance between work and home that increases his income. We live and we learn. Unfortunately, his actions affect the whole family, so I am sure he regrets the financial stress too.

You should look into programs in your area and get enrolled in classes so you can get a good job later and really enjoy some financial happiness. LPN school is a good one. Then you can go on to RN and go anywhere and do almost anything. I started as an LPN and went into research two years later and tripled my original income with less hours. Even if that is not the right program for you, I am sure you can get free training/education and do anything you want to. I picked a program that changed my life in less than a year, then built on it. We went from dirt poor to new cars in the drive and money in the bank in less than three years. You can too. Family is VERY important to me to, so I chose a career that is flexible and works for our family.

Right now it is hard. Holidays are coming. You are tired and resentful. Sit down with hubby and agree on some ideas on how to improve this situation. Don't blame, deny, argue, etc---just focus on how to get into a better position.

Hang in there. You two can find a better way. Look for a better job for him. Maybe he should also start school on line so that you two have a brighter future and can live more freely and less stressfully a few years from now. Set some goals and get started. If you have a plan and you know how you can get there, you won't feel so frustrated and overwhelmed. We've been there and we fixed it. You will too.

Answer 4

He needs encouragement not a lecture from his lover. Don't drive the man nuts every chance you get. Spend some time with him doing something he likes. This way he'll feel as if he owes you some good behavior back. Use reverse psychology. If he knows your only doing nice things to push him to find a better job, he'll only resent you for it. That's how men think. Keep your mouth closed and open it to sprinkle around bread crumbs for the pigeon only when the pigeon is hungry for information. Will it be hard? Oh yes. But it will be even harder if your stuck raising that little girl alone. Hang in there. If you have to leave him eventually...make sure you have someone who's willing to help support you first. Because if you leave him without the support you need, then you won't be any better than him for leaving that good paying job.

Answer 5

I am in a similar situation, I make about $75,000 a year and have been offered a job that would take me down to about $45,000. My husband supports my decision but not until March or April. I can live with that. But now I am feeling guilty because you get use to a certain lifestyle and I feel it is unfair to take that away from my family. You should not be mad at her for wanting to make herself happy, but benefits are a big deal so I hope you can provide insurance for the family. Also any big down size should be a family decision and treated as such. I would be upset with my husband and vice versa if he made a choice like that without taking my opinion to heart.

Answer 6

Is he old enough to "retire"? If so, maybe he should retire, take the benefits and go find another job.

Sounds like your husband is either "burned out", or found some other interests in life outside of his family (hope not, that's way uncool). Or else, he's having some "mid-life crisis" and needs a good reality check. Has he been smoking a lot of pot lately? That would explain the change in his behavior.

Good luck. I hope that your hubby straightens up and flies right.

Answer 7

Sometimes we need change and the change that we need comes faster than we expect it. His pride was hurt when the previous company overlooked him, he was miserable going to work everyday. Although you might not understand because you stay home, going somewhere where you hate going everyday can make a miserable day... I'm not dogging you in anyway, I'm jealous that you can stay home. I do however understand his side.

Now, you might want to talk to him about finding a new job. Maybe say hey since your so bored look for something better. Ask him nicely to not quit until he finds something first. That's your best approach.

Good luck to you and your family, I don't think your a bad anything because you want a good life for you and your family.

Answer 8

sounds to me like your husband pulled a definate irresponsible move. Its a shame...good paying jobs are so hard to come by now days. You are going to have to lay the law down on him and tell him what a huge mistake he made and that he has to fix it somehow. Start working on it and youll be right there to help him but he must do somethring before you get too far in debt and out of control.

Answer 9

You need to sit down with your husband and share your feelings. Ask him how he feels about the insurance situation and barely getting by. Is it bothering him? The two of you need towork this out together, but it starts with being open with one another. Good luck!

Answer 10

Whow.....so he choose family over job.....what a guy. Not many of those around these days. Sounds like you're more interested in the money instead. Just be happy and enjoy one another while you can. Money is a lot but it's not everything.

Answer 11

Well, I'm not sure what your question is. Perhaps you just needed to vent. I'm sure the financial situation you're in is stressful, but I AM somewhat impressed that he quit a job that gave him no time with his family to be ABLE to spend time with family. Money IS vital to survive yes, but it can't buy back time with loved ones. I lost my mom a few months ago, and I just WISH I had spent more time with her.