I need your advice?

Question

Here's the thing. My hubby and i have been together for 8 years. he's always thought i was gorgeous,and always let me know it.(I'm a former swimsuit model)even when we broke up once years ago,he left the person he was dating to get back with me.The thing is,i had our daughter a few months ago,and the pregnancy weight did NOT come off.(About 30 pounds over)He tells me i still look gorgeous and that he loves me just the way i am,but i am starting to feel insecure,because his ex girlfriend has just started to work where he works,and im afraid that now that i've lost my figure,he might regret having left her and now thinks that SHE'S better looking than me.I try to get him to tell me the truth but he just goes on and on about how i'm paranoid and how he loves only me and how he isn't attracted to her anymore but i've seen her,compared to what i look like now,she looks pretty good.I went from a 10 to a 5 and i don't know if i should believe him or if he just doesnt want to hurt me.

Answer 1

RELAX. If he says you are beautiful, then believe him. Even if this other woman is more physically attractive, and I"m not even saying she is, he LOVES you. You just had a baby with him. It is going to take some time to get back into shape. It takes most new moms about a year to recover from child birth. There are some fortunate ones, but for the most part it takes time. He love you, and he loves your curves. They are the result of having his baby. Please don't keep asking him to tell you the truth, because he is. He may end up getting resentful of the fact that you don't take him for what he says. If he says your are gorgeous, then believe him, and let this go. This is more about your own self image than how he sees you. If you are really upset about the added weight, then do something about it for you. Start taking the baby for walks. They even have exercise tapes for new moms using the baby to help get back into shape. You are having the same feelings that most new moms I know feel. I've been through it twice, and my husband said I drove him nuts both times. Relax, start exercising, and believe your husband. He loves you. He thinks you are beautiful no matter what. (and I'm sure you are too)

Answer 2

Well, you have 2 options. Either you believe him or you don't. You cannot and will not ever know if he's lying to you, in order to discover this, you would have to be able to read his mind.
The question would be what are you prepared to do if you make the decision Not to belive him?
If you choose to believe him then don't give him a hard time about it anymore.
If you just had a baby, your figure will eventually come back, as will your self-esteem. I'm sure that most men, are pretty understanding about women's bodies after baby. Don't forget, you also just gave him (i'm assuming) his first baby and it seem's a lot of men do have a special something for their women that have done this for them.
I can understand you being concerned with him working so close together with his ex, I think that would frazzle any wife... even one that didn't just have a baby. Just keep in mind that if you become insistent about this, he might just figure if he has the name he might as well have the game. Know what I mean? And it could lead to a lot of dissention and fights and no one likes to live a life like that. You wouldn't want to drive him away either and make your concerns a self fullfilling prophecy.
Also, I'm sure that there is more to you than just your figure. If he left this woman for you and she looked good as well, then obviously it isn't just your looks. He loves you for something other than your body.

Answer 3

First and foremost, you need to listen and trust your husband. You may have gained weight but look at what you accomplished. You nurtured a human being in your body and gave birth. You have given him the most precious gift anyone could. You say you had your daughter a few months ago. Give your body time to lose the weight. It took 9 months to put it on and it just might take that long to get it off. Don't look at celebrities like they are the norm. They HAVE to lose the weight rapidly (which isn't always healthy). Their careers depend on that! Cut yourself some slack. If you are up for it then start walking. Use the negative energy you are wasting on fear and put it to good use. You just might be surprised. And just give your husband a break. If he says he loves you and thinks that you are beautiful then he must mean it.

Answer 4

I think you should believe him. He keeps telling you but you dont seem happy with the answers. When you have a child you tend to forget about yourself and think more about the baby. Take time out from being a mum. Go and get a manicure and be pampered. you will be amazed at how you feel about yourself after. Start dressing for your post baby shape. Confidence is a biggie too. Have some belief on how gorgeous you can be and always make an effort. He sounds like he loves you, so believe him. If he wanted to be with her he would be.

Answer 5

Be there for her and attempt and get her to talk to her dad and mom... through her chatting with them provides her extra innovations on wether or no longer she needs to maintain it or perhaps adoption she has extra innovations now than she will have the means to later. Her dad and mom will discover out ultimately basically determine that's to no longer previous due. And be a sturdy pal and attempt and help/handbook her to make the innovations she needs and not what anybody "needs" her to do because of the fact she am has to handle it later on in existence no remember what she makes a decision... and prefer the lady earlier reported her dad and mom will improve to the belief and particular there's a wager they're going to loose it however the won't injury her or the child. So motivate her to make her judgements which will earnings her interior the tip.

Answer 6

You sound paranoid to me... which could run him off faster than the weight.
Goodness girl, you just had a baby.. the happiest time of your life and your are going to spoil it with the insanity the the media feeds us about what is beautiful and what is not?!?!?

If the reason that your hubby spent 8 years with you was due to your weight and physical appearance then what you are saying is actually insulting to your husband. You are saying that he is a shallow oaf.

The weight will come off slowly if you work at it... there is no magic wand.

Answer 7

There is always someone out there better looking than you and as you age, the looks fade; it is what is inside your soul and heart that attracts one person to another. Quit being so superficial and give your husband some credit for the choice he made in a wife. And if it really bothers you so much, lose the weight if only for your own self esteem issues.

Answer 8

this is a perfectly normal way to feel after giving birth. our bodies go through so much and it takes quite a while for them to bounce back if they ever do. for now there is honestly nothing you can do but trust him. that is the basis of a relationship and if you can't trust him you shouldn't have been with him. there is more to a relationship than being gorgeous. if you're worried about this now, what about when you get old and wrinkly? we all end up with wrinkles, we can't stay young and beautiful forever. so i say trust him and just wait it out. be at ease with your own body. you may just be projecting your fears onto your husband and your feelings that you have of your new body. if you're so obsessed work out and try to get those lbs off. gl!

Answer 9

I hate the fact that we do this to ourselves! You just had a baby! Give your body time to heal and the weight will come off! You are lucky in the respect that your husband compliments you. And, don't forget, he came back to you!! Keep your chin up and when you feel yourself starting to slip into that kind of thinking, go for a walk or do something physical! Good luck!

Answer 10

I think your just worried, he loves you! You must be a beautiful lady! 30lbs, I'm sure on you just makes you look even more beautiful!! Now you have a wonderful daughter, he'd be an idiot to leave you for a whore... :) Have no worries, he only wants you. If you find he's doing things differently or staying out or giving you signs then question, until then don't worry...