Why are men like this now?

Question

Why are we slammed by being overly-emotional when that is what we heard our Moms beg our Dads to be? Now we are expected to have a great job, get you an SUV, send kids to private school, and still have time to fix and talk, etc.
Ive become glib, unemotional everywhere else but here. Pathetic I know. But this just reaffirms my theories. Why have I become so bitter? And are all men becoming bitter?

Answer 1

Your upset because you are expected to be a man and not a lazy man who doesn't provide for his family and get the best and safest things for that family?

Lots of woman are bread winners in homes nowadays, and fill those shoes as well as the mommy shoes that men simply cannot fill in certain areas. Yes you are expected to have a great job, if you love yourself and your family you will want the best things. Yes, many people like SUV's don't you want your wife driving a safe vehicle, one that will protect your children??

Men aren't bitter, men are men. We are now in a new era where technology, education and charisma is what makes people rich and happy. Men used to have to be "manly men" work 11 hours a day doing hard labor, come home to their wives and bring home money. Men for centuries have not just been bitter but destroyed inside by all the hard labor they did. Men would die early from the work, leaving wives moneyless and homeless. Many men couldn't handle the work so Jack Daniels became their bestfriends as soon as they returned home. Leaving their wives unfullfilled and hopefully not beaten by their drunk husbands.

I don't think you realize how lucky you are. And if you are lazy that is even acceptable. You can live in your parents basement until your mid-30s and buy a very very cheap home with your best buddy and die.

Answer 2

I know what you are saying. It sounds like you are focused on what society and other people think. I say, just be yourself.

Keep in mind, there's no hidden panel of judges that are going to grade or judge you on how well you fit some masculine stereo type.

The only thing I wonder, is why is it affecting you to the point of bitterness... I believe the only way I would feel that way is if my wife, or others close to me were holding me to some sort of standard... ie. the SUV for her...

but, yes I defintely understand where you are coming from, and no, I do not believe all men are becoming bitter. I know I am not, I feel pretty much free to express myself and I see the same in many of my friends and co-workers. I have two sons who I allow to be themselves and to not be afraid to express themselves.

Do not be afraid, relax, and do not worry about what other people think... and keep in mind that life will go by in the blink of an eye... live it as you see fit, because someday you are going to wake up an old man... and you don't want to have lived a bitter life...

Answer 3

I am sorry that you have run into people that have made you feel that private schools, new SUVs and all of the other things that go along with all of that are so important. The emotional part...no one wants someone who cries all of the time, or starts every sentence with "this makes me feel like"....man or woman doesn't like that I am pretty sure. However...with that said, I married a man who has huge child support payments and doesn't have a lot of money, I also work and we do OK. He laughs a lot, he cries, he feels things and there are times when I have to be his rock....there are times when he is mine. Glib and unemotional i hope is a phase you are going through because you ran through a string of back luck by getting involved with selfish and uncaring people...there are a lot of nice and really cool people in the world...try again...pick your spots and you will be happy. I wish this for you.

Answer 4

First of all, you are not all men. Only speak for yourself. Secondly, your parents should have told you that you that "things" cannot find you happiness, and the difference between wants and needs.

Who is it that expects you to do these things? Have you actually asked your wife if she wants this kind of life, or are you making assumptions? If she really wants all those things, why did you tell her that you would provide them?

These are the choices you made, and they are the consequences of your choices. However you are not an island, what you do effects all those dependent on you. If you are living in an emotional vacumn, and you know you are, why aren't you being a grown up and getting counseling to find out what is going on. You are desperately unhappy, but usually when people are unhappy its because they provide things to make everyone else happy and expect to be thanked for it. Life isn't like that. If you are buying your kids love with material things but not being their father, then what exactly did you expect? If you are keep a wife who is more concerned about what she drives and where she lives than about the man she married, then what exactly do you expect.

You can help yourself if you want to. Stop blaming everyone else, including society for your choices. Stop wallowing in self pity instead of getting the tools to cope with your life. Stop spending so much time mucking around in your brain and spend some time getting to know your family. If you don't like how you are living, then figure out what you really want in life and do that. Just remember that you created the world that others have become dependent on, and don't let your selfishness make life unpleasant for them.

You're bitter because you have the luxury of being able to be. Go feed the homeless at a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving, it'll help put your feet on the ground of reality.

Answer 5

in this case you are becoming bitter cause you feel alot of pressure having to make sure is limited to what she wants and maybe you feel overwhelmed bout feeling you have so many oblgations as a man women are so damn high maintaince now days and arnt satisfied with the finall things in life thats why men become so bitter towards women and females want there men to have this and that buy this that and this so all the feeling your having are natural i can only understand the pressure just dont let it get to you find ways to cope with the emotional distress,

Answer 6

Lois is right in many ways - men are expected to be everything to everyone in the modern world and, quite frankly this is impossible. A lot of women complain about how difficult it is for them to balance their home life and their career - well, nowadays its the same for men, only we don't have the choice.
I'm not bitter - my wife and I have a great relationship where we truly work as a partnership - but I see it in a lot of my friends.

Answer 7

Sounds like your relationship has issues if you are becoming bitter. Most marriages I know of, the wife and husband both work to make ends meet.

Answer 8

don't compare urself with other man who is better than u but just question urself y u can't be better than him.be optimistic n reason out y ur dad n mom always did the wrong things which could teach u the lesson n don't follow their bad examples.ok?after all life in this world is so wonderful that u should be thankful to god.

Answer 9

because alot of men are being put up against a wall with women that want to be treated like Lady's but want to compete with men.. they want men to tell them there beautiful ..but they can at any point put a sexual harassment case against the men...you can't have it both ways ..men are in the middle and get run over on both sides.

Answer 10

It's so hard trying to be something you just can't be, because mom and dad did. It's also exausting. Stop trying to keep up with what society says.