u understood wrong what emotions did my husband feel when he had an affair?

Question

he says that he never stop loving me so tell me what emotions does someone feel that he is betraying his wife whilst his in the relationship, guilt ect

Answer 1

he had the affair because he loved her and didn't love u enough not to have the affair, now all of a sudden he never stopped loving u, its a story, because a man who truly loves and respects his wife will not betray her. and the only reason they come back is because their affair did not work out. he may have felt some guilt but not enough to stop what he was doing.

Answer 2

Chances are that if you had a long heart-felt conversation with him you'd get how you were always on his mind, he thought of you and kids, how truly he loves you and that you are the only one for him, how truly sorry he was and how he tried so long to end it, and all they did was talk, only had sex a couple of times, and yada-yada-yada!

Whatever they tell you is an attempt just to save their A$$e$ because they got caught. Had all that been true from the start then they would have thought through the possible consequences and if they so desired would have left the predicament immediately before it turned bad. I know this as my wife done it. Though we are still together it is NOT the same anymore and I trust her about as far as I could throw her and that is tempting sometimes.

YOU have to decide what you are willing to live with. This affair is not going to go away ever. The deed will be in your mind always. Can YOU deal with it? Can YOU deal with continuing to see him everyday? It will get easier over time but the relationship you had before is no more. YOU have to make the decision of how YOU want to live the rest of YOUR life and how to deal with this. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF! THIS WAS HIS DOING!

All the excuses these people give is bull-poop! If they really had a problem with the relationship they are in, then they needed to communicate them, not go sleep with the first good-timing, smiling, playa-mother-phucker they run across. Keep him on a short leash, as unchained dogs will wonder.

Answer 3

When a mistake of that proportion is made, and they Can say they are genuinely sorry for what they have done and then those STUPID word come out of there mouth, she means nothing i love you I'm sooo sorry .
Don't you just want to smack him?
What he did was selfish and wrong and all he was worried about was proving he could still get a girl to show interest in him, that hes still a stud. He satisfied his immediate need and he was wrong. If you forgive then you a very strong woman (to forgive once and do not ever let it happen again) it is obvious that marriage is important to you. At least one of you respects your vows. He needs to be reminded that love and sex should go hand in hand since he is married and if he did not love her then sex was a no no. and if he did love her he han an obligation to inform his wife that there was a problem with his feelings. I'm sorry he hurt you and I hope you will be OK. Try not to be angry with yourself, focus on communicating your anger in such a way that he feels your pain too.

Answer 4

I would think that it depends on his level of satisfaction with your marriage.

If he's lacking an adequate amount of joy from the relationship with you, he then seeks another source of joy to make up the difference.

Though he may feel guilt after his visits, he finds ways to justify them in his mind.

I believe that a woman sets the tone of a relationship. If she's a happy go lucky kind of girl with pep and energy and is lots of fun to be with and takes good care of herself, stays slim and trim and is a good homemaker with domestic skills that she practices on a regular basis and is a good cook, then I would think that a man would be happy with her.

On the other hand there are things that turn us off and just sucks all the joy out of what little bit of a relationship that we have left. Too often, after it's too late, someone decides they need to make a change to improve their marriage. They watch as things get worse over time but take no action until the love is just dead as it can get. Then they want to "blame" the other one for straying. Well, it takes two. Can you stand before God in the end and honestly say, "My lord, I did all I could do"?

Best Wishes

.

Answer 5

well here's one for you. my husband says he supposedly cheated on me, during our 6 month separation and what he did then is non of my business because he was doing nothing wrong. Finally he came to his senses, "hit rock bottom". Thought about me everytime they had sex, did not sleep well for those 6 months, and why because the guilt was eating him alive. The other day while we were, you know he said that I did not deserve all of the terrible things he did and said about me, he truly loves me. But the reason we separated he said was because he wasn't in love with me? His possible/pretend affair has affected me greatly I too could not sleep because I kept hearing him say those horrible things over and over again in my head. I even kept seeing that picture he posted on his daughter's my space account with him and her sitting on our couch with one of our dogs, and "their" dog. Well guess what she and her dog are both gone and all of the sudden the "*****" does not have anything to say anymore.
Call me a sucker but I love my husband because I know he can change and he has, and he keeps telling me that he loves me and that if he was going to cheat he would tell me, well duh did he really have an affair. I dont think so, or sometimes that's what I want to believe. Did she really love him, I dont think so she just got her kicks by torturing me. I too believe that marriage is sacred. His family seems to think that I am in it for the money. I am not I feel as though that I can't be close to them anymore because according to my husband they feel that what he did was acceptable. I don't think they know the whole story.
With the holidays upon us we will see just how acceptable his actions were, because we have to face each of our families together. My husband is the type if he feels like he did nothing wrong then go with the flow but he has already started with things like you can go by yourself, etc.
Your husbands emotions may have been genuine hang in there things will get better

Answer 6

Think it is more the 'thrill' of someone new; someone else who finds them sexually attractive. Mine said the same thing; that he never stopped loving me; that it was for the excitement of the 'forbidden sex'. Yes, they feel guilty but not enough to break it off until found out. Very self-centered when they do this. No sense dwelling on the 'whys' and 'how comes'; it happened and trying to figure it all out will only drive you crazy. Simple truth is they had sex because they wanted to do so.

Answer 7

betrayal or adultery takes two (or three) - a partner that is bored in his relationship, and somebody outside who is willing to do what the bored one wants to do, but not with his partner.

but about the emotions? don't ask me.
I could guess - some would feel guilty because they are betraying or because they love their partner.
some may feel they do the right thing, because they keep their partner AND improve their life.
others don't think and feel at all, they just do.

you should ask your partner. and above all, leave him. you can no longer rely on him to be true.

Answer 8

I'm not going to patronise you here, I've never had an affair and don't really know what emotions are involved if any. I do know, however, that from my two friends who have had affairs; both have said it was just about sex and they felt no emotional attachment.

Answer 9

You know, the same happened to me. My husband cheated on me last year, yet he said he never thought of leaving me (of course!!!) and that he still loves me. So I asked him the same question, what where you feeling when you said to this other woman that you loved her, that you could never forget her, etc etc? Till today, I haven't got a definite answer.

I think its down to nature, we human beings are just like that, although I am not sure I could do that.

Good luck to you!

Answer 10

He never stopped loving you? When did he start loving you? If he really loved you, he wouldn't cheat on you. Chances are that he simply loves what you do for him and that's why he's afraid to lose you. So, either your husband is a fool who doesn't understand the concept of love or he's manipulating you in order to avoid losing whatever it is he gets from you.