he's left me?

Question

husband left 7 weeks ago but only just moved into his own place say he needs time to forgive me for the emotional torment ie taking him for granted not thinking of him when i just went and bought things even if we couldn't afford it. i have realised my faults and he says he is starting to like the person in front of him but not romantically, he gave me his wedding ring back (because i don't want to loose it) and if it gets reused by use great we have a 3yr old boy who misses his dad greatly, he says he doesn't know if he can love me again or wants to but desperately wants a friendfship that we can build on (and then anything can happen) what should I do.

I am trying to accept that its over but it hurts he says he doesn't love me anymore or that he can see at the moment until he can forgive me its a closed book.

I really love him.

Answer 1

Yeah, once a man's mojo is gone it's gone for awhile. Keep hoping but you shouldn't have dissed him.

Answer 2

Making you believe it is your fault for him leaving is crap, he hasn't the balls to face the real truth, that it is he's fault.

My wife buys things we need, even if we go into debt for a little period of time, but I don't mind because it's for the kid's.

I have two boy's 2 years and 1 year, I could never walk away from them, if my wife and I have problems we will sort it out.

By him giving you he's ring back definitely means he isn't thinking about resuming the relationship, he said he needs time, if that's the case he shouldn't have handed back the ring, is he a little boy who can't look after a ring.

I take my marriage seriously, I'm not the perfect guy and my wife and I have arguments but I would never leave her over issues which you thought at the time needed to be addressed, like the well being of the family.

For awhile it will be hard, but you will move on and who knows down the track you might meet someone better, just hope your ex keeps in constant touch with your child, because every child needs a father who will be there, even if you two remain separated.

Answer 3

Marriage involves some level of forgiveness. If he can't forgive you simply over spending, I am not sure he loved you a lot to begin with. I see how he could feel hurt, even angry but to say he no longer loves you??? I think there is more to this whole situation than he is telling you or he is a VERY shallow person. You may really love him but you can only love someone that doesn't love you for so long and then it quits hurting- it just gets old.

Answer 4

Sounds like you need to start all over again. At least it sounds like you two are communicating, which is healthy and important for the welfare of your child, and the fact that you have acknowledged your role in the deterioration of your relationship demonstrates you have the emotional maturity to handle this.

Right now, you need to be the toughest, strongest women you know. Perhaps you do have some character flaws (I know I do) that can sabotage your relationships? Maybe you need to analyse these and perhaps seek counselling?

If he's making you wait for him to forgive you, then you are sacrificing yourself for his satisfaction. This is not okay. It is better to know the truth and be disappointed that to waste years of your precious life on a 'maybe'. You need to commit to being the best person you can be. Even if this change is completely private, you will know, and that can be a great boost to your self esteem. And then you need to tell yourself that you need nobody but you.

Be strong for your child. I know you will make any sacrifice for his welfare. Take pride in that. You will get through this. In time, this will be a moment of great self development, even if you feel like crap right now. Take comfort in the fact that feeling miserable won't last. You will be okay.

Answer 5

Life is too short to be miserable all the time. And that is what is happening to you. You are miserable because he has left. I know it hurts and it will for a while. But think about this. " IS anyone that easily lost, worth you having in your life" Is it worth letting him have that kind of control over you?
It took me a LOT of years to learn that you can not let another person make you miserable. Hold your head up and go on. Don't let him have the satisfaction of knowing how much he has hurt you. That is what he is counting on. Most likely he wants you to continue to "beg" him to return to your marriage.
In time, if the two of you do want to get back together..maybe not just rush into him moving back right away. consider marriage counseling.

Answer 6

okay so he's left... Been gone for 7 weeks.. And he left due to financial problems. Well you're going to have to start over. I know it's hard. And I honestly wish I knew the right words to say here. But I don't. Try to be positive for your son and Put forth a HONEST effort to rebuilding that friendship with your husband. Everyday you're not together is another day that he has to ponder on what went worng. So if it's your husband you want back, you're going to have to fight for him!
Remember "Idle hands are the Devils workshop" Don't allow his hands to be idle for too long.

Answer 7

The best thing I think you can do is tell him you do love him, you are sorry, and just leave him alone. When a girl is mad at a guy him calling her a lot and telling her he is sorry sort of makes her feel a tiny bit better. But for men, I think they really relish that space at the time to clear their heads. The last thing you want to do is appear clingy to where he feels trapped. Just concentrate on being the best mom you can be to your child and let time run it's course.

I hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 8

It's over. Accept it.. Don't believe he is going to come back. The harsh reality is that he's gone..

Now you start leading your life the way you want without him. Try it.. It is not that difficult after some time.

Answer 9

from the way he is talking that man has made up his mind completely.
either that or you are begging too much thats a fact men are like that when u give them the upper hand they step all over you.
change where u can and the rest is up to him but be prepared for whatever decision he makes.
use this time to build yourself.

Answer 10

You know what I like about 3 chord strands...If there are 2 chords broken there is still that 3rd one to hang on to. Without God if you two let go there is nothing there to hang on to and you both fall. Pray. Think.

Answer 11

You may have waited too late to change. i would suggest that you ask him about seeking marriage counseling for the two of you. At least give it a try, especially if you have children.