When I was 15, I was pressured to have sex with my older boyfriend. This resulted in my gorgeous daughter who is now 5 and I couldn't be happier. My daughter has never seen her Dad, he doesn't pay any Child Support, and isn't named on the birth certificate. I have always had the approach of "well, if she asks about him, I'll tell and if not, I won't". I am in a loving stable relationship with my new partner of 2 years and my daughter calls him Dad through her choice.
I was out around town with friend on Friday night and I saw my daughter's dad....dressed as a woman, and not as in a joking way either. He had his hair done, and was wearing horrible woman's clothes, and looked nervous as hell. He looked right at me, and knows I saw him.
Can someone please give me some advice, of what I might possibly say when or if my daughter should ever ask about her real Dad?
2007-11-20 17:22:44 · 7 answers · asked by Little Bear 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Answer her questions honestly
2007-11-20 17:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by Phil McCracken 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if and when the time comes i would tell her the truth about her ex dad,as telling lies(even when u think its for their own good) too often will come back to bite you,realy you have nothing to fear you have been there for her all these years,and the real father to your girl is the man thats been there for her all this time,she may be curious in years to come,but you havent failed her,write it all down in a letter and put it away and if or when she asks,then tell her that you thought this the best way and give the letter to her,if she is half as caring as you are then she will understand,wish you all the best for the future.
2007-11-20 17:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by fozz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those give her only what she asks for. My daughter refers to her natural parent as her sperm donor. I suggest just saying something like "your dad chose not to live with us". If she asks his name, if it is on her birth certificate then it's clear but you could say " I think he's changed his name." My efforts and several others I know of who tried to reunite children with their fathers ended in confusion and frustration for everyone; however, if a child pushes the issue later on, an effort should be made for a meeting just to satisfy the curiosity. Two of my children felt it was important to see their father (disaster) and two had no interest - had accepted my new husband as their father because they felt he is the one who really gave them their values and guidance in life. He is their "real" father.
2007-11-20 17:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by MOVER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's crazy that your ex bf is now dressed as a women but I think you should tell your daughter when she gets alittle older to tell her the truth about her real dad but then it's alos go to not say anything and just move on with life and enjoy being with your daughter =]
2007-11-20 17:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by gone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the truth, be sure not to use any weasel words. Keep the language plain and neutral and don't exercise judgement. Lying will come back and bite you in the butt!
2007-11-20 18:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply say you were very young and immature when you had her; so was he -you were both afraid, drifted away and you just lost touch. when she asks why you didn't or don't try to locate him, tell her you really didn't see eye to eye and it doesn't mean anything, because you have HER! . this is not a lie; it's a kind truth - and you will avoid demeaning your poor ex as well.
2007-11-20 17:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by Andra J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u have to let ur ex know that the daughter existence and ask him not to behave so wildly. if ur daughter wanted to know the truth and the father still continue with that way i suggest tell her straight. coz if u tell her later maybe more problems will crop up.
2007-11-20 17:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by joycelina 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋