Why do I retain anger? How can I make it stop?

Question

Why do I retain anger? How can I make it stop?
My friend made some humiliating jabbing comments on purpose at something I like but she doesn't. In front of other people. It was a couple of hours ago, and I'm still upset about it. It's like she's normal one day, then b.i.tchy again the next, then she's normal again. I just want to stop feeling mad at this... It's so pointless.

Answer 1

I think it's reasonable to feel angry when someone deliberately makes hurtful comments. The reason you retain anger, is from feeling ambushed without protecting yourself. IOW, you get frustrated with yourself so it feels like you're doubly mad at her.

My advice is to prepare for the time she's going to say something nasty, and plan what you're going to do. For example, if she put down something I liked, I would probably just act like I heard nothing; or, maybe say, "Wow," and that's it. This tells her that she is being really mean and your only response is "wow"...i.e., that was harsh. I would also find a reason to "suddenly" have to go somewhere else. This tells her that you will not be around her during her bitchy moods.

Answer 2

Don't give another person the POWER over you to make you angry. Being angry takes an enormous amount of energy -- why let someone take that from you when you could be using that energy in a positive way?

There are times when anger is justified and it spurs you on to change things. But most of the time, as you said, anger is pointless. DON'T let it control you!

Answer 3

I know what you mean. I do the same thing until I blow up. I have started writing my feelings out. We retain anger because we dont want to hurt those around us but sometimes, we have to risk hurting others in order not to hurt ourselves. I have one thing that I am having a very hard time letting go and seems that the only way I will be able to let it go is to confront it head on. Good luck.

Answer 4

why r u going through the interpretation of her. u have ur own choice.

If I like veg food and u like non veg. what ever u say will not affect me I will continue with the veg food, and simillarly u should continue with the non-veg.

If I tell u some thing or u tell me something, we should not change our stand.

simillarly u will come across a lot of people of this kind in ur life, if u get shaky u will be affected, emotionally, and later on physically.
Just thing a dog is barking seeing the Sun, the Sun is not affected, so raise urself self upwards mentally and ignore these stupid remarks who ever makes at u. u run ur life not they.

Answer 5

anger is a difficult emotion to control, you need specialized therapy