Torn between two decisions. Any imput will help.?

Question

Being in the middle of a custody "battle" i am find myself torn in the decision i should make.First i will say that main reason i was attracted to my ex is because he is such a great father, admitting that bring me to this.
We share a son who will be three soon.We both love him dearly and we both want what is best for him.However right now our opinions vary on what is in his best interest.
He says we should shuffle him back and forth,i say no,as i have worked my *** off at establishing a routine for him,as far as taking him to daycare,bedtimes,eating habits etc.I say he should stay with me most of the time as his fathers career his extremely demanding and i know that i will be picking up his slack the majority of the time,and why should i continue to live my life around his.
I want what is best for our son but i am not sure if he is just wanting the equal time to avoid paying child support.He says no but me my child have been struggling money wise to pay basic bils and i need the$

Should i give in to his request or stand my ground?

I so want to just give in because i am so tired of thinking about it.

we were never married and 2 months after the birth of our son he had a vasectomy. He never wanted more children to begin with, i am 28 he is 43.

i also have a 8 year old daughter. I feel as though my children are all i have and to not have one half of the time will destory me

Answer 1

How about the summer swap off? YOu get child for the school, year, dad gets him for the summer

Answer 2

If he's a great father, why would you not want him in his son's life? I know it's difficult but the courts now a days want the father to have as much custody as possible. And face it, his dad is gonna be in your life and your son's forever..well, at least hopefully. If you give you're ex 50/50 custody your child support will be much lower with that one extra day a week. If you retain your son at least 70% of the time, it makes a big difference with the support. Why not let him have your son 1 day during the week and every other weekend. This way you still have the 70% and like I said that makes a big difference with the child support. I don't know if your ex is just thinking about the $$, but if you suspect that stick to the 70/30 cut. This way you still get decent child support and your ex still can father your son the way he should.

Good luck..

Answer 3

The question I would ask is, is Dad close enough (distance wise) to keep the boy in the same day care, and later, school? If so, then joint custody may be in the boy's best interest. He gets to see both his parents equally, and can maintain some routine by not having to change day-care. However if you live many miles apart and it wouldn't be practical, then you do have to find (with both your head and your heart) what would be in YOUR SON'S best interest.
Just think if you do have him part time you may be able to work more hours on those weeks he's not with you, and so improve your financial situation.
Unless you have good reason to believe your Ex wouldn't be a good father (you did say he was one) then equal custody does seem fair, however painful initally.

Answer 4

I would say stand your ground. As having been a kid with divorced parents, I was happier having a single custodial parent rather than the idea of joint custody. But then again, I was closer with one parent than the other.

Anyway, in my opinion, it offers more stability and sense of "home" for the child -- but there are many solutions out there for many different situations, and I'm sure there are those on this board who will disagree.

Answer 5

what's best is for you and the ex to growup and honor the commitment you made under God's words. basically what you are doing is saying one or both made a mistake so let's have our son suffer for our mistake.