Last weekend my husband stayed out til 3am at the local VFW type club that he goes too and after a long night of drinking decided that he'd say yes to giving the bartender a ride home. He's been getting to the point lately where he won't miss a Friday night of going out, no matter how tired he is. He's never asked me once to go there (mainly because we have a 2 yr old who I have to stay home with if he's going out (but it doesn't mean we can't find a sitter) to hang out with him but I've also never asked if I could go either. Lately he's been staying later than normal too. And won't answer his phone, he'll say he didn't hear it or something. Last weekend I surprisingly showed up there to find him leaving at the same time I was pulling up and the bartender was in his car. He told me later that he was asked if he could give her a ride home because her ride had left and he said ok. Should I be concerned? He never given me any reason in the past to not trust him. Am I overreacting?
2007-11-20 15:46:21 · 15 answers · asked by mama158432 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And by the way, he also bartends there on Wednesday nights too. As far as I know, they've never worked together because it's a pretty small place and there's no need for 2 bartenders in one night.
2007-11-20 16:03:11 · update #1
Usually I think people should trust each other in a marriage.
But this sounds very much like you're husband is either having an affair or very close to it.
The baby is also his so he should stay home on Friday night with you.
2007-11-20 15:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First question - what was he doing driving after a long night drinking. Your hubby's behaviour could be concerning though. Maybe you should just organise a sitter and tell him that you are going out with him. You might be surprised. I have young kids (6,2 & 1) so I know that sometimes we get so busy looking after the kids that we tend to forget to give our attention to our men as well. But without firm proof that he is up to something I would be very careful about making accusations cause that could cause alot of hurt that would be difficult to heal.
2007-11-20 23:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your 100% not overreacting. Ask him and tell him you think its shady but it doesnt mean he will tell you the truth. if he hasnt broken your trust before i guess give himthe benefit of the doubt but it doesnt sound innocent to me. Just the fact that you went over there to check up on him you new something was wrong. that gut feeling is a powerful thing. Ive tried ignoring it once for 6 months should have never done that.
2007-11-20 23:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by nygirlsrdifferent 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire a sitter without telling him, then show up at the VFW when he leasts expects it, like at closing time.Make SURE you meet the bartender and let her know he IS married and has a 2 yr old,and if he ever cheated on you, itd be the last mistake he and his mistress ever made.
2007-11-20 23:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Joe F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Probably the bar tender thing was innocent but I would be concerned about your husbands behaviour. What need of his is being met by all this drinking? You will need to sit him down and have a long heart to heart about all of this. Your needs are not being met in any shape or form - maybe marriage councelling is in order.
2007-11-20 23:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMMMM i'd be very concerned if I were you and it seems he is pushing your trust....why doesnt he ask you to join him and why is he even going out till all hours of the night...who does that?.... my husnband would never disrespect me like that, and even though we tryst eachother fully he just would not see it fit to go out with out me especially to a club..... and now your hubby is giving the bargirl a lift home,,,,, hmmm how conveinient also that he doesnt hear his phone..... does he take off his wedding band too!
2007-11-21 00:02:09 · answer #6 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned, as he is getting home really late and I suspect more is going on
2007-11-21 00:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not one who easily says things sounds shady, but him not answering his phone, he wont ask you to go with him and another woman at night in his car? in that case my trust would be pretty much gone.
2007-11-21 00:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by not this way 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be VERY concerned. I am sorry to say it but something not so innocent is up.
2007-11-20 23:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by Tami 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HES PROBABLY CHEATING ...
WHY WOULD YOU LET HIM STAY OUT TILL THAT TIME?
IF MY HUSBAND DID THAT... HE CAN TAKER HIS SH!T W/ HIM TOO... PLUS YOU CAN FIND A BABY SITTER FOR YOUR BABY AND GO W/ HIM .... WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT AND FIND OUT WHAT IS KEEPING HIM OUT SO LATE...........I KNOW I WOULD
2007-11-21 00:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by LEO GIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋