My heart is broken into so many pieces that I have no words how to explain my sorrows??What should I do to get out of this phase?Please help me. Thanks!!! I am married and have two boys but my life is hell with my husband.He is a cheater, abuser,insensitive but I can't leave him because of my boys. I love my husband and my boys but I think my husband doesn't love me. Married for 12 yrs. My boys are 9 &10 yrs old. Help me out????
2007-11-20 14:59:25 · 18 answers · asked by anamika s 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He says that I am lunatic.
2007-11-20 15:12:08 · update #1
it's much worse to stay in this situation and expose your sons to the abusive, disrespectful behavior. even if you think you're hiding it from them, they know. kids see everything, even if you think they don't. you're doing much more harm by staying that you would by leaving. get out - now.
2007-11-20 15:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by hh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you leave? Has he got you so beat down emotionally that you "believe" you can't leave? He has you right where he wants you girl. He keeps you beat down so you won't move forward and at the same time he is living it up. You CAN leave, you CAN pursue a better life. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY... are you sure you really love him or has it turned into a false sense of security and dependency? Ask yourself this ONE question... What do YOU want out of life? Is this the life you will have if you stay with him? Do you want your sons to grow up and treat their wives the same way? try to find a counselor or go to a shelter for advice. GOOD LUCK. You are stronger than you know and you already KNOW the answer of what you need to do... re read what you wrote. You have all the answers sweetheart, he is just keeping you confused. Confusion is a pretty good symptom that something is very wrong.
2007-11-20 23:15:04 · answer #2 · answered by sunnylane_98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "He is a cheater, abuser,insensitive " WHY would you want your boys to have a cheater abuser and insensitive man as a role model? Is THAT what you want them to learn as young men? Is THAT how you want them to treat their girl friends and wives?
If the answer is yes.. then DO stay with this guy. If he won't go for counselling and if he doesn't see that what he is doing is wrong on many levels... then you have a tough choice to make.
2007-11-20 23:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can leave, and your boys will be better off because of it. if you continue to let your boys see how your husband treats you, you could end up with three abusive men in the house. You didn't say how your children behave or react to the situation in your household, but if you leave, at least starting with a separatin, you give yourself and your boys a chance to experience some relief and a chance to clearly think about what to do next. You and your boys deserve a better life.
2007-11-21 00:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will continue to be weak and suffer until u realize that u are a beautiful and valuable woman from within, if u dont believe that urself, no one else will. Be that ideal woman and ask God to help u be strong...Believe that change is possible and ur life right now, is not the best life u deserve, ur boys will learn the reasons later on in life if they cant right now, one thing is to be a mother and another is to be a wife, be a great mother, but no idiot's punching bag, ur better than that!! far better!! and keep asking us for help, we'll give u the support u need, but dont back down, stop being scared and become ur best advocate!!
God Bless
2007-11-20 23:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by ty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is a cheater and abusive you NEED to GET OUT !!! Take your boys and get away from him, or change the locks on the house and call the police if he comes around. You aren't doing your sons any favors by staying and letting them watch their Dad, mistreat their Mother!!! How do you think they are going to treat Their girlfriends, wives, etc...
2007-11-20 23:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would definately leave him, it is completely unjustifiable what he has done. I know that you are looking for the best interests of your sons, but the reality is that they will benefit a lot more if you leave...you cant allow your sons to witness anymore of your marriage falling apart. Plus they are young and they will adjust in a couple of years they will be teenagers and it wont really matter as much because they will be preoccupied with other things. If you leave you will feel more at peace and you will be able to move on with your life...your sons will understand oneday...but for now do what you must. hope that helped.
2007-11-20 23:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that, but here's some useful info and great advice:
Adultery and Infidelity: Why People Cheat
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-why-people-cheat.html
Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html
Should I Stay or Go? Knowing When To End A Relationship
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go.html
2007-11-20 23:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced my husband and had 2 children your age and worked out to be the best thing I did. It wasn't easy in the beginning because i felt tremendous guilt for the kids. I realized too late that you can't change what he does or who he his. if u stay for the kids you will be worse off, they will stay out with their friends whenever possible just so they don't have to see whats going on in your home with your husband. miserable and unhappy parents is worse than divorcing. you girl need peace happiness respect and loved. you deserve it. focus on yourself & your kids. Trust me he won't and can't change. sorry, but it's true.
No one should be treated badly, it will affect your health and your kids. They want to see a happy mom. I don't regret my decission,it's the best thing i ever did for my sanity and for my boys. get rid of him honey! let me know what happens. Good luck.
2007-11-20 23:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by the J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry! Girl i have been in your situation but without kids. I kinda know what your going through.Its not for everyone but i became good friends with a guy at work who ended up fallin for me i moved in with him and left my ex. We were just good friends for awhile til i ended up fallin for him. When my ex threatened me my new friend beat the s*** out of him and i haven't heard of him for 5 years. I hope you find the happiness i have. That good friend has been my husband and my everything for 5 years.
2007-11-20 23:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept the fact that only you can help yourself. This is your life, and your problems, You need to take the steps and put forth the effort to change your life. Nobody but you is responsible for your happiness.
You can do it. Millions of women like you have suffered and learned how to better their lives.
I will pray for you.
2007-11-20 23:07:47 · answer #11 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋