Why don't some people respect my right to NOT have sex?

Question

It seems like women's rights have come so far in this era, but have backtracked as well.

What I mean is, when I tell people I want to be a Nun, about 50% of people start getting into my personal business by urging me to 'go have sex' or 'get married' or 'have kids'!

I thought being a woman meant more than just what I do with my sex organs!

I'd like to note that I don't tell other women what to do with their bodies. As a friend or family I might give welcome advice, but I don't invade other people's business when not invited to do so.

Answer 1

Smile at them and silently bless them, which they need, because they can't possibly know the joy you will.

Tell them you're not running away from anything, you're walking towards something bigger than a secular life can offer. If they continue to nag you to have sex, tell them to have your share for you.

Answer 2

Being a women is more than just what you do with your sex organs, but many people do not get that yet. To many people, family is still the end-all. Not just towards women, but certainly more so. I'm sure many young men entering the priesthood are getting the same talk from their friends.

I agree with Baba that you can only stress that you feel the life you are called to may be different, but equally as important and rewarding.

Answer 3

Welcome to the human race, where people have language skills and the unfortunate propensity to think that they are an authority on how everyone should live their lives. You should know that most people get these ideas from church, where it is pounded into their heads that there is a right way to live and a wrong way to live. What exactly those ways are is never quite cemented in their heads, however, so they take it upon themselves to fill in the gaps left by an otherwise unsatisfying religious existence. That's what you call irony right there.

Answer 4

It must really get upsetting when others do this. Getting unasked for advice or criticism is never fun, especially when you really don't want it. But consider that some may really think they are helping you. I know it's patronizing for others to assume that you don't know what you're getting yourself into. Just let them know that you do, and "thanks but no thanks" to the advice or concerns. (Quickest way to end the discussion!) Your pursuit is different than most, and some will speculate on why you chose your path. You don't owe everyone else an "explanation." It's your business. People will be naturally curious how you came to decide that this is what you want to do with your life. Few choose the path you are taking. It's bound to create curiousity. If I were you, I wouldn't discuss it with people with whom you are not comfortable having such discussions with.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Interesting that you are even asking the question. I think you are putting a criticism of others in question form. As a woman you have the privilege of having sex or not having sex. You also have the privilege of procreating or not. If others are criticizing your choice of becoming a nun, be glad this is the harshest criticism you have received because quite frankly marrying God is going to get a lot tougher. Remember it is a sacrifice. You will not be of this world anymore. You will be hated and despised for it by the world. God has called you out of it and quite frankly you are looking at possibly dieing for the sake of your faith.

Answer 6

One of the few aspects of modern-day feminism that I dislike, the association with freedom and sex, non-marriage, dominance (versus submission) or opposing any form of traditionalism.
Among many things, freedom is about one consciously choosing to do as one pleases with one's body and life.
I have a friend who is deeply religious and as you, considered becoming a nun, we don't agree in quite a few matters, yet we approach her beliefs and my disbelief with a sense of humour, even making fun of each other at times. I appreciate my religious friends who are confident enough of themselves and their views to be receptive towards others' opinions and laugh with them, and even of themselves, so will take advantage of this to tell you that I think it's refreshing to come across people with religious beliefs, as yourself, who do not impose nor attempt to invade the privacy of others.
About the criticism you've recieved for being abstinent, I'd say the same as what I tell my friends who are sexually active and judged for it... whatever issues someone else has of your choice is THEIR problem, not yours. This is the world we live in, everyone has different perceptions of "morality" and life in general, so, we shall all be faced with opposition or offense, that is expected, do not allow for biased judgements to discourage you on your path towards personal fulfillment, which I have a feeling that you don't. :-)
I wish you the best, whether or not you decide to become a nun.

Answer 7

It's SO funny all the "just ignore them" advice from this lot, who will go on for HOURS about how unfair and unjust social condemnation and social pressure are in other areas, e.g. pressure against single mothers, pressure against promiscuity!

Just ignore them!

I'm going to remember that next time the whole "double-standard" rant comes up!

EDIT

Ignoring them is all that you CAN do of course, but that doesn't answer your question.

The answer is that modern popular and ideological "morality" is concerned only with what is "healthy" according to the ideologically-driven pseudo-science of psychology. "Sexual repression" is deemed "unhealthy", but sexual indulgence is "sexually liberated".

At the same time, those with somewhat traditional values have still incorporated the message of "personal fulfillment", so even when they promote marriage and parenthood, they do so under the principle of pursuing personal happiness (and they assume others must do the same as them to be "happy"), rather than from any kind of genuinely ethical concern.

The only ethics people care about are that it it's wrong to be intolerant, it's wrong to be judgmental, it's wrong to be hypocritical, and it's wrong to have double-standards...

But the fact is they don't even oppose being judgmental or intolerant and they are hypocrites themselves when it comes to the freedom NOT to indulge.

May God bless you.

Answer 8

It's just that some people are so obsessed with sex that they can't imagine that there are others who are perfectly happy being celibate and can live without sex for the rest of their lives. I know this will be offensive to some people but I actually pity those who are obsessed with sex. They waste so much time and energy in pursuit of something they probably won't get or if they do, it won't satisfy them.

Answer 9

because our culture has become one of sex, and flinging bodies at one another as one to express "love". but i applaud your decision to become a nun. that is great... i dont want to have sex until im married, & i come from a highschool where there are at least 50 pregnancies a year. but people dont respect your right to choose NOT to have sex because its not "culturally acceptable" although when guys have sex it makes them "great & a role model" but when girls have sex they are "sluts & whores..." our culture is just full of double standards. tell the medling people that you thank them for their input, but are going to stick with your ideals because thats what you believe in, & what you want.

Answer 10

They just don't want to see you give up on your life (in their eyes, not mine). THey may feel that you would make a great mother or wife and want you to have a family of your own.
I hope you find the habit fulfilling and do God's Will. That is what it is about. GOD. Not others.
God Bless!