My girl's best friend died from a car accident.
When she heard the news, she quickly called me up and we rushed to the hospital.
but it was too late, her friend had passed away before we got there.
My girl has totally lost control and cried a river.
I've never seen her so upset being together with her for almost two years now. They had been good friends for 10 years! I understand her pain. I want to help her but I don't know what to do. She hasn't spoken a lot since then. She can't stop crying. She told me she felt the pain like her heart really hurt. She told me she couldn't imagine her days would be like without her friend.
She made me cry. I don't want to see her upset. I really don't know what I can do to cheer her up. I think she has cried all her tears out. I wonder if there's any tear left to cry.
She didn't want to eat and didn't want to do anything. She even cries in her sleep.
Oh God! This is killing me! This hurts me so badly.
She always is a strong girl. She’s optimistic and cheerful, but now she seems very emotionally unstable. Can anyone tell me as a boyfriend of hers, what else I can do to help her make it through? No matter what, I’m always be there with her getting through this hard time.
Sags, tell me!
2007-11-20 14:57:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Horoscopes
I'm not a Sag, but I know what it's like to see a Sag fall apart. My mom is a Sag, and my dad, her husband, died in August, very suddenly of a heart attack. Never in my life did I see my mom become unglued like she did. Sags are normally happy-go-lucky people, so they are really out of their element (as well as those around them) when something like this hits them so hard. In reality, there's not much you can do but make her life easier for her. If she wants to be alone, leave her alone. It was hard for me to leave my mom alone, since I was so concerned for her, but I knew that if I didn't leave her alone as she wanted, she'd get even more upset. I think when things like this happen, Sags need some alone time to really feel through their sorrow. Eventually, she'll open up again and will want to talk to you. Sometimes, she'll want to have happy times and memories with you (one of the things my mom did was buy tickets to shows and last week we saw an opera together). Sometimes, she's gonna want to talk and cry with you. Just be there for her. Listen to her and care for her. And Sags are blunt. Even in pain, they'll tell you what they want and need, so do as she asks. If she needs you, she'll definitely let you know (and she'll probably need you sooner than you think). You can't fix the situation or take away her pain, but you can be there for her and be the caring boyfriend you are. Just keep doing that, and she'll be so grateful. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.
2007-11-20 15:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just be her strong shoulder to cry on. there is nothing anyone can do. She'll probably need some grief counselling.
. We all want to live forever, but in reality, can we count on another day? The days of our lives are numbered. We don't know what that number is, but certainly there is no guarantee that we will live through another day.
What would you do with your life if you did know the day that you were going to die? Let's just say that you knew that you last day of life would be December 24, 2010? If you could do anything that you wanted - as long as it wasn't harmful to anyone else, what would you do? Travel, spend all your money, fall in love? Would you help others? Perhaps you would want to make your life right - you know, get all the negatives out and get right with God. It gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it?
The truth of the matter is that we really don't know how many days we have. Doing the things that we hope to do, or want to do, will take time, so what are we waiting for? The time to start living right and enjoying life is right now!
2007-11-20 15:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by stockwomanmich 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's just awful, hun. I'm so, so sorry, though I know these words really won't do anything to make you feel any better. Before I start, I want to tell you that I'm an atheist, and have been since I was ten. I don't believe in a divine being because it's just silly to. Humans created religion thousands of years ago to explain the world around them; the reason that religion has lasted this long is because people still need it. The biggest fear in the world is of dying or having someone you love die, and religion makes that fear diminish just a bit. And if you can take comfort in your religion, then go ahead. But I would advise you to let go of your religion. The added stress of your internal struggle about your religion is not helping you nor anyone else cope with what happened, and the sooner you let go of that stress the better. This accident was just that: an accident. There was no reason for your friends to have died. None at all. But they did. And you have to accept that it happened. My sincere condolences.
2016-05-24 09:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a great partner to care enough to ask for help ... I know what it feels like to lose someone dear. When I lost my mother I could not stop crying for almost a month before I knew I had to seek a professionals help.
I do not know how long your girlfriend has been suffering with this lose, but pay close attention to her body language. She could actually develop a much more serious problem that could disable her everyday way of life.
I'm no doctor, but I know in such a situation you will also share her pain and it is important that you ALWAYS stay sincere, and understanding. If your girlfriend is still grieving after a months time I think you should encourage her to speak to someone. There's no shame in admitting you can't handle it all on your own. I thinks it's also important to emphasize that this type of grievance causes stress that is harmful to her health.
I hope this helps in some way, be thankful you have each other for the holidays. I will be praying for the both of you.
2007-11-20 15:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her on a nature trip! Those always help, or just change the setting. There talk to her about the situation. Let her know that she must become a stronger person and instead of crying over the past, she must accept it to move on. Tell her that her friend probably doesn't want her ruining her life over it.
If you can't do that...give her chocolate and lots. Give her random kisses and hugs. Let her know you're there for her. Make her laugh.
ALWAYS APPEAR CALM!
After sometime show that you are over the whole thing-maybe she'll follow suit. If not see a professional, it might be beyond your power to help her.
2007-11-20 15:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by lightway1017 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am a sag and went througha similar experience with my nana i didnt lose her in a car accident but it was still a lost the only thing i can suggest is just be there for her keep and eye onher but dont smother her she needs to go through this greif it not something you can put a time span on because everyone is different.
as much as this hurts you to see your girlfriends going through this pain it is good in a way because she is letting it all out ans not bottling it in.
another thing to with the funeral (if it hasnt already been) it will be her chance to say goodbye and maybe after that she will be on the mend losing someone so close to you can take a long time to heal i mean it been 20 years since my nana passed and it still hurts.
i hope this helps mate just be strong for her it all you can do really if you get really worried then ring a helpline or talk to her parents or someone to help get professional help only as a last resort though.
hang in there.
Sonya
2007-11-20 15:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by sonyacoyle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sag girls are very strong, therefore, when we do experience pain and sorrow, the heart must have been hit real hard to set us back like that..........When we hurt, we hurt deeply, but it doesn't mean that we can't overcome it with time. Your constant support, understanding, patience and guidance will eventually help see her through this rough period in her life. Perhaps you can show her how she used to enjoy things. Let her know that her best friend would not have wanted her to grieve this way. She must celebrate her best friend's memory by maintaining her own strength and living life to the fullest. Do allow her that time to process her loss. I know it hurts you to see her in such agony, but she needs to grieve in her own way. Don't give up on her. She needs you more now than ever before..........Once she's back to herself again, she will realize the kind of love you have for her.........Don't worry, Sags are able to return from anything......
2007-11-20 16:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by artutina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear that, hun. ='(
There's nothing much you can do but to be there for her. I'm a Sag and although I've never lost my friends but reading this, I can constantly relate to her feelings of such a miserable pain losing someone she loves. 10 years of friendship. It's such a precious.
Be patient and don't rush her. Let her grief and when she's ok, she'll be ok.
Just listen
Be there for her, encourage group activities with your best friend, she and some of her friends to distract her.
When you lose someone that close to you, they are on your mind constantly for quite some time, although there isn’t much you can do but deep down she knows that you care and it's all it matters! She’ll be so thankful that she has such a loving boyfriend to help her out and be with her going through hard times.
Eventually, things will be better.
Give her your full support.
Good luck, hun!
2007-11-20 15:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by #1 Girl -She's Bittersweet- 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it happened recently,so Ive found that telling the person grieving that your there if and when they want to talkmeans a lot. Just sitting by there side or holding themis worth a thousand words. Give her time. If she needs more help you may suggest agrief consilor.Are a program for both of you.Agroup of people who have been there. As far as cheering her up that will come in time.
2007-11-20 15:15:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing that may help is to go to memory-of.com and she can establish a memorial to her friend and that alone may help her handle this. a friend lost his wife and this is what he did to handle the pain of losing someone he loved. I will give you a link to that and you can look it over. The memorial is free for a period of time but for less than $100 it can be a perpetual memory and will always be there. It is hard to lose a friend or loved one and not have a chance to say goodbye but this is a way of doing that and establishing a memorial for that person. You sound like a good person to be there for her through this and I applaud you for that.
2007-11-20 15:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋