2007-11-20 14:54:09 · 6 answers · asked by GEORGE S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm assuming your daughter is in her teen years between the ages of 13 and 17. I'm assuming she has had trouble in her life on a fairly consistent basis. I'm assuming alot. Not too many details were given as to your / her situation.
To be honest, here's some basics that I hope will help.
1. Seek family help immediately from a licensed person, or seek family pastoral care if you are active in a faith practice.
2. Be supportive, listen instead of talking. Give lots of praise to her for the good she has in her without hinting around at the negatives.
3. She knows you are worried, she likely knows you care. Don't push her or she may freeze up. Though pushing can give the desired effect, it usually doesn't come without alot of power struggles and family fights.
4. Draw her near to you by genuine affection in the context of making her the most important priority. I'm sure you have a career, you have bills to pay, but...find those things that can be put on the lower priority list / status, and will not in any reality cause your career harm. The more time you spend with her, the more she will talk.
5. Start talking to her teachers. ALL of them. Find out what is happening in the classroom. If the home is fine, then chances exist something at school is making her miserable. It could be something so simple that you missed it.
6. Do NOT blame her for the way she feels, but DO hold her accountable within reason. Set limits on how she may freely express herself without resorting to negative attention seeking behavior. When you do this, be sure not to criticize her for her thoughts / feelings...she has a right to them however unrealistic or skewed. Her thoughts / feelings / opinions might just be valid and quite organized.
7. Excersize parental control by age appropriate re-direction, rather than police type control tactics. The "i'm your parent and you'll do as I say or else" will just instigate further episodes. This is NOT in her best interest. Also stay away from the "Do as I say not as I do" deal.
8. Get he rinvolved in peer support activities after school where you know she'll be safe. Initiate a "check in" routine that she must follow. Be clear about what the consequences will be. Consequences for her actions must be realistic and measurable as well as in proportion to her "crime".
9. MOST IMPORTANTLY.....Be there!
2007-11-20 15:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't like her new school because she is new to it, and she hasn't made any friends yet. Tell her if she keeps running away, the courts will put her in Juvenal hall until she is 18. Because in a lot of states, they will do that. Ask her to at least try and give the school a chance. Explain to her why you needed to make the move, and that it is hard on you to. That it would be a big help if she would at least try it. But arguing only hurts the situation, not help it. It makes them more rebellious, if you just say, do what I say, and don't try to explain why they should. She might understand more, if you gave her reasons for why you made the move.
2007-11-20 15:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by jenx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with one of the answers above. Maybe you should take her to see a therapist. She has to learn (before it gets ingrained as a bad habit as an adult) that running away won't solve her problems.
But maybe that's the last step if you can't mutually work out an agreement between you two, a compromise. As someone else said, try allowing her to do something she'd enjoy in return for staying in school.
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2007-11-20 15:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by mika*mika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 16 and use to do the same thing. what my mom did was she asked me soemthign i woudl love to do in exchange for going to the new school, so i told her i would love to dance so since then i go to dance every week seh took me shopping herself and when i talk to her about my classes she gets really interested sure i didn't like the school but waht i hated more was that my mom didn't seem to realize that her moving effected me too waht i advice is ask her about a activity she mightlike to do in exchange and then try to get interested with ehr just listen. and threats. don't help people trust me
2007-11-20 15:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try another school, and tell her if she runs away again, she is going to juvenile hall and then you will know where she is at until she is 18.
2007-11-20 14:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her a**, or let her really see how life is like out there on her own.
2007-11-20 15:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her into therapy/counseling. if she won't go, you go.
2007-11-20 14:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋