who eventually told you "they were not happy", "loved you but was not in love with you", "believed you were best friends but could not be husband/wife anymore", etc, etc. How did you deal with it and eventually let go and move on? How did you deal with it if you had kids and had to deal with this person on a regular basis? How did you deal with it if they ended up leaving for another person?
2007-11-20 14:45:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband's ex-wife did this to him. She ended up leaving and he is better off. She probably is too.
I don't think that's a valid reason to leave a marriage, though. Marriage is not about feelings like you described above. It's about commitment.
2007-11-20 14:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by KC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just deal with it, and move on, don't waste another day pining over him, it doesn't help you or your kids, get out more often, hang out with your female friends if your not ready for a new relationship yet, but don't sit at home all the time, day dreaming about him, because when you do see him he will see the pain in your face, and he will feel that he has won some kind of war, and he will gloat over this, let him see a happy face, then he will wonder what you have been up to, but just tell him you have found a new interest, and leave it at that.
2007-11-20 22:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I've had more than one great love. And yes, I had a husband tell me he wasn't happy anymore. A divorce is an awful thing to go through. I had two children,. 10 and 11, and for a year he had visitation every other weekend. It wasn't hard to deal with him because I had them ready to go and it was quick and fairly painless. After that he didn't see them or pay child support ever again. I think there is a period of grief, whether you were the one wanting the divorce or the one who was left. It is normal to grieve the failure of the relationship if nothing else. It takes a lot of time and determination to finally get on with life. I was so busy with my children and my job that luckily I didn't have much time to feel sorry for myself. I just took one day at a time, and after six months, I began to see a few rays of sunlight. But I can attest there is life after divorce and I have had many happy years since then.
2007-11-20 22:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who this happened to.
All you can do - is to deal with all things, the best you can. You have no other choice.
It will hurt for a long time. You may have to swallow your pride so many times .. but kids are involved .. so being involved with the other parent is inevitable.
The "other person" she left with will be there, too .. so if you can .. just let it go. The bottom-line is that she is with him .. she wants to be with him .. and she has made her choice. I know that breaks your heart .. it's cruel .. and not fair .. but it seems those are the cards she has dealt you.
Give yourself time to mourn her .. and the situation.
Then .. start putting yourself & your life back together again .. in order to move forward with your life. Throw away all mementous. Make yourself not dwell on it. Don't even allow yourself to think on it. Make new friends. Get new hobbies. Be determined to go forward.
The best revenge .. is living well & happy.
TIME .. is know to be the healer of all things. So give your self time. Time will put all things in a better perspective for you.
The wound is probably fresh & new .. but it will hurt for a long time .. just know this ... and .. things may get worse, before they get better ... however, the sun will shine in your life again, one day.
Think positive. You've got a new fresh world waiting on you .. and you can make it what you want.
Just try with everything in you - to get over the dirty deeds done to you. Don't allow yourself to wallow in them .. get a wonderful new life for yourself. Who knows ... in the long run .. you might get something better.
2007-11-20 23:03:32 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. Just don't do what my husband did. She left him for another man. He and I did not meet until after-wards. Took him 35 years to figure out that I was not her, and would not do the same thing. In other words, it took him 35 years to stop punishing me for what she did. But I had had the same experience; been left for another woman. Second one never, ever had to pay First ones dues. Love happens. Being in love takes a lot of work. Obviously she/he was not willing to work at it.
2007-11-20 22:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by Little Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of questions in here but I think the last one is the one you are seeking the most.
You will take some time to morn your loss. It will hurt for a while , but time heals all wounds. You have to pick your self up, surround yourself with people who love you .
Then spend some time alone with yourself. Learn who you are all over again and learn to love who you see in the mirror.
2007-11-20 23:00:05 · answer #6 · answered by purplewaterhorse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I trully have loved someone. I met him when I was 50. I divorced my husband who I thought I loved more than life itself, but when I found out he was cheating on me, I couldnt stay. He didnt tell me he didnt love me, he wanted us to stay married, but I was hurt nevertheless. Ten years down the track I met this man who I really do love and he loves me. I havent experienced what it would be like for a man to tell me he didnt want to be with me anymore, and I could only imagine. If my current partner told me that, I would be totally devestated. I would feel totally betrayed. I really wouldnt know what to do. Its horrible still loving someone and not being with them. I hope this never happens to me. Ive been through one massive hurt in my life, I dont want to go through another. I guess the strength I gained from divorcing my husband would see me through.....I just prefer that I dont have to experience it ever again.
2007-11-20 22:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex wife told me it was over by me coming home to find her in bed with someone else.I merely walked back to the car (as she didnt know i was in the house ) and grabbed the 357 walked up behind her as she was ridsing him and told him and her to leave when they went for teir cloths i told them u were in my house naked now u can be outside the same way.Did i love her i though i did but im remarried now and know that in my heart i never loved my ex
2007-11-20 22:54:07 · answer #8 · answered by wolfettes lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It tears you apart but you keep on living. You have to decide to let it go and move on. No matter how hard it seems there is life after divorce. Even happiness...it just takes time.
2007-11-20 22:59:39 · answer #9 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you been reading my mail lol. had a hard time dealing with it, still trying to deal with it. i sure cant be best of friends, tried that and nearly lost it( my mind). he says he still loves me but hes in love with someone else. they been together about 18 months now. i dont talk to him but he tells these things to my son,(, my son is 39. his step son)after trying to be friends i asked him not to contact me, just leave me alone. he left me for someone else, (his loss). what goes around, comes around, or as the indians say comes full circle. try to take one day at a time. good luck.
2007-11-20 23:02:33 · answer #10 · answered by Fran M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋