i found my fiance lookin at porn.....is it right or wrong?

Answer 1

What type of porn was it? If it was gay porn, then yeah. That's wrong.

Answer 2

It depends on the individual. Most men that look at porn do it simply for eye candy, and for tips and tricks to apply in the sack. Is that wrong? Not to the guy, no. If he was on a website that gave sexual advice, would it be different?
Women seem so threatened by porn, like a guy is going to see a really pretty woman and dump you or something. Porn is just acting, and really bad acting, at that. And not all the woman are even attractive. If porn is simply used as a tool, I would suggest that it may help keep the bedroom new. Staleness, or boredom, in the sack is one of the most common problems in a marriage. Why not use the tools that are available to assist? In fact, the two of you should be looking at it together. It is a bonding/instructive thing to do, and is quite fun. My wife loves to laugh at the fake stuff, or go ewww at the gross stuff. And once in a while she goes oooh, that would be fun! So to answer you, right or wrong is in how you handle the situation. Make it a positive experience, and you both will be the better for it.

Answer 3

I think this is not a simple right or wrong answer. There are many things to take into consideration, such as what do you define as "porn?"; the circumstances where you found your fiance' and what both of you think of the material in question.

My personal opinion is that the only things I consider pornographic are rape and bestiality. Anything below that, I don't consider porn. There are some types of material that I personally find offensive, but that is not the same thing as saying it is pornographic.

To me, one of the first things you should do is talk to your fiance' about the "porn" he was viewing. Ask him why he has it, what it means to him and does he think it is "porn." You should also examine and explore with him the reasons why you feel it is "porn." Hopefully, you both will come to understand each other's position and find a way to deal with the situation. Understand this also; if you tell him to not view this "porn" again, he will become angry and resentful to you which will cause other problems. Start off by talking with him as I suggested above. Good luck to you in this situation.

Answer 4

If you marry him without resolving this, you will be miserable two or three years down the road. If you are uncomfortable with porn, that should be all that it takes...a NO vote carries, in a case like this. Do you ever watch shows like Dr. Phil or Oprah on this subject? If so, have you EVER seen a wife who was happy that her husband, in essence, is saying...sorry babe, you just aren't enough for me...? A man who gets his satisfaction from watching other people having sex is not a real good bet, not to mention the money it can cost. So if you marry him anyway, just have your tubes tied....don't bring children into this. Accept whatever level of misery you want, but know that your kids will suffer if mom and dad are split over the issue of porn. Pornography is degrading...be better than this.

Answer 5

I think if you are going to be engaging in the longest of long term relationships with this man, it would be disturbing to have discovered this aspect of his life so late on.

I think you have to evaluate how you feel about porn first.

There is a lot of research that shows that men are hotwired in a way that looking at a pretty girl gives a physiological reward in the 'pleasure centre' of their brain, a man looking at porn is mostly natural and healthy- but in some rare circumstances some men become addicted to the reward they get from porn and it can be damaging. However you should not feel that porn is cheating on you, pornography is done to satisfy a carnal and physiological desire for a physical reward, it can also be used to satiate sexual desires that people have but are not willing to bring to fruition because it would destroy their relationships that they value. Porn has nothing to do with love, it has nothing to do with social interaction

But in the end, it is about how you feel about it- whether you feel that porn is moral or immoral, it depends on your spiritual beliefs and your expectations. If you can't handle that your man might occasionally look at porn, then you have to end it, otherwise you have to encourage honesty in your relationship and a respect of each others needs and desires.

Little lies kill relationships all the time, don't let them kill yours!

Answer 6

Look, I don't know the details, but here is my opinion. Porn can be addictive. All men are attracted to it in some way. Yes, he is wrong for looking at it. But try and sympathize a bit. He doesn't do it because he doesnt find you attractive or because he is feeling deprived. Find out how long it's been going on. He might need help. Hope it works out.

Answer 7

Depends on if you are into looking at it.
I think it is humiliating to the woman and the wrong thing to do. Better you know now, right?
Why is he going there? Better resolve it now or keep an eye on his activity... Who knows, maybe there is more that he does that you have no clue about.
If it were me? I would monitor his computer with spy ware and watch where he goes and the time he does it. So what if it is wrong! They sell spy ware on line and you just download it and run it through his computer and you can see what, when, and then some... At least you know if he is going to be faithful or not. Who wants someone lusting after someone else? Whether it is online or not? Your choice!

Answer 8

Ya know ..this porn stuff is so sad..guys get addicted to this stuff now days..it's too common. Porn is NOT making love or just having a romp in the hay. I've watched porn before and it is not what sex is about ../..but they watch it thinking they will try it on there gf or wives..yuk...not attractive at all to me..I would have a hard time dating or marry someone who watches porn..guys like that are never satisfied with just one women goes hand in hand.

Answer 9

You need to find out if he is a sex addict, pervert because if he is you are in for a rocky life full of lies, denial, twisting the truth, possible escalation of the problem and moving from porn to prostitutes or girl friends. You need to get to the bottom of this and find out how often he does it. Dont think a marriage proposal safe guards you against a perverted person... marriage is a good cover up for sexual problems and makes the man "appear" to be a normal family man. Your man might be a very normal man but I would be checking out his computer, his porn stash and activities and take your time before you say I do. Good luck

Answer 10

Porn can be hurtful...don't let all these ignorant guys on YA tell you it is a guy thing and that all guys look at it....because that is not the truth...If a man respects you and your feelings regarding porn...he will refrain from looking at it..

I would nip this in the bud now...or you are going to have some serious problems in your marriage...Just look up the questions that are asked about porn...then you ask yourself if you think it is wrong? If porn is so harmless and not hurtful...then why are some relationships destroyed by porn? Many men become addicted to it...and it has been reported that there are more women becoming addicted....doesn't surprise me.....judging by the women here on YA that see nothing wrong with it....LOL I couldn't care less about all the thumbs down I get....I simply say how I feel...

Answer 11

There is nothing wrong w/ porn. A body is a work of art!
You should talk to him about this. I'm assuming that you don't like porn. Are you pleasing him enough? Or he may be just getting bored with the way you two have sex. Change positions frequently, use sex toys, or you may even want to make a porn video of yall!