Last spring, I hooked up with my friend's guy friend, a 35-yr-old prison psychologist with a nice trim body and natural blonde hair. Then I find out today that he is MARRIED with 3 kids and just recently filed for a divorce! =-O Uh-oh! (dumb $lut told me he was single, too) Before today, my friend wasn't aware that I'd hooked up with his psychologist friend. He indirectly blamed me for the divorce!(even though I haven't talked to this psychologist in recent months, and it was just a fun lil' fling I had after dumping some loser) Meanwhile, I tend to think that if he cheated with me so easily, he probably did it before and after...therefore the divorce blame lies more on his fault than mine.
So my question is...what do you think? Do most cheaters cheat more than once? Surely any divorce is probably due to a string of cheatings, or else perhaps they had marital problems prior to me meeting him, right? Just curious.
I really need to be more discrete with guys I meet :D
2007-11-20 14:23:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Heather -- I agree. It's not my fault that "J" is a stupid ho.
The ironic part is...when I was hanging with him, I was telling him about a loser boyfriend that I'd recently dumped because he was cheating. I was on the rebound and looking to have fun! And here he was, cheating too LOL.
Fortunately I'm not the type of girl that gets attached to guys...I have the same dating mindset as the typical guy and I tend to focus primarily on sexual flings, not relationships...so no hurt feelings here. But I feel bad for his wife and family though. And I'm starting to wonder exactly how many of my "friends with benefits" were cheating when they had fun with me. It just makes me want to roll my eyes, shake my head, and think of them as foolish haha.
2007-11-20 14:33:42 · update #1
To 80s Rule: LOL how ironic you say that, considering that this married guy IS a psychologist! Hahaha.
2007-11-20 14:59:28 · update #2
1. Divorces are not always because of cheating.
2. If the individual cheated with you and lied to you about being married, then this individual will probably cheat on you and anyone else he goes out with let alone marry.
3. I have known many individuals - male & female who have cheated and most have not again. However, it is in my experience with friends that the lady will cheat again before the guy will as he is usually the one that realizes he screwed up the 1st time and will not do it again.
4. Take this answer and $1.25 and go buy a soda, because it is all guess work in the end as each individual and experience is different.
2007-11-20 14:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by fred f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your absolutely right. Most cheaters have been cheaters for a while. i mean it is true that they all have to have a FIRST person that they cheat with but then even if you were his FIRST person he cheated with if that's all it takes for someone to file for divorce they were mentally already divorced right? i wouldn't think your to blame for this at all. How could you have known since he told you he wasn't married? Well, wait...i don't know that he told you he wasn't married but he DIDN'T tell you that he was so the same thing really. Your not to blame is my whole point lol. Rambling on here a bit lol.
2007-11-20 14:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many reasons for divorce, but cheating is certainly one of them. You shouldn't feel guilty, though, since you didn't know the guy was married. You were not responsible for the breakup.
However, I agree that you should be careful, especially with known cheaters. They're probably the ones who carry STD's along with their guilty consciences. The best plan is not to have unprotected sex with them.
2007-11-20 14:39:23 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the guys who are natural born cheaters just cheat whether or not their is something wrong in the relationship or not. These guys cheat just to get the punani and the thrill of something new/different. These are immature babies who get validation by each conquest, thats it.
Guys who arent at born cheaters cheat because something is lacking in ther marriage/relationship
Either way no one forces them to stick thier sticks in a hole other than their official woman, and they are the real blame..Anyone else that comes into tah pic is just a victim or pawn in the situation.
2007-11-20 14:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by lookinfortruth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His divorce had nothing to do with you. He likely did cheat more than once, but the divorce had nothing to do with that, either.
Many marriages stay intact after infidelity. The divorce happened because he and/or his wife decided that they weren't compatible.
Yes, chances are that they did have problems before he met you.
2007-11-20 14:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey this was not your fault at all. dont let your friend try and tell you otherwise. that guy was a liar and yes...he probably cheated before and after you. you had nothing to do with his divorce. hopefully his wife wised up to his antics and that is why he is getting divorced.
2007-11-20 14:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this jerk's divorce was not your fault since you didn't know he was married, it was a one-time deal, and you haven't spoken to him since. he ruined his marriage, not a one-night stand.
however, you make a valid point when you say you wonder about all the other guys you've been with. you definitely need to be more careful and much more selective.
2007-11-20 15:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by hh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he takes his relationships as seriously as you do. If you look for a casual hookup you will find guys like this. No disrespect intended just an observation.
2007-11-20 14:51:45 · answer #8 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're calling him a sl*ut and a hoe, yet YOU are the one who is sleeping with these guys. you have problems, but i don't recommend a therapist. you'll probably end up f*cking them too.
2007-11-20 14:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋