which version of my poem is better?

Question

just curious to see which one you guys like more
2 different and yet the same versions


1. here's the first:

Early, eager, excited snowflake
Released, free from your frosted fortress
A droplet of fresh, cool water frozen in time
No past, no future, one goal in mind
Sparkling,
Twirling,
Dancing down, down
To your goal, you doom
As greedy Green Earth greets you warmly

2. here's the second:

Early snowflake, released from the top

A droplet of fresh, cool water, frozen in time, with one goal on your mind

Sparkiling, twirling, dancing through the air

Down, down, closer

Graceful and Kind on your own

Icy and cruel with your kin, like a child caving into peer pressure

Reaching Green Earth

Only to sink deep into its skin, atmosphere, sky

And start all over again

Answer 1

i think they both are really good~!!! but if i had to choose id choose number 2 its really good lol

Answer 2

How a pair of blend of the two? Spawning hate rips at my soul. One a million/2 rebukes you, the different cries for you interior the black of night. someplace a propose is hidden, In a tangled internet of broken veins. supply it time to heal, i'm going to discover it. Gushing forth my emotions grew to become into all, yet good. The rapturous discomfort nevertheless lingers. carry me now, console me. If basically in my desires. Love me, No, you hate me. I took liberties mutually with your punctuation too, basically my own evaluations. superb poem.

Answer 3

Number 2 is better.Thanks for the poems.

Answer 4

i like both, but if i had to choose, i would go with number 2, only because...and yes this will sound stupid...if its snowing, the earth couldn't great u "warmly" xD yes i know its metaphoric

Answer 5

you shad showe the fown first so ican answer ok cuty.

Answer 6

i like the first one much better.sounds good

Answer 7

i think the second one is more optimistic =)