am i psycho?

Question

me and my husband just got into an argument. it was basically because i was feeling insicure and i just wanted him to tell me everything was ok. instead i got the complete opposit effect. me and my husband seperated 2 weeks a go but got back together after a week. he is a cheater, well he was talking to other girls. that wasnt the first time though. im just confused because i donty know if i was right or wrong. what should i say to make him understand my feelings. we have 2 babies together,

we split because he said he didnt know if he wanted me anymore then a week later he decided he did i guess he also said he didnt know if he would stop talking to other girls. we are married im not just his baby mama.

Answer 1

You feel insecure because your husband WANTS you to feel that way. That way he can blame you for his cheating because he could not take it about how insecure you are because of his cheating etc etc etc.. you get it.

Look..cheaters have a known pattern.. and they always find reasons inside their heads.. male or female .... why cheating is justifiable and right . Cheaters almost never care about the feelings of the spouse. If they cared..that would mean they cannot cheat anymore.

I will be praying for you about this. God bless you and your babies. Remember they should not learn to be as he is. Just remember ..that most times..what we all need to do is far and above what we might want to do.

Answer 2

No, not a psycho, but don't show him your insecurity because men hate that.

Get the Divorce Busters book and read it.

I'd say just dump him, but you have two children so that makes a difference. The children need a home and both their parents, so try to make it work - try counseling.

You've got to make home the best place he prefers to be - it's hard when he doesn't deserve it and treat you with respect. Be pleasant in every way and all things except never agree with cheating or violence. Teach your children that Daddy's homecoming each day is a big event and to greet him enthusiastically with a hug. Then they should retreat so he can unwind for a few minutes from work.

If he doesn't stop the flirting and cheating, apply social pressure by informing his parents, family, friends, minister, church, etc. They will tell him this is wrong.

Of course, you will have to make your own decision, we can only offer suggestions which may or may not work.

Joy to you....

Answer 3

You are not psycho. Do not wait around for him. He cannot stop calling other girls? You do not need that and he does not deserve you. He is a cheater and that says enough. The kids need a mother that is happy and secure. I don't think you are getting that here. If it were me he would be gone and he would not have a choice in the matter.

Answer 4

Candii, you are in a dysfunctional marriage! Would I consider you psycho? I don't know, because I don't have enough information. Based on what you've revealed in your question, you were justified in questioning your husband based on your suspicions. Of course you two separated and the fact that he's a cheater came to light and that he was talking to two other girls. Look, you can't afford to stay with a man who's willing to tear his family apart chasing women. His priorities are on chasing p*ssy, not maintaining a solid foundation for his family. Consider filing for divorce. If you don't file for divorce, at least get marriage counseling, but in my humble opinion, you need to leave him for good and allow him to just be a father to the children. You and your children will be better off.

Answer 5

this is an ongoing problem in life. Has always been for me. My men have always talked to other women, in person, on the job, and across the internet. Each time I hear the same thing, I am not cheating......well sorry but if a man seeks out another woman to talk to then he is either very insecure himself or he just doesn't find his mate attractive and sexy enough. Move on honey. It won't change. Each time there is a disagreement he will revert to his ways. They do not change. You deserve better. Good luck

Answer 6

wow!! my sister just went thru this 20 years married 2 kids, and a business. she has always suspected he was a cheater, after my niece 2 years ago graduated school, my brother in law got caught with a woman, younger and a partier. my niece finally told my sister, that since she was in 8th grade her friends have always told her that her dad was hitting on their moms. they live in a small hip town, and everyone knows everything!!
my sister wanted to curl up and die, but she finally met a nice guy, treats her nice, and kids love him.

my point is it doesn't matter what you say or do, he will do what he wants, and make it feel like its all your fault. maybe if you did this! or maybe if you did that, things would be different, hes lying. its not you.

don't let him destroy you!!!

good luck, i know it hurts.

Answer 7

Reality Check Time:

1) You are MARRIED and he cheated.
2) You have TWO children together

It is time for you to be the adult and file for divorce and sole custody of the children. Take the 'man' (I use the term loosely) to 'the cleaners' in terms of spousal and child support. Get your life together for yourself and the children. You are not a psycho for wanting HONESTY in a relationship.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

there is nothing you can say hes a cheater and you are only his babies mama. meaning he would put his family in danger for a cheap thrill aids are some other disease this would cause you not to raise the babies if you were stricken with aids because his in mature and being a dog don't sell your self short you are what you think you are worth

Answer 9

if you know he is a cheater, why would you be with him and put up with his games????
just because you have 2 babies with him doesn't mean you are meant to be together.
give yourself some respect so he can respect you too!!
because it looks like to me that he is using you ...
do u think he is worth it???

Answer 10

OMG,.................... where do I begin.....
Honey- LISTEN UP-
You deserve (any one would)- MUCH better than that confusing, hurtful, dishonest, abusive, game playing, immature- crap.
Take your kids, and what is left of your self esteem and LEAVE HIS **** TODAY. Or else-
You'll have absolutely no one to blame but yourself. Please take this advice- give your life a chance. Is his behaviour at all indicative of a man who loves you??? NO, IT IS NOT. He has problems, don't pass that crap onto you and your kids another day longer.