how do you shut up a crying baby without touching it?

Question

i dont want to hurt the poor thing, i just need the peace and quiet

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Answer 1

Babies cry for a reason, they have no other means of communicating their needs. It's highly unlikely that you can avoid touching them if you want to get them to stop.

I know it's frightening being confronted by this tiny little person who is totally dependent on you for everything, without adding a mindbending cry to the mix.

Firstly you need to find out why it's crying. Try working through a list.
1. Is it hungry - try gently rubbing his/her cheek, if the baby turns its' head towards your hand (rooting reflex) and appears to be searching then they most likely hungry.
2. Are they wet or have a dirty nappy? Very young babies will need to be changed every few hours. If the nappy is clean you may not be sure if it needs changing - a simple test if using disposables is to feel the weight and compare it to a new dry one. A wet nappy will feel heavy. You might want a comparision the first time you change a baby - to do so take a dry nappy and put a few fluid oz of water in it - now pick it up and place it in your upturned palm, feel how it weighs.
3. Baby is too hot/cold. A baby's feet and hands often feel cooler than the rest of its' body. The easiest way place to check their body temperature is to carefully place a finger tip down the back of its' neck under the collar of its' clothes.
If cool then put on more clothing or add blanket(s).
A hot baby's skin tends to be pinker and its' face may look flushed (although with a newborn this is hard to tell). Try removing a layer (blanket(s)/clothing).
Also check the room temperature - the ideal temp for a baby's room is 18*C which may feel chilly to you.
4. Pain - including wind, trapped air in their stomach, colic.
To burp the baby hold it against your chest with his'her head near your shoulder - gently but firmly pat their back with the flat of your other hand - you may need to do this for several minutes.
Gently rubbing around the baby's navel in a clockwise motion can help their digestive system. This can help with wind and colic.
Colic - a baby with colic will often pull its' legs up towards its' chest and have a loud cry.
5. Tired. Some babies cry when tired. Gently rocking can help. Too much stimulatation when tired can upset a baby and they will have difficulty settling - if this is the case putting the baby down in a quiet room should help.
6. Lonely/bored - babies thrive on company.

Sometimes a baby will cry for no obvious reason - even after working through your list - all you can do is offer comfort, a gentle voice, rocking motions, a cuddle.

My health visitor team used to offer a mother and father post-natal class. They surveyed particpants and interestingly the women expressed the same worries and fears as the men, however additionally the majority of the men were scared of accidently hurting the baby because of their own strength. The health visitors concluded that this was due to the men having bigger hands than women and generally being more muscular. So you are perfectly normal to be worried about hurting the baby - as long as you support their head, avoid any rough handling and never ever drop it you should be fine.

If the crying becomes too much for you then make sure the baby is safe and either shut the door and go to another room where you cannot hear it, or go outside, for 10 minutes and just breath. Crying will not hurt the baby so don't feel you should literally have to drop everything to rush to the baby, you can take the time to take care of what you were doing first.

I would suggest checking out classes run by your local NCT (National Child Birth Trust).

Answer 2

Give him some space and a chance - he's got a lot going on with a new job etc and sweetie -- it is actually physically true -story and biologically proven - men do Not process things the way we women do - For him, this is a lot happening at once and for men their career is almost more important than their marriage as it is something that a man measures his success and abilities by his work . You might get the book called: "what every man wished his wife knew -it I know you're not married or even necessarily considering him at the time -but you need to read it to get a handle on how men think. The fact that his best friend called you shows that he DOES still care - to me it looks like when u challenged his work schedule a month ago it made him start questioning the relationship with u because a man's work is SO very very important to them - i cannot over emphasize this to you - Get the book - it's by James Dobson - and believe me it will help you in all relationships Listen - it was very hard for him to do this - he still loves you - he just didn't know how to handle things right now - give him the month he asked for and in the meantime read the book ... this month is very precious and can affect the rest of your life - tell him your going to give him that month and at the end of the month you want to talk with him again and both of you AT THAT TIME reaccess where your relationship is and where it can go

Answer 3

Sounds like it's stressing you!

I don't know if it is male or female so I will use both.

If you are about to lose the plot, put the baby in his bed and shut the door and calm down for a while. This won't meet his needs but it's safe.

You may have to "touch it" - that is, carry her around. Don't pick her up if you're scared you'll hurt her, but if you can handle it, carry her and jiggle (gently, not shake). I find laying a baby along my forearm on her tummy, with her head at my elbow, and gently jiggling helps. I think it's because it puts gentle pressure on the tummy.

When you're calm, check that all his needs have been met - feed, play, burp, change, sleep. Some babies need to be wrapped firmly in a small blanket from shoulder to toe, unless it's too hot, in order to sleep.

Depending on her age, try controlled crying/controlled comforting. This means if it's bedtime, she goes to bed. Let her cry for 2 minutes, go and pat her and tell her you're still there, but don't pick her up because she needs to know it's not playtime. When you leave she will cry again; let her cry for 5 minutes and go back and do the same thing. Every time you leave, let her cry for up to twice as long as the previous time, and she will learn that she's not alone but noone's playing, so she might as well stop. It can take a few nights to work.

If you really think you will hurt the baby if you touch him, call someone to come and help. Just let them know you need some help to settle the baby, and don't touch him until they get there. Or if you're calm enough to go for a drive, put him in the car and go. This often sends them to sleep.

Good on you for recognising you need ideas and asking for them. Don't do anything you'll regret.

Answer 4

I really don't think that you should be left alone with a baby, first of all a baby is not an IT.! If you don't want to pick it up just sing to the baby or hum, put a bottle in the babies mouth or a pacifier? If you need peace and quiet you should find a babysitter at least for the baby. BABIES DO CRY FYI!!!!!!

Answer 5

Babies need love and comfort to feel safe and secure. If the baby has been crying longer than 20 minutes, you may have to pick him/her up.
Put the baby in its crib and take a breather. When you have collected your thoughts, go back in and comfort the baby. Don't act overwhelmed or irritated. Babies can sense this and it will only encourage more crying. Try singing a song or making silly noises. Remember that the baby isn't crying to annoy you. They may need a diaper change or fed. They might need burped. Or they may just want to be held.

Answer 6

well, depends on the situation. first of all, you do not have to hold or cuddle a baby every time it cries. however, if the crying does not subside, you have to understand the baby has needs, too. infants require the sense of acceptance and safety. is the baby hungry? is the baby sick? too hot? too cold? could just be the baby had a nightmare...they have them too...in such case, then holding and cuddling a little bit works. have you tried a mobile, soft music, talking gently, etc? don't really know how to help other than some of the above examples, as babies cry for numerous reasons. hope this helps...and yes, hope you don't hurt the poor thing. since it's crying, it is already undergoing some sort of distress. if the crying does not subside soon, try calling a triage nurse or taking the baby to the er...call your mother or something.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are a little stressed.....maybe you should ask a family member to help out and keep your baby so you can rest.......
But if you need peace right now try turning on the radio to soft music and just leaving the room for about 5 minutes the baby will be ok and you should just breath some fresh air....
good luck and god bless you both...

Answer 8

Find a way to divert its attention. Play some kind of peek-a-boo. Give the child his/her favorite toy to play with.

Pick up the child to give some comfort.

Make sure diaper is not wet or soiled.

Offer a bottle (water) or a pacificer.

Don't yell at the child or strike the child. These things will only make the whole situation worse.

Answer 9

Take a deep breath, my dear! This is your life! Most new parents are in for a shock with a new child. Hate to put it so bluntly, but only in time will your baby stop crying. Worys me to hear that you don't want to touch "it". Your baby is a he or she- not an "it". What your baby NEEDS right now is his/her Mother. Or Father. Whatever. The baby NEEDS a stable, safe environment to grow. Please be patient, talk to people about this, and learn to nuture your child. Nothing more precious than a child. And don't forget to breathe!

-buttercup

Answer 10

Your question seems strangely worded. The baby is not yours, I take it? If you are in the same house/apartment, see if you can get the mother/father/guardian's permission to pick up the baby (learn how if you don't know), and carry the baby around, holding it upright so he or she can see what's going on. Chances are the baby will quiet down. If that is not feasible, earplugs or earphones & music might help.