Bleeding deeply,
Seriously in wound
Severely broken
With a heartbreaking doom.
Twisting and turning,
I can't stop the pain.
I'm dying inside,
I'm slattered and slain.
The words that you said
before you had left
Cried me to sleep,
Though it was for the best.
"I don't want you"
and "Never Existed"
When I shouted "No!",
I was being selfish and twisted.
But when I hide in the dark,
Like I'm doing right now,
I'll prey that you come back,
Someway, Somehow.
(Its based on how Bella Swan feels in New Moon.)
2007-11-20 12:36:54 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I have some grammer mistakes, but good lord people, I'm only 11, so please don't nag me.
2007-11-20 12:47:02 · update #1
Oh, and thanks for all the helpful suggestions. ^^ I'll make sure to remember them.
Thanks for reading! =D
2007-11-20 12:48:26 · update #2
slattered should be slaughtered
the words that you said before you left cried me to sleep doesn't make sense
work on the two lines after Though it was for the best
pray not prey
I would give it a six as it stands right now.
Not bad
2007-11-20 12:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by suzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
meaningful poem that appeals to readers' deep emotions
However, words can't ...."Cried me to sleep," and say pray not prey
8/10
2007-11-20 12:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the Twilight series. And your poem is GREAT!!!
2007-11-20 12:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by not me! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋