I am 21 years old and me and a 35 year old married man have been seeing each other lately. Dont even start mad dogging me right now .. we BOTH know its wrong but we are so attracted to each other its unbelievable!! So please give me advice instead of telling me how horrible I am b/c I am finding that out right now myself. I know I could get hurt and I am preparing for that and I will learn the hard way. Anyway... yesterday we met up and talked and kinda kissed and did first base kind of things but today I ended up giving him a *BJ* ..it was both good for both of us and now we want the real thing. Now.. I know I will get hurt and I feel so bad and like a hoe and all i can think about is him going home to his wife... and I have cried and have been REALLLY thinking this over seriously. But the horrible part is I feel like I love him and I cant help those feelings. I dont know what to do... I NEED SOME REAL GOOD ADVICE to take me out of this situation PLEASE!!!!!
2007-11-20 12:34:55 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he's willing to cheat on his wife, how do you believe he won't do it to you too at some point? I would break it off regardless of your feelings.
2007-11-20 12:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Lauren 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First you can't be serious if you really think you can come out and say 'I am knowingly messing around with a married man and you are NOT allowed to say anything negative about it.'
You know it's wrong so just stop. That's it. Nothing too complicated about it. Just stop. If you know how wrong it is then why do you keep doing it?
And the most important thing is how obvious it is that you are not respecting yourself! You deserve to be #1!! Not #2! He is a piece of **** who wants the best of both worlds. You deserve more than that - you deserve 100% of a man not 20%. He is using you.
You need to get some self control. Stop using your emotions to make decisions and use your brain.
Oh and the girl above me is an idiot. Please don't listen to her advise.
2007-11-20 12:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by Willow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not this stupid. Just don't talk to him ANYMORE. If he calls, don't answer. In class, be professional. If he talks to you at work, give him the facts and go back to work. It is simple and easy. Get back with your bf before he moves on to someone else and realizes he doesn't need you. He's NOT going to divorce his wife. Find another job so that you are not around him all the time.
What are you going to do when your friend (who has a newborn) finds out you had sex with her hus? It WAS sex. Giving the act initials is only an attempt to make it sound like less than it is. She's going to flip out and you need to prepare. She'll make him quit and get YOU kicked out of school. People at the gym see how you are together. SOMEONE is going to open their mouth. Karma ALWAYS gets you.
If you have counselors at your school, you need to speak with one before you get even more over your head than you are.
2007-11-21 05:40:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take my advice and act on it when I say a married man will never leave his wife for you. I know this from my own personal experience. He is just using you for pleasure. How would it make you feel if you knew that he was having sex with his wife and right after coming to have sex with you? Sooner or later that is the kind of relationship he is going to want...Please get out of this as soon as possible. You will get over it sweety!
2007-11-20 12:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by Em 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do. The difference is weather you really want to bad enough. The right thing to do is avoid the situation. I believe you have real feelings for this guy. and you can justify all day long how its not so bad. But, you have the power to stay away from this guy until his situation has change. You know the answer to this question. The right thing to do is that feeling you get in your gut.
2007-11-20 12:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by motormank 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and find someone else.
Maybe go to your parents or on a trip to try and get him out of your blood. I'm married but am open to my husband eing with other people maybe she is like me and is happy someone else it taking his mind off her?
Don't worry to much, you know he'll most likly never leave her but why not enjoy it for a while but if he has children take a nice long trip or get a job somewhere else.
See someone else.
If you love him then you won't want to ripe his childrens lives apart. right?
So find someone elses and no matter how much it hurts right now you will always get over it. Pain is only what your mind makes it into. Save your self future hurt and pain and drop him now..
Plus if he left her for you who says the another 21 year will come by when your 30 somthing and he likes her and she falls in love with him and takes him away from you and your children?
Things to think about hope I helped.
2007-11-20 12:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Victoria, i'm sorry to pay attention that there is slightly disrespect at your domicile of residing---yet a 33 year previous will in no way flow out if mom is dottering and spoiling him---why would desire to he flow?? difficulty is he will in no way the thank you to peacefully co-exist with a girl on a mature point...what a shame. you're additionally witnessing slightly crude disrespectful habit that comes from being relatives and residing mutually a majority of those years. To an intruder this all sounds poor--to you and your brother it rather is merely time-honored residing. So say no in case you will desire to--he won't explode or turn blue. relax, be cool, be staggering, and robust success-----SMILE
2016-10-02 04:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by smyers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would help to see for yourself that you have made a bad descision and only you can control your actions and feelings. Unfortunately, human emotions are so crazy and we have a hard time controling them so tha tis the reason why we should keep it way way back from the line. You are in a lot of trouble and it would be wise for you to end it and repair damage. I don;t mean to bad mouth you but this is the truth and only you can fix it. I really hope things work out for you!
2007-11-20 12:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Brig 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be hard to deal with this, because you have a chemistry with him. But, you are on the right track, I think, of realizing it isn't a good idea, for you, for him, and especially not his wife. Try to put yourself in her shoes..
You have to distance yourself from him, that is the only way you can start to bring closure to yourself. If he moves on to someone else, and does have an affair, it is clear from your conscience.
Please do the right thing, and cut off contact with him. It wouldn't even be wise to remain friends with him, because the attraction will always be there.
I hope you make the right decision, just follow your conscience!
2007-11-20 12:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really just need to get out of the situation. You might love him BUT he still has a wife and chances are he isn't going to leave her, even though he might be telling you so. The longer you stay in the more it's going to hurt to get out, so get out now. There are other fish in the sea, and a lot of them that are not married.
2007-11-20 12:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by PinkyTrauma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is living out what every man wants a younger girl as a sex toy. Younger girls are firm, and sexy, and inocent. Older men get a kick out pretending to take care of younger girls. older men feel macho with younger girls. Being with an older man is great for you.....but he is married. You need to get out of this realationship and save your self from getting hurt. Think about his wife getting hurt. Dose he have kids? they will get hurt too. do the right thing and save everyone involved. You will be a better person. There are other older men out there if that's what you like.
2007-11-20 12:49:31 · answer #11 · answered by good_cisum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋