Is it selfish for a married working mother of 2 to want to go to college?

Question

I'm a professional photographer. I make a decent income. I'm also married and have 2 kids. I am attending college right now to get another degree in hopes that some day I can open and maintain my own studio and work for myself.

An answerer to my last question informed me that I have my priorities messed up and I'm selfish for wanting to go to college on top of my family and work obligations.

I was just interested in finding out how many other people would agree?

I do freelance photographer work through a company in town. Which means I'm home with my kids 4 days a week- 3 days a week I'm out taking pictures. My husband is off 2 of those days which means they only go to daycare 1 day a week. I do my classes mostly at night when my husband's home. My kids aren't being neglected.

Caliguy- I think you've missed the point that my kids only actually spend 1 day a week in day care- which is actually proven to be good for kids to have time away from parents, too. They don't sit there every day- 1 day a week they go play with other kids- they actually look forward to it.

Answer 1

Depends. If you want to obtain a degree and better yourself and your family, then no, I don't think it's selfish.

If you're just wanted to go to college for the keggers and toga parties, then you should take me with you. That would be very selfless of you.

Answer 2

It would be selfish of you not to. You need to set a good example and provide a good life for your children. I just had a conversation earlier with one of my older friends in school. Shes married as well and has 3 kids. She told me that her father said she is ridiculous for going back to school. Her husband also does not support her. I personally think that her attending college says a lot about her character, love for her children, and self respect. You're doing the right thing and you should know you are. EVERY mom should be in school if they haven't completed or furthered their education yet. When the situation doesn't work, you find a way. That's what any good parent would do.
Good luck with school :)

Answer 3

That is a ridiculous notion said by a narrow-minded person.

By going back to college, you. .
1. Potentially improve the long term financial picture for your family.
2. Serve as a role model to your two children on the importance of education.
3. Invest in something that no one can ever take away from you.

As far as your family is concerned, I find that the times when I am the busiest is when I am the best husband/father. It makes me focus my limited time and energy on my family. Ironically, when I have more time, I can become complacent.

I would just caution you not to overdo things. Balance is important.

Answer 4

I strongly disagree with what that person said. Just because you have educational and career ambitions you would like to fulfill does NOT mean that you are selfish or that you have your priorities in the wrong order! Not only that, but just because you have a husband and children doesn't mean that you shouldn't have a life outside of them! If you want to get a college degree and open your own studio, go for it and don't listen to the words of ignorant, shortsighted people like the one you mentioned!

Answer 5

I don't think you are selfish. You are being a great role model for your children. They are not missing you while you are gone...millions of children stay with a sitter or at daycare on occasion. They are learning about life...they are learning to pursue their dreams. Sometimes the people on here answer questions as if they are perfect. I always try to forget at least one negative comment for each question that is asked. If there are more than a few negatives then I know I am wrong.

Answer 6

It sounds such as you're in an exceedingly demanding concern, juggling life modifications and that i'm guessing your bf is likewise somewhat under pressure. Your lives are changing. that would not recommend you will desire to provide up each little thing that has ever made you happy yet you do would desire to make transformations. perhaps you men want slightly area and/or some exciting. concentration on what's powerful with regard to the courting, how he's making an attempt to look out for the wellbeing of the youngster. that's an admirable high quality. Now on your wellbeing--he would not would desire to be in the transport room yet quite than combat approximately all this ideal now merely clarify which you're feeling emotional--blame it on hormones or in spite of like numerous pregnant women folk do. Does the bf plan to artwork greater? Will you after the baby? you have lots to think of approximately yet merely take it one step at a time and verify out to be as rational as attainable. in case you do flow to the suburb, it is not as in case you could in no way flow decrease back. little or no in this life is everlasting and in specific cases that is an exceedingly reliable element.

Answer 7

I don't think that it is selfish. I think that you are trying to better yourself which in turns betters your family which would be opposite of selfish. The only way I can see it being selfish is if you really couldn't afford to pay for the classes at this time. Otherwise, I think if it is your husband who is telling you that it is selfish is because he doesn't want to step up and do the family work at night. I have known many women with children who have gone back to college to better their families. I wish you luck.

Answer 8

Hell no, you've got your priorities straight!!! Kudos to you for striving to better yourself despite making a decent income. If more women were like you, the world would be a better place and the divorce rate wouldn't be north of 50%. Babydoll, don't listen to fools who call you selfish for wanting to improve yourself for you and your family. Some people out here still believe that women should be barefoot and pregnant.

Answer 9

of course it's NOT selfish. You are working in the same field to better yourself and help your family. It's reasonable.
It's not like you are trying to be a supermodel or something unstable. You already have business contacts since you already do photography..this is just a step up in your career objectives that will benefit your whole family.
Perhaps others are jealous.
When they say it can't be done--it's impossible LET that be your motivation.

Sincerely,
A single mother of 2, 3 time college graduate (in my same field)

Answer 10

You kids will soon grow up and any education you get now will benefit them as they grow and benefit you when they are gone.

And believe me they will not look back at your school as being a problem. They will see you as an industrious person who cared about them and about herself.

Anything you do to better yourself benefit all. When you get your own studio, open a framing department. It also takes some skill but can greatly enhance your presentation of your photo work and can make you extra funds.

YOU GO GIRL

Answer 11

It depends on how you go about it. If you just sign up for classes, without talking to your family about it, then yes, it is selfish. Absolutely. Your decisions affect others. Consult them, particularly your spouse, and do what works best for everyone involved.

Marriage requires compromises. Hopefully, your spouse and family can compromise so everyone can be happy. But you might have to compromise on something as well. For example, fewer classes a semester, take longer to get the degree, so you can still put in some time as a wife and mother.