I am 45 years old and 10 tears ago a group nasty works mates defer-mated my character and ruined my life?

Question

just over 10 years i had a relationship at work and when the relatioship ended i was bullied out of my job and treated by is mate and frightened to death , but worse was to come when i walked out of my job, they turned friends i had know for 20 years against me and i got abuse from youths where i live . since then my life as been a misery with people not knowing about my past and me not knowing theres i have been on the bad end of lots of things with know one to protect me . i just want to feel happy safe and sercure again and to be able to trust people again which is had when no knows you all want to build bonds with you want can i do. i

Answer 1

This is bullying in a big way and should not be allowed in any form especially at work. Go see a solicitor and take proceedings against the company in question. You need to claim compensation for loss of job on the above grounds and the bullying. Please don't be unhappy and don't let these people get you down. As for so called friends you have had for 20yrs doing this then all i can say is that they never were a friend. This is not a good situation to be in but first things first go to a solicitor, secondly go to the doctor see if theres something he can give you medication wise to help you through this and thirdly if possible move away and start a fresh. I hope you'll feel better soon. My heart and thoughts are with you. Loads of HUGS sent!!!

-x-

Answer 2

Well I read everyones suggestions but I believe you are beyond the statue of limitations on sueing them, that's a local legal question you can ask.

I would go into another job career if you can. you are still young enough to do that.

the "so called friends" you've known for over 20 years are really not friends at all and they are weak minded people to be led to go against you.

There are 2 types of people in this world in my book.
There are "Followers" and
There are Leaders.

I take care of myself, I don't rely on anyone else to do it. If you don't care of you, no one else is going to. So, realize that first.

I've had a similar situation but it wasn't an office affair.
I spoke my mind.. There was so much bullS#@%$ going on in the office. I worked so hard, and certain people were best friends w/ the manager, they came in at 9:30, took 2 hour lunches, then left an hour early.
When I found out they were recieiving over time.....I blew the whistle. So, I was outcasted in my industry and told I would be sorry. He was right, I couldn't get a job anywhere and still can't.

I'm going to move to another state in about 2 months.
I'm going to make a fresh start w/ my life or it's just lay down and die.
I'm not running away from any problems, I realize any problems I have w/ myself, I'm taking w/ me.

I'm just so sick of the people in this area, the job market is bad now anyway, and I am at a point in my life, where I need change.

You might want to consider the same.....

Good luck to you...

Answer 3

I suffered the very same thing around 10 years too.
I done my grieving years ago & now I am living again. I hope I can help you to see light at the end of your dark tunnel.

Bullying is a behavioral problem. People tend to be easily led into joining in the bulling & form a pack much like animals do.

In a group they become stronger & are ready to attack an individual.
They were unaware at the time of what they were actually doing because they were following their instinct to join in & be led.
There was a leader in your bullying & the weaker ones just had to follow. It is human instinct. Without a leader none of it could of happened.

You are not the weak one here. They are.

You are strong because you survived this attack but you let it continue to follow you through your life. You probably coped fine with it at the time but now just like post traumatic stress disorder it is making a come back.

My advice is never trust anyone ever. Even your lover or your kids can turn on you. Never put your life in anyone else's hands to the point where they can destroy you. Never let anyone know everything about you or your weakness. They will use it.

Read up on bulling & it's effects. Also read up on building your self esteem. Re-train your mind to work for you not against you. You came through this once now its time to do it again.

Good luck

Answer 4

You are allowing this to happen to you, how? By constantly thinking the worst and by doing this you are going round in ever decreasing circles. Have you watched 'The Secret' it is on moviesfoundonline.com under the religion/spirituality section. It will give you an insight into how we attract things into our lives. If you have made a mistake in the past, forgive yourself, learn from the mistake and move on. You are allowing other people to influence your life, start taking control because you are the only person that thinks your thoughts and you can change your world just by thinking positive.
Here is a site that would help you. Good luck and all the best!

Answer 5

10 years a long time mate. and issues like these should be left behind and not thought of on a daily basis. i feel your pain and i understand what you are going through but the idea of people still bullying you is just bad. if you wanna start fresh, i would suggest moving away from your current neighborhood. leaving the past behind would definitely be a good thing for you. and if u leave, try not to let anyone else know. those crazy people who did those stuff to you might track you down and restart sh it again. gd luck mate!

Answer 6

I went through a nasty divorce years ago and many people, not having a clue what had caused it, turned against me. It was very hard on me. But I held my head high; moved to a new state; remarried; had another child and moved on. I quit teaching and became a professional in another field. I made many friends over the years and I OVERCAME!! My daddy told me many times: "You may be defeated sometime but never, ever surrender." Those words made me determined. I decided happiness was a decision, not a result of having had such a wonderful life. And now, I am living the results of my determination to succeed. I have a wonderful family, friends, and I couldn't be happier. I have learned to be more careful in getting too close to people too quickly. I don't tell a lot about me to people until I know they are trusted friends and even then, some things I hold private. But God has helped me every time I reached out to Him and with time I can honestly say, life's better than ever. You can do it. Look forward; never backward. What's past is past. Treasure every day. Be strong. You can do it. God bless!

Answer 7

You should talk to your Doctor, therapist, councillor etc and tell them how you are feeling. Also you could talk to a solicitor about your unfair treatment at work.

I have been using an alternative therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique for anxiety and depression which has helped me a lot. I only have mild anxiety and depression now. It has really worked for me and I have been feeling a lot better since using EFT. It's very good at getting rid of all kinds of negative emotions and dealing with all kinds of issues quickly. It does sound crazy but does work. Might be something that can help you.

Answer 8

I have had similar situations- not quite as tense- but still hard to take all the same. Now I have a hard time with trusting people, as it sounds like you do too. Give yourself a break from depending on others to feel safe & happy & spend a little time getting back to yourself. Find a way to make yourself happy & secure. After you've had a little while to "lick" your wounds, then you can seek out the company of others when you've got more to offer, & feel more in control of things. I guess I'm saying take time out to take care of and find yourself.-Best wishes-

Answer 9

sounds serious, I cant help you with my limited knowledge of your situation and of psychological treatment.

you need to let go of the past, focus on living in the present, think about what would make you secure. Try meditation, try kung fu, but I cant really suggest anything and doubt there will be many answers that will, counciling would be a better place to start working through these kinds of problems

Answer 10

This is awful for you and they shuld be ashamed of their actions.
Married women go through your suffering too, before and after they leave to divorce their spouse. It goes on for years and years.
Im not at the computer often but e mail me and I will get back to you.
Tell me where you are/country/county no need for full address.
I know a bit about this and I can help.