My ex cheating on me, among other things. I'm not sure how to respond to questions about why we got divorced...though i want to call my ex every name in the book, i want to move on and not look like i'm still angry and just blaming him for everything.
2007-11-20 10:42:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
say nothing negative about your ex, no matter how inviting it seems, other men just don't want to hear it, and it may effect the future of the relationship, if u talk about your ex. when u bring up the cheating thing, it makes u look like a victim and someone to be avoided. u lost nothing really, just a cheating no good dog, nothing of value, nothing u need to talk about.
2007-11-20 10:48:12 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Do not bad mouth your ex. It is a huge turn off. Also, at first, you have the right to keep that information private until there is trust and intimacy between the two of you. If an acquaintance or co worker grilled you with questions about your ex, would you feel obligated to answer? Probably not. A date is an acquaintance and you do not owe them any explainations. If they ask, just say it didn't work out. If that person presses the issue, say you prefer not to talk about it at this time and take that as an important indication of their character. (not very respectful or tactful.) Conversations about this topic should come after many dates and a good strong rapport has developed between the two of you.
2007-11-20 22:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer anything about your divorce, marriage or past relationship unless the person asking is in a very serious relationship with you. Real committed, future planning, life changing serious.
Would you go to work and ask an acquaintence why he divorced? Remind yourself that you are just dating-you are not in a relationship and you don't owe anyone an explanation for anything. If you are asked, you can politely say "I'm sorry, but I don't believe its approrpriate to share the details of my personal life at this point in our relationship."
You don't need to explain it, the answer stands on its own. I answered a man that way once, and his reply was "well, then I guess I better work at getting to the next point in our relationship, I'll ask again later". That was the coolest response I got. He never pressed again, and the relationship opened naturally.......You have a right to keep private those things that you want. When you are ready, you will know who you can share that painful part of your life with, and when you do, you will be assured that they will be past the point of judging you.
2007-11-20 19:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already answered your own question. Well done! If the topic arises just say what you think is necessary then move on. Let your date know what happened in as few words as possible then it shows you have got over it and are ready to move on. Of course you're going to be 'pissed' at him and that will fade in future years, but you still have a life to live so get out there and live it, don't let that 'plonker' slow you down.
Good Luck!
2007-11-20 18:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by Badass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moderate. Be honest, but do not repeat things you tell your date. Re[eating stuff your ex did will make it seem like you are dwelling on the past. Tell him once, then move on.
Also, don't get into details unless the relationship may has serious potential.
Good luck.
2007-11-20 18:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can say that cheating hurt you but don't say anything else and if the guy your dating wants to know just tell him this date is not about exes its about us.
Good Luck and hope your dates all go well
2007-11-20 18:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by BILL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not emotionally over this enough to be dating responsibly. All's you'll end up doing is dragging your date into your B.S. (even if you're only looking for angry revenge sex). Give your self some more space, & when you can talk about your ex without the anger you'll be ready.
2007-11-20 18:51:21 · answer #7 · answered by Monkeyboi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't even have to discuss your personal reasons why the divorce occurred. The answer is obvious that the marriage did not work. Simple let the person know that the marriage failed and he wasn't the one, simple as that.
2007-11-20 18:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well dont bring it up at all ....just avoid talking about it
if you bring up why you got divorced it only making you upset and put you in a sour mood ...and if your on a date it may turn off date when he sees that your that upset ....he may think that maybe your not ready for dating because you cant let go of your past
2007-11-20 18:48:27 · answer #9 · answered by Dan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out with a counselor then you will not seem compelled to bring it up on your dates cause you will have gotten it all out of your system. But only then can you discuss it without the emotions.
2007-11-20 19:09:08 · answer #10 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋