My wife and I are in a middle of a divorce. My wife always tried to control me. I asked her more than a year to go to a counselor together. Finally we went to 2 different counselors but she did not show up the second time because she says: I am smart and educated and I know what is right!
Both counselors told her not to scream and asked me to leave the house as soon as she screams. This way I can never tell her that she is wrong. She screams, swears and just do not listen.
If I listen to it, it makes me feel so bad because she is accusing me of a lot of things that I never even think about! It really hurts!
Sometimes I wish I could tell her what is in my heart but she does not let me talk. How can I react so that she stops talking for 5 minutes and starts listening?
2007-11-20 09:35:23 · 10 answers · asked by mazyar m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You own a belt, don't you?
2007-11-20 09:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no, no. No way to try to make her listen or understand, you have seen the way things work. All your energies and concentration at this time should be on pressing the gas pedal to get out of that situation at the soonest, and if you want, look back but once you are out of that situation that if you try to make her understand, she wont listen, if you try, she wont listen, if you try harder, she wont listen, don't you get it?, the communication pattern has already been established and she is not a communicative person, you will leave and hurted, there is no choice, the best you can do is to leave and being less hurted but little to none chances, you just have to leave. Plus, once you are out of that situation you will love life so much that the less you will like to do is to look back, but that is after you start seeing life out there is beautiful without being blamed and without someone that screams like that. Not to mention if later someone that doesn't screams and treats you nicely shows up in your life, the less you will want to do is to look back or listen to someone screaming, there wont be any need. Consider yourself lucky a separation is in process, and for what you described, the less you should worry about is if she listen or doesn't or tries to understand. Get out now, life can be so much better than that.
2007-11-20 17:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Your wife is out of control and you need to get out of her way and her life ASAP. The more you stay the worse you will feel and it solves nothing. It takes to for a screaming temper tantrum; when you're not there she will have no one to scream at. MOVE OUT NOW. She is illogical, so don't put any credence into anything she screams...she is simply not in control, she has no reasoning ability or common sense; she is a virago. Forget telling her what is in your heartl you'd be casitng pearls before swine and ignorant, screaming swine at that...give it up. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time.
2007-11-20 17:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex girlfriend like this. We lived together. She was verbally, mentally and physically abusive. She always complained and accused me of things I didn't do. She was a drunkard. She got so drunk one night and stabbed me with a kitchen knife in the arm while I was yelling for my life. She permanently damaged my right eye by jamming the heel tip of her high heels into my eye. In another instance, she clawed me ferociously in a drunken rage. And what did I do to make her like this... nothing. Some women are just crazy. You need to get rid of her already. Get a restraining order and toss her out the door. If you live in Denver, give her a sweater too.
2007-11-20 17:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by Dr S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife seems to have a serious problem with her anger. She should be thankful to know that you care enough to take important steps like counseling to resolve your issues. It seems to me that she has some very personal issues that she needs to resolve and refuses to hear anything you have to say when there is an arguement. I think her screaming and refusing to listen has more to do with her ownself than you. She needs to take some time alone and reflect on her life and her inner self. Leave her alone for a bit and tell her when she is ready to discuss issues as equal adults you are ready to be there to talk and listen.
2007-11-20 17:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by msbgirl79 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you want to work on this relationship, why not take her to a place that she likely to know the people there and would not want o embarrass herself by screaming and talk to her. Let her know what this is doing to you, and how you can not take it anymore and want to change things becuz you want it to work with her. If she does not change you have the option of ignoring her, divorcing her or giving her a dose of her own medicine.
2007-11-20 18:07:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything leave it not worth the drama>If your going threw a div == tell her that you will listen when she stops screaming>Until then leave>
2007-11-20 17:45:04 · answer #7 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be a referee. seen it on a commercial once.wife screamin in ear hes just sittin there no expression on his face watchin the game
2007-11-20 18:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by tommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has no desire to listen. Proceed with the divorce.
2007-11-20 18:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
turn and walk away and leave and as you leave say i will comebacck when you can act like a lady, and not before.
2007-11-21 10:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋