Is it true the longer a couple stays together (cohabitate), the chance them getting married becomes more unlikely? I personally think that the only difference is a technicality and after 8 years it doesn't even matter. However, I do think I am being cheated out of explanation at least because most of the time I don't know what to think on the subject since I don't know what his stance is or about any marriage plans he may or may not have. I mean damn shouldn't I be able to decide what I am cool with?
2007-11-20 09:17:12 · 6 answers · asked by GTASE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Generally I would say yes. If you have spent years together without being married, and its working for you, a lot of people would ask "why fix what's not broken?" Some are afraid if they change their status, they might change the relationship.
I'm married 23 years, and have friends who have been together for 26 and never married. They say that the two families would fight the whole way through the ceremony. So I say, each to their own.
2007-11-20 09:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know the actual statistics, but just from a logical standpoint, why would you pay for something you can have for free?? By living together (which I have no problem with, and kinda wish I'd done) you've given him a 'wife' for free, he can come or go and there are no strings. Marriage is hard (not that cohabitation isn't, but it's different) and he's already getting everything he wants without it, so why would he marry you and quite possibly have to pay up??
2007-11-20 09:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
after eight years, there is no reason why you should not be married. unless you plan on breaking up, you should be moving forward in your relationship, and the natural next step is marriage.
if you have no plans to ever marry, then i guess that's up to you. yes it is a technicality, but it's a big technicality. you won't have the same legal rights as a married couple, which you may not think is fair or right (and it may not be), but it's the way it is.
if your partner is the one holding out, then you need to really consider why you're even staying with someone who doesn't want to commit to you. sounds like he doesn't want to commit if he doesn't have to, and you're not requesting it, so...it's getting more and more unlikely to happen. if he feels no reason to marry, he's not going to do it.
2007-11-20 10:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by hh 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. men are normally more aprehensive about marriage than women, and when they are getting the benefits of marriage without having to actually take the plunge then the start to think, why if i already have what i want and its working..... i come from a close group of friend that include 5 other couple besides me and my husband. we all met young , had kids young, moved into together young and we have all gotten married 8-11 years into our relationships (all by pressure from the women). so i think this is true that the longer you live together the longer it is going to take for him to ask..
2007-11-20 09:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by kisses 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, shacking you hinders the urgency of getting married.
After 8 years, you have nothing to lose and is appropiate to ask where your relationship is standing. If you are going to wai until he "sees the light" you will keep o waiting.
Take matters into your own hands, at this point you shoud be comfortable enough to tell him that it's time to make it official.
Good luck
2007-11-20 09:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think what they say is that people who live together before marriage tend to have a higher divorce rate.
2007-11-20 09:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by working gal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋