Feminist haters - this one's for you...?

Question

After a year of on-and-off visits to this forum, the light bulb finally went on for me....

After reading a response - a simple one line reply to a question - from one of the more notorious of these sorts, it all suddenly became clear. He simply replied that women were at their best as housewives.

So...do I have a correct understanding? Are those of you who hate feminism really just unhappy with women who push to do more for themselves and you? I realize there is much discussion of hypocricy and the like, but doesn't it all just boil down to wanting your women to be at home, providing you with creature comforts, taking care of the kids?

You know, wanting those things are fine - and there are plenty of women out there who want exactly the same things for themselves. Perhaps you should spend more time finding one of them than bashing those who don't want to be squeezed into that box...

EDIT: For all those folks (Laela, et al), I am not a feminist. In fact, I have been criticized for being anti-female many, many times. Perhaps you should read the question again - I think you will see that I was just acknowledging that I see through the ugliness and hatred now - and I am just checking to see if my assumption is correct. Haters can continue hating - no skin off my nose - just wanted to know if I might be on to something here....

EDIT: Steve...we've both been lurking a long time - and I knew that. We have a mutual admiration fest going LOL...

Answer 1

That is beautifully put.

I'm never going to make a man like that happy, or change my mind about my personal goals and desires based on a few spittle-flecked rants from some guy who thinks "feminism" can be boiled down to whether or not a woman wants to be a housewife.

There are much more traditionally-minded women out there that are eager to meet like-minded men. Why not go look for one of them to create their dream homes with, rather than sitting around abusing people online?

Answer 2

And Feminists are man haters too, because they think men compete with them for powers. So that way shoould all haters be ignorants including Feminist haters?

Answer 3

No. I would prefer a woman to work. Mairrage is a partnership and I do not follow the traditional roles that are provided. I don't want some spinless wimp for a wife who will do whatever I say and make my dinner. I don't mind making dinner - that is of course if she is willing to eat one of my two things I can cook.
When I was married I did the house work as much as she did and I worked full time. I cared for the child as much as she did.
I dislike feminism because it is not about equality. It is the mask of equality. In reality it is soley to promote women's issues and ignore men's issues. That's not equality. Just look at any feminist organizations web sites and read the issues. These organizations want to pretend that men's issues do not exist.
Perhaps my beef is more with feminist organizations that do not promote equality yet disillusioned women are fed from the time they are young that these same organizations are for equality. So the young women grow up thinking that the ideology associated with these groups is 'equality. I am sure most women who claim to be feminists are really equalists, they just don't know it.

Answer 4

So you read an answer by one anti-feminists and you think all/most anti-feminists are unhappy of women pushing to become career women? C'mon, you're smarter than that!

I don't ''hate'' feminism, rather I ''dislike'' mainstream feminism--gender feminism.

Anyway, as a non-feminist, I'd rather my girlfriend work as hard as she can to make as much money as possible while I do the same. Then, when we have enough money to not work for a couple years (around 4), we can get married, have a kid and raise her/him until her/his 4th birthday or so, which is the most important part of a child's life for her/his parents to be involved with. That what I want. In a way, yes, I want my future wife to take care of the kid(s) but I want to be there too, since I think more dads should spend time with their kid(s), especially at a young age.

EDIT: Oh wow you got a lot of stars. I need to make more friends so I can get more stars. Hey, next time, email me a question and I'll ask it so I can get a billion stars. ;P

Answer 5

I have come to a point where considering the ideas of those not committed to social equality is of no importance. The simple reason is the very people you're attempting to reach out to, especially in this setting, have little or no concern with the process of a real much less intelligent discussion. So, rather than beating my head against the wall of their collective disrespect for humanity, I am directing my attention elsewhere. Where those who are only wanting healthy exchange may participate. All of my energy from this time forth will be there.

Shingoshi Dao
2007.Nov.20 Tue, 23:27 --800 (PST)

Answer 6

Nobody should pay any attention to retarded comments about women only being good for housework. Its a waste of time discussing it because it just deflects attention away from the true problem: that ideological feminism has demonized men to the extent that we are portrayed as less than women in the media, don't have equality in some areas of law, are not trusted equally to look after children etc

I am for equality, which means that I would like - for example - for a man to have the right to be a SAHD and a tattooed woman to come around to my house in a white van and fix my toilet. People should be allowed to do whatever they are capable of doing. Of course ideological feminists were never really about equality, as they only promoted rights for women without doing the same for men. This is why so many men are deeply mistrustful of women who identify themselves as feminists.

Edit
The question seems to be 'Are men who dislike feminism simply men who think women belong in the kitchen'? Some men have answered along the lines of: 'No. We want equality for women and men, but dislike feminism as we often experience it as misandry'. The claim of being a real feminist rather than a radical feminist is totally irrelevant, unless the claim is that a real feminist is someone who is not naive enough to think that 'all men who dislike feminism simply want to put women in the kitchen'.

Answer 7

Not a hater of anyone, but insulting people tends to create enemies. It's not they way to win friends and influence people. Some feminists just don't get that.

Most people reject the kind of condescending, supercilious, bigoted thinking that some vocal feminists seem to ascribe to. An illustration of this is the comment made by Gum Drop Boy that everyone who is not a feminist must be a woman-hater that feels women should not have the same rights and privileges as men.

The irony is that a group that purports to promote equality takes the view that only they are enlightened and everyone else must be hateful, bigoted, and backwards. How ridiculous.

EDIT:

Super - just in case I was not clear, my comments were not aimed at you. Been lurking around here long enough to know your balanced and reasonable views.

Answer 8

I am not American, in the past I lived in third world countries, and it saddens me, to see all the hatred against feminism. There is a lot of work to do. The feminists I know are activists in human rights. I honestly don't know what is going in the USA as a woman, as I have never lived there. But from my own perspective, to say that feminists are hypocritical and close to Nazis, is a big offence. There is a LOT to do about women that have no voice around the world. While there is humans suffering an unjust life, there will be a need for groups that are concern and try to resolve those problems. GWS, is a sad place for that, reading here makes me feel that we as humans beings have no hope.

Thanks for your wonderful question

Edit to Whiner: There are many trends of feminism, what you are talking about is about "radicals", the ones that shout about that everything is wrong with men. BUT, those are few. Other feminists, believe in a better word for all, others are more political, others are more concerned about ecology, the list is vast. There is no way of putting all of them in one tiny box, exactly what happens in this forum...it is a fallacy

Answer 9

You make a lot of sense...I would that for many, this is the case, along with a fear of change, or an idealization of the way things "used to be."
But there are some that seem to have deeper, darker issues. But only a few.

Answer 10

I disagree. I think haters of feminism have a misconception of WHAT feminism really means.

To put it simply, anyone who supports gender equality is a feminist HOWEVER men and women often hesitate to call themselves feminists because of portrayals of more radical feminism. Feminism in the media is most typically of the most radical sort: rather than having a calm, intelligent woman (or man) speak about gender inequality and the need for change, they'd rather display a loud, overly passionate woman who is SO over-the-top that she sounds irrational.

That is a widely-seen view of what a feminist is: a loud, dominating, b*tch who just wants to complain about how oppressed she is rather than working to get to the top.

The TRUTH however, is that the average feminist just wants to know that she'll have equal wages and equal chance for advancement. She will accept a man moving up the ladder instead of her IF his credentials are truly better than her own. This woman however, gets overpowered by the more radical forms, and as a result, men and women both feel animosity towards self-proclaimed feminists.