I want my children to have everything that I wasn't able to have as a child. How can I make sure that I don't spoil them too much though?
2007-11-20 08:38:22 · 12 answers · asked by guardianangel 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Children don't need a lot of 'things', they need love, attention, and your time - especially when they are so young. Focus on doing things with them rather than on buying things for them.
Good luck!
2007-11-20 08:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by daa 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
When they get a little older (around 2 - 3), start doing little things to give back to your community. Start by picking out a toy to donate to the Toys For Tots Holiday drive. Then when they're older still you can make blankets for foster homes in your area. Even older, serve food at a shelter for the holidays or once a month.
It's great to give our kids everything we never had, but it's important to help them understand that not everyone is so lucky and to be kind and generous with people not as fortunate.
Also, love them lots. I believe that you can never spoil a child with too much love and attention and that love and attention are more important than all the toys in the world. Get down on your hands and knees and play with them with all those toys they're so blessed to have.
Another thing to do is (as they get older of course) give them little ways to "earn" some of the things you're giving them. Like, being kind to their sibling or picking up their toys or helping you with the above-mentioned charity works.
2007-11-20 16:48:10 · answer #2 · answered by lilitheden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the want list system. If there is something they want or wish for, put it on a list and if 30 days later they still want it, discuss the pros and cons of purchasing it. I know they are too young to do this now but you could use this method for now when they are little and you think they really need something because everyone else has it for their kids. Kids and adults change their minds all the time and it is interesting to see the things you really don't need or want a month later.
2007-11-20 16:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy them something every time you go to the store. I've seen countless small children wine for something and the parent buys it. Then they don't understand why when their child is 5 and older they expect to have something at every outting. Don't do extravagant holidays / birthdays. Keep it small and simple. Two to three gifts.
Also when you give them an allowance teach them savings, giving and spending. Savings should be more. Dave Ramsey has a great financial kit for kids.
2007-11-20 16:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by FL Sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, i am also 24 and i have a 22 month old and a 7 month old, and i think as parents we should want our children to be better off then we were, its natural.your children can have everything you didnt and not be spoiled. you just have to teach them to be grateful, and respect others as well as themselves. And to teach them that they have to work hard in life to be able to accomplish their goals. but for now, go ahead and spoil away, they are only young once. good luck happy thanksgiving
2007-11-20 17:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spoiling is all in how a child acts. If they open all their presents and say "THAT'S ALL", then they are acting spoiled.
This is how I prevent it....we go through all of their toys about once every 3 months. They choose which toys they would like to give to kids who don't have any toys. This helps a lot!
If the child acts spoiled and whines if a toy is taken away...then I take it away for a day. If they whine for it the next...then it is away for another day. If they ask nicely for it, then they get it.
I hope that helps!
2007-11-20 16:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mommafig 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Give them a little more than you never has as a kid. But not too much. Do not give in to your kids when they throw a tantrum. Most of all it is important to love your kids and not just provide them with material things. They will thank you later for it becuase it will make them a better person.
2007-11-20 16:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow your a young mommy im also 24 and just cant picture having two kids right now but anyway, theres nothing wrong with wanting to give your kids everything you didnt have, just instill in them good morals and they'll be fine, you still have babies so theres no such thing as spoiling them 2 much, but when they get older they should be rewarded for good behavior and achieving and school, and ethey should have to work hard for everything you provide them with that isnt a neccessity.
2007-11-20 16:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel the exact same way.
I am planning on them getting things on a reward based system. They can have fancy school clothes if they get good grades. They can have xyz toy if they keep their rooms clean, etc, etc.
The key to this is actually practicing it. Good luck to both of us!
Ummm..why did I get a thumbs down? What is wrong with expecting your kids to earn the "extras"???
2007-11-20 16:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by 0 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Politeness goes a long way! Make sure your kids know how to say please and thank you, excuse me, and ma'am and sir when speaking to adults. I don't really think that it's a matter of how much you give them, but rather how much you teach them to appreciate what they have. Good luck and God bless your family.
2007-11-20 16:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by karijay 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋