i just tried to talk to my husband again about me being an organ doner and he still wont budge i told him i was going to join tonight because ive had enough of not doing what is right for me and he said that if i do i can pack my bags tonight!!!! what do i do??? become a doner and loose my husband or keep my husband and dont do what i beleive is right for me?
2007-11-20 07:38:02 · 39 answers · asked by mummy to 3 miracles 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must honor your wedding vows. Be a doner upon your death, not while you are alive.
2007-11-20 07:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can donate your organs if you wish but I think you have more problems than that to worry about right now! I would be extremely worried about the dictatorial way my husband was behaving over an issue which clearly is a discussion piece. If he dislikes the idea of your mutilation after your death, you might want to point out that if anything other than dropping dead of old age occurs, you are likely to be cut open anyway. Perhaps there are parts of the body which he would prefer you keep and rot with? E.g. your eyes. Some people feels thats dreadful. If so, then compromise. On a more serious note, you need to mention to your husband that some issues up for discussion are not 'all or nothing'!!! But get to the route of the problem soon - this is one fight you may have to leave for later...what about other discussions though?
2007-11-20 10:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't understand what being an organ donor means. Maybe he thinks they will mutilate your corpse or something. Let me try to break it down for you.
A non organ donor dies. Their body goes to the morgue. Upon autopsy, the organs (heart, liver, kidneys, etc) are all removed and thrown away. The removal of these organs is part of the preservation process. If they are left inside, the body will deteriorate much faster. It will have a foul odor. I believe it will also swell.
An organ donor dies. Their body goes to the morgue. This time, the organs that are removed during the autopsy are not thrown away as garabage. Some of them might be used for various medical purposes. They might even save the life of someone who has been injured in an accident or who has a terminal illness and needs an organ transplant.
So whether or not you are an organ donor should not make any bit of a difference to your husband. Unless maybe he is a part of one of those religions who believe that the body is a sacred temple and its organs should not be shared with other people. I think the Jehovah's Witnesses are like this. They won't even accept blood if they need a transfusion, not even from a family member.
2007-11-20 07:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't need your husband permission to be a donner or for anything else really.
That is a personal choice and nor he or anybody else has a say about it.
You can join the list of organ doners and help lots of people when you die or be dinner for the magets.
The choice is very easy.
Maybe a brain transplant would help your husband.
Dont tell him and join the list
Well done girl.
2007-11-20 07:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by remedioslabella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I am an organ donor and my husband doesn't agree, but he respects my right to make choices. Is you husband normally controlling? Do you allow him to dictate your actions to you? Or is this something that he feels strongly about? Maybe he is afraid that if something does happen to you the medical staff attending you won't make as great an effort to save you if they know you are an organ donor. That is a lot of peoples fears. I really think you need to continue to discuss this issue with your husband and work on a compromise you can both live with. Find out why he is so against this, and explain to him why you feel you should do it... Talk, talk, talk..... don't leave. Good luck!
2007-11-20 07:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your question is not really about whether or not you become an organ donor. It sounds to me as though you have a different mindset to your husband and that he does not have the ability to articulate his argument. Inarticulate men can become impatient and violent so be very cautious. He has threatened to throw you out, this is quite an extreme solution to a moral argument! I would urge caution once again.
2007-11-20 07:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lozzie p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might help to understand the nature of his objection. Is it because of religious beliefs?
One of the arguments that can be used is that once you are gone, you are not going to need them. ( Yes, a little morbid ) Another idea is to say that it is something that could be done for your children.
If he is still insistent, talk it over with your husband and doctor in the same room. Sometimes a third party who is neutral can shed some light on misperceptions or 'stories from a friend.'
With kind regards.....Finn.
2007-11-20 07:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by Finn 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a ridiculous reason for your husband to tell you to pack your bags..... I don't understand this do you mean on your license in case you die and they can use your organs or to get on a list to donate something now while your alive? I am not really sure why he is so upset jeez it is your body your organs and bottom line your choice right RIGHT!
2007-11-20 16:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by LILBITOFKY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how strongly you feel about this. You just need to ask yourself, "Is it worth breaking up my marriage?" You should always follow your heart but if he feels that way about it, is there anything else you could do that he would approve of. Alot of life is compromising, choose your battles wisely. Good luck.
Also, I think that it is wonderful that you want to give in that way. I wish there were more people like you in the world.
God Bless and have a happy holiday!
2007-11-20 07:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by MommyB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth has he got a problem with you being an organ donor? It's not like he's got to take it/them out for you! You can keep your husband and lose your donors, in that order, just tell him straight!
2007-11-20 07:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do he will be asked after your death if he will agree to you being an organ donor. My brother wanted to donate and carried a card but his wife refused to allow it. So stop arguing he obviously cannot hack the thought of a) your death and b) you being cut into after your death.
This is an emotive subject which should not lead to arguments. As long as he knows your wishes you will have to rely on him doing the right thing.
2007-11-20 07:44:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋