Boyfriend on crack, what should I do?

Question

I found out my BF was smoking crack 6 wks ago. I decided 2 stick it out by helping him ONCE through treatment. i flew him out to the Florida to one of the best facilities in the US. B4 he came home I told him that it was going to take time being able to trust him again. On his 3rd day out I purchased him a cell and he lost it. I think he sold it. 5th day out he stole my Plazma/stand telling me before he left for treatment he went to the old neighborhood and owed the dealer $500. he put a gun to his head wanting his money so he had no other choice but to take my TV . He admitted that he tried it again and needed help again. For some reason he didnt want to go back to the same place. I think he was embarrased for people to see that he relapsed so soon so he wanted to do it his way going to a local facility ran by the government,which you know isnt good as all. He never showed up there last night. I love him so much and will hate for the streets to take him what should I do?

I just got a message from my boyfriend 30 min. ago tellimg he dont know how stupid he could possibly be for not showing up at the clinic last night for help. Also on his message he said he almost got killed this morning for doing something stupid gain. Im guessing he owe for more drugs. He also said it looks like he will probally be dead by the end of this week. Should I help him ONE more time or thuis is just another one of his lies and just let it go?

Answer 1

You, dear, cannot do anything for him, and you certainly cannot fix his problem. Stop feeling sorry for him; you're turning into a person that will enable him to continue this horrible and costly habit. He has to develop the courage to deal with that himself. You cannot love him out of this.

Don't provide for him in any way unless it's giving him a ride to the rehab center. Cut all ties with him otherwise. His chosen lifestyle has disaster written all over it, and he will suck you into his downward spiral. You will loose everything--not just possessions, but your friends and family as well as your dignity and self respect.

Answer 2

The problem with addiction is that it is really a life-long issue. Even if someone stops taking their drug of choice for a while they will always have to deal with the urge to return. There are different views but ultimately I think the person has to want to stop for himself. Each addict has a certain point at which he decides enough is enough and wants to change -or- they never reach that point and die in the process.

As difficult as it may be you have to set a boundary and stick to it. Maybe it has already occurred maybe not. Pick something like 'enter treament now, stop stealing from me and no more crack that's it' or whatever works for you and stick with it. Of course there will be excuses and reasons this won't work. That is how addiction works. It may seem harsh but this is really your only option. If possible gather his friends/family to do the same. It may take a little tough love here.

Ultimately you have to set a boundary and let him make the choice. Be prepared that he may not make the choice you are hoping for. Good luck and know that a lot of people have been in the same spot.

Answer 3

You are in a painful spot. The guy you love isn't there anymore. You said you would help once and you did. Back off now and stay out of his way. This is going to be very difficult but it is necessary. Whether he is able to do anything about his addiction or not is entirely up to him. That's what is so hard. Your refusal to have anything to do with him unless he beats his addiction may be the only thing to get him on the winning side. Good Luck my dear, and remember you're never alone.

Answer 4

What area cracks? Is it the top? If he's circumcised the top may well be thoroughly dry and can crack by way of loss of moisture. practice some thing to make it moist; basically as you will possibly to your hands. As for procuring appeared at, it relies upon how massive this 'crack' is. If that's minor, attempt to function moisture/lubricant to it, whilst if that's incredibly massive/bothersome/does not bypass away, he could get it appeared at, because of the fact for the time of intercourse if he bleeds from this crack (very achieveable if that's dry) he can unfold stuff into you, which isn't sturdy.

Answer 5

Everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but this is too far.
Make him realise, that, you love him, and want to help him, but you cannot do that until he admits he has a problem, and seeks help himself..
Set an ultimatum, the drugs, or you. But, if you give him this choice, you HAVE sto stick to it, don't say it to scare him, say it and MEAN it.
Tell him, that if he really wants to help himself, you will help him, but if he ain't gonna, you shouldn't have to.
It's hard, you love him, but don't let the drugs come before you, you're worth so much more than crack !

<3<3

Answer 6

Get rid of him. He wasn't embarassed, he just does not want to change, most likely there was never a gun involved in the first theft either. He is just playing on your sympathy for him so you will act as an enabler for his drug habit. Refuse to enable him and get him out of your life, until he can prove he has changed, which probably won't happen.

Answer 7

The streets HAVE him. You should do what you know is healthy for yourself. Get out of this relationship, mourn the lost love, and move forward with your life.

Answer 8

You can not fix an addict they have to want to change-get out of the relationship before everything you own is gone!There is nothing you can do but take care of yourself.

Answer 9

every time he says something and it comes out as a lies but he says he is going to be dead then confront him of what he is doing to you and help him....because he really needs you but if you find out he is lieing to you then leave him, because he is always going to lie to you and if he really loves you then he would do what you ask from him

Answer 10

RUN the other way, and tell him if he ever gets straight, for 1 year to give you a call. If your'e still around!!