We disagree about when she comes over, she gives her the choice and then tells us{her dad and I} that she doesn't choose to come. Then she wrote an email the other day about needing more notice when we can get her{we share joint custody}.We have her for Thanksgiving, so today she called and left a message that a friend wanted to have her come over today. Doesn't this sitauation sound crazy? I have tried to work with her, she is not easy to deal with any advice would greatly be appreciated.
2007-11-20 06:50:40 · 7 answers · asked by rettasmile 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think it should be the child decision to an extent. I do not feel that it is okay for the mom to call and tell you what the daughter's plans are going to be. You need to give notice but, what about her? She is being inconsiderate and selfish. The child needs to spend time with her father and you in additon to her mom. How would she feel if you called up and said that the child did not want to come home so she was staying? She probably wouldn't like that at all! I would just try to explain to her that it really bothers you when she allows the child to make other plans when this is her scheduled time at your house. What does your husband think? It should be him discussing this problem with her. I understand the position you are in...it really sucks. It is hard to be a step parent and actually try to be a parent and not be given any respect it rediculous. The situation is really crazy but, the only thing you can do is talk to her and let her know how you guys feel. Good luck, hope things get better!
2007-11-20 07:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by mama3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father of this child needs to grow balls and deal with his ex---THEY share joint custody-not you.
You need to be on his side(as long as his side is for the best of his child)--- and shut up.
A child of 7 should not be given such a choice. It is too much pressure. Of course, she wants to stay with her mommy instead of hurting her mommy's feelings. She would agree with YOU, too, if you were standing there.
Give her a choice like do you want to wear your jeans or your gym clothes to Daddy's and Mary's house?
The decision needs to be made between the mom and dad, and hold everyone to it. If momma has agreed ahead to bring the child-bring her-no bs. HAVE DAD! get a judge involved if he has to. This is NOT a good idea.
You need to get out and stay out. Love her and be her friend when she is THERE. Play with her. Do not buy her a bunch of junk. Spend time with her alone and NEVER EVER TALK UGLY ABOUT HER MOTHER.(It is half her.)
Never allow your husband to trash momma within ear-shot of this precious child-it can damage her for life.
2007-11-20 07:11:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REEALLY, well don't expect it to get any easier w/time! Sounds like she's still pretty bitter&has a control issuse. You may need to set down and talk to her, learning to share a child is tough fo a parent to do, and to let a STEPMOM/DAD have any dission making is not acceptable to them!! Just try to be patient, and let your husband handle it, and please don't be like MOM and use the child!! I am glad to hear that you are willing to go the extra mile to have her over!!
2007-11-20 07:02:16 · answer #3 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a choice, you live with the way mom manages things, or you get the courts seriously involved, she will continue this till her daughter is old enough to call on her own and say i dont want to come. in my opinion moms like this like getting the check for free and not having to give up anything in return(like the daughter) we lost to our mom and now the girl wants nothing to do with dad cuzz mom said if dad, cared he let you do what you are happy doing it will back fire when the daughter is old enough to understand, what having 2 familys is suppose to be like . thanks...
2007-11-20 07:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by LLeees 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going through the same thing but i have my son he lives with me and and it is really hard for us and his dad
we r both with partners and i cant really give my son a choice becauser he is only 3 so we went to court and he goes to his dads every week end and every other chrismass and it is very hard we cant never agree on anything so we fight alot
so what we do is he gets r son the day befor every h-day and i get him the day of the h-day
2007-11-20 07:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shouldn't the husband deal with it mostly? I'd tell him to talk to her, you're most likely not her favorite person in the world.
2007-11-20 06:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
explain to her that you guys are trying to be as flexible with your schedule as possible, but she needs to be more understanding.Try to work out a schedule with her.........like you guys will have her for one week and she can have her the next week............or you guys will have her for Christmas, but she can have her for New Years.
Hope this helped!
2007-11-20 07:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by natalie renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋