So my husband has decided that we are not going to have any more sex til after our baby comes. This week is my 30th week and he says now that i'm soooo big and so far along he no longer feels comfortable making love to me. He says the last 2 or 3 times after making love he stays awake wondering and worrying what harm he could be doing to me and our unborn son. Is he crazy or is it just me?! I want to have sex and I miss it very much! Has anyone else's husband/boyfriend got this crazy idea in his head? I'm glad he's concerned and all but i'm feeling great,the doctor says the baby is doing great and i'm not high risk so whats the big deal!?
2007-11-20 06:42:53 · 27 answers · asked by Just Call Me Jenn 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
But he's totally fine with me giving him oral and him giving me manual.
2007-11-20 06:43:36 · update #1
That's exactly what happened to me! My husband stopped wanting to have sex at the 30 week mark because he said he felt awkward because I was so big now. It seems kind of silly to us because we know our bodies so well and know that sex will not harm our babies but it seems as if men are paranoid when it comes to sex and pregnancy. I'm fine with it though, mostly because I have no sex drive at all! So he watches his porn and i'm fine with that, after this baby comes and after the 6 week waiting period I am looking forward to having a healthy sex life. Looking at the big picture, I don't really mind not having sex for a couple months compared to the rest of our lives together. Good luck!
2007-11-20 06:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
LOL at the woman who thinks her sex life will be normal after the 6 week mark.... that is cute though
Anyway, my husband was the same way with number 1 (for him) except it started almost immediately after I started showing. This time around he is better about it, but if I have a cramp or ANYTHING after we have sex he will be freaked out for a couple of weeks. There could be one other thing although I doubt it after 30 weeks since he has pretty much seen you get bigger etc. but it could be that he is just not as attracted right now which of course will change after the baby is born. I would do what others have said and take him to an appt. Don't let him know what you are going to ask, just do it while he is standing there. Also, once the doctor reassures him cut him off from oral until he wants to do it again, that ought to work!!!
2007-11-20 07:01:51 · answer #2 · answered by JenMommyMom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband hasn't had a problem with it, but I have. Last time we were both fine with sex right up until the end. This time I just haven't been able to be comfortable with it, not lately at least (I'm 36 weeks), because I'm carrying so low. I know it's probably silly but I just feel like the baby is right there every time we try to have sex. It freaks me out and I can't enjoy it! The doctor says it's fine, but it is just a mental thing with me now and I'm not sure I'll be able to get over it. We may not have actual sex until after this baby is born, I don't know. At least my husband has been very understanding about my feelings, even though I know he's frustrated. I think it's just about what you are both comfortable with and you both need to respect each other's fears and worries, however unreasonable. Just keep on enjoying each other's bodies in other ways if he can't get past it.
2007-11-20 07:03:57 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha i am going though the same thing i am 32 weeks and we stopped doing stuff at 3 months and then after that we did it once and i could tell the whole time he was thinking about something so i knew he felt ackward. sometimes i get so irritated and i ask him but he says he just feels weird that the baby is too big and that this and that so im just like what ever sometimes. ha the poor guy though thinks that we will be back to doing stuff as soon as the baby is born too bad they tell you to wait 6 weeks after you have a baby to do anything and sometimes even loonger depending on the healing process. the baby is big enough now that you can hear her when she has the hiccups (if you concentrate and press your ear against my belly) so i know now that there is deff no chance we will do anything until she is born. oh well ill get even LOL. oh yeah i take him to all my visits and ive asked the doc about this and she says the baby is fine and there is no threat but that didnt help
2007-11-20 06:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by lizgas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not in harm of hurting the baby at all, especially at that point in your pregnancy. If there could be any potential problems by having sex, then your doctor would let you know. If it wasn't okay to have sex during pregnancy, then they wouldn't tell you to do it to help induce labor when you get to 40 weeks. I had sex the whole time and have a beautiful healthy baby boy!
2007-11-20 06:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have him accompany you to your next obgyn visit and have the doctor assure him that he cannot harm the baby...
Also, let him know that it will probably be a while BEFORE you want to have sex it's at least 6 weeks after delivery so he better be happy to have sex now or wait till WAY later !!! Good luck
2007-11-20 06:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its common for men to feel that way even if you talk to him and have him read all kinds of books, magazines and research studies he still will not feel comfortable. My guy was the same way. Give it time. he will eventually want it so bad that he cannot wait any longer. Tell him to get all he want now b/c after the baby it will be 6-8 weeks that the doc will tell you not to have sex.
2007-11-20 06:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Tasha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 35+2 weeks and I feel weird about it - I know there is no risk, but for me, sex while there is a baby wriggling inside me just feels too odd. I've spoke to my husband, he isn't too happy, but he understands.
I think you should be understanding. Just make sure you both make time to spend time as a couple, be affectionate, romantic meals etc ... don't lose the intimacy, that way your relationship won't be strained.
2007-11-20 06:56:55 · answer #8 · answered by l0bster_quadrille 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 36 weeks along , my doctor jokingly said that he scratched my baby's head during the exam. I guess that freaked my husband out, he refused to sleep with me until Ryan was born. Men are weird.
2007-11-20 06:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a big deal about it if there isn't anything wrong with the pregnancy. Actually, my doctor told me to have sex to try and get labor started near the end of my last pregnancy. He can't hurt the baby at all.
2007-11-20 06:47:42 · answer #10 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋