i'm a christian, i'm married, my wife and I are both saved. I still feel like leaving her for the way she treats me, she calls me name, she tries to be little me, but yet she loves God, trying but it's so hard!
2007-11-20 06:27:01 · 13 answers · asked by jokay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In the Bible, the Apostle Paul advises that people, such as your wife, must "put on... kindness" (Colossians 3:12) as a part of her Christian life. This means "forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye." (Colossians 3:13) Paul wrote, "Be ye kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32) He also wrote, "Love suffereth long and is kind." (1 Corinthians 13:4)
If she is a Christian, show her these verses, and ask her to put them into practice in her life.
2007-11-20 06:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has some inner issues from her past and she is lashing them out on you. It's not Christ-like to attack your other half and put you down like that. Being saved doesn't bail her out of her responsibility as a loving wife and servant to Christ. She needs to deal with her anger and pain in prayer and counseling. Support her by praying for her. But confront her and stop her in her tracks when she attacks you. When she is on a good day, get her and talk to her. Let her know how you are feeling and that she needs to stop hurting you because you are not her enemy. God said in 1 John 3 that if you love God and hate your brother, then you are a liar and a murderer. On earth, you guys are husband and wife, in the kingdom, you are brother and sister in Christ via Spirit. So she is technically murdering you by her words and attitude, which is emotional and verbal abuse. Why does she feel it's okay to do this to you? Try to pray for her and ask God to give her a conscious that she is hurting the one who loves her. Maybe she's in pain. Find out what's going on inside her and try a different approach. But don't allow her to lash out on you like that. Walk away and get some air because you can't fan a flame when the oxygen is cut off, the fire dies. Pray okay?
2007-11-20 06:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by GI Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray for your wife. Read a book by Stormie Omartian called "The Power of a Praying Husband".
If you are both saved, ask for a meeting with your Pastor or Church Leader. Her character is what Solomon calls the "contentious woman". The character of that woman is described in the book of Proverbs-as is the wife of noble character-Read Proverbs 31.
I suggest that since you are the Man, you take over the headship of your house. Maybe meet with your Pastor first, and describe the situation to him and ask for his recommendations on how to proceed.
And, during one of the quiet or peaceful moments that you might have together, read Proverbs 31 out loud to her. After you finish reading, tell her that you want to be the Husband who feels so proud of his wife that you too want to praise her, you want to trust that she will do you good all the days of her life, but that the way she treats you hurts you, makes you feel disrepected, you feel that she is not doing good to you. Let it sink in, don't blame or point the finger, just read her the passage, and then tell her honestly that her demeanor is hurting you and her and your marriage.
Offer to do a Bible Study with her, one that focuses on the expectations of Husbands and Wives. It will change both of you. No one should be abused, but no one should just walk out of a marriage either. If you get help, make sure that the advice is scripturally based, and your marriage will change for the better-it is guaranteed. Don't let fear keep you from reaching out to your Pastor, he's heard this story before......not from you, but there are more men out there married to contentious women than you imagine!
2007-11-20 06:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay - I'm not Christian but I believe in God. The thing is with what ur saying sounds like a trap. You MUST practice what you preach. Action speak louder then words hun, and if she is not acting like a child of God and atleast repenting (on a subconscious level) then my dear, that is only talk. Life is deeper then that.
On a side note, if she "loves" God then she should have true Faith in him. We are all NOT perfect - we are ALL going through soul training to strengthen our souls right? So, deepen your Faith and change yourself first. Understanding the person equals loving them.
2007-11-20 06:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry to hear this. Maybe ya'll could try marriage counseling, or since ya'll are christians you could talk to your preacher. I was in a abusive relationship for 17 years and I had to walk away from it. That might be your final answer.
2007-11-20 06:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by April H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is emotional abuse. Do you think God would want you to be treated that way of course not. Get marriage councelling or get out. You deserve to be happy.
2007-11-20 06:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to hear that. you 2 need to have a serious talk. i've been there and it's not nice. it took my husband and i barely hitting rock bottom for us to give it to God and get our acts together, so my advice to you is pray on it daily- everytime she does it. make her realize what she's doing. or just pray that God will correct her before it's too late. good luck.
2007-11-20 07:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by hiswife04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen IF YOU AND UNHAPPY LIKE YOU SAY GET A DIVORCE AND MOVE ON... JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE CHRISTIAN AND HAVE BOTH BEEN SAVED DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU CAN'T MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. although YOUR VOWS SAY "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH ONE PERSON CAN TAKE. THEY DO NOT SAY BE MISERABLE AND TOLERATE EVERYTHING YOUR WIFE DOES TO YOU AND KEEP ON SMILING!!! COME ON NOW!!! LET'S GROW UP !! YOUR WIFE HAS ISSUES AND SHE NEEDS TO SEEK HELP. AND YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE THAT WILL APPRECIATE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE !!!
2007-11-20 06:44:21 · answer #8 · answered by jpoveda2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You both need to your pastor. Do not assume that because she says she is saved that she is emotionally stable. She might not understand what she is doing to you. You have to stand up for yourself.
2007-11-20 06:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is verbal abuse. don't accept any kind of abuse. she loves god but does she loves u? and a person who really loves god can treat u like this? i don't think she is as good as she pretends to be
2007-11-20 06:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by Altheea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋