Step mother has been bothering me. She's always been obsessed with being their mom since long before she broke up my marriage and finally married my ex. I am the custodial parent, but she constantly berates me in front of my children, on the web and with relatives that buy her act. She ball busts my ex into harrassing me with the legal system and she's trying to get him to go after custody. They are both unfit parents and I want this emotional torture to stop. The father never gave a care for his kids until she nagged him into it and he just wants to get them for her to have. He complains about paying cs, he pesters me for documentation of everything so that he can try to use against me. He won't talk about parenting with me, when they are at his house she's the boss. Any advise?
2007-11-20 06:06:45 · 12 answers · asked by Elizabeth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is really a touchy situation. i myself had to deal with something like it. First off, keep a voice recorder handy, or camera phone that will take movies and use it when something happens such as her berating you in front of the kids. Also, keep documentation of all the times she contacts you with notes about what was discussed. Keep all your phone records showing the date and time which she or your ex has called, save any messages from either of them that need to be saved. Messages conatining name calling, threats etc. In the mean time resist the urge to just go after the woman like she has you. After about two months take this " log" and contact the police and ask them whatyou can do. In some states it does not take much to get a restraining order, or protection order in some states it takes a little more.
The biggest thing for them is they know they are wearing you down and trying to get you to snap, once you snap its over no matter what, who started it does not matter. In the mean time I would talk to your ex just the two of you and ask him that your childrens exposure to her be lessened, until she can act appropriately. make sure you do not threaten not to send the kids for his visitation, or make any sort of threat. If the children are old enough, they very well be made to come to court and testify. Most judges really do not want that sort of thing going on, yet, sometimes its also the only way to get the correct story. Good Luck!
2007-11-20 06:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If they are both unfit parents why on earth would you allow your kids to be in the home? Gather proof of all you say, get a lawyer and seek supervised visitation for the dad.No matter what people say about you, your kids will know you best through your own behavior. If you are a good mother and set a good example you kids will grow up knowing you cared. Don't belittle the ex or his wife to the kids. Let your legal battles remain between you and the ex. The kids need not know every detail. Stop being a victim and take back some control in your life.
2007-11-20 06:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by pnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your a good mom you have nothing to worry about in regards to custody. Unfortunately i don't think there is anything you can do unless you have proof that they are unfit parents and i mean police reports, recordings, etc. . . .then you can take him to court to get complete custody and allow dad ONLY to have visitations. I was in the same boat a few years back and my ex finally realized that the girl he was with was causing too much drama and it was affecting our kids, he got rid of her and is now with a wonderful woman that truly loves him and my kids and we get along great.
I know what you're going through and i know it's hard for you but you gotta be the smart one here and play your cards right.
Good Luck!
2007-11-20 06:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet.Milf3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her ***.... No don't do this I know is sounds right but know I think what you should do is treat your kids good be there everything for them right now and support them through everything talk them to school counseling and to activities have people see that you are involved with your kids and when the court date comes to when your husband is pasturing you tell the court that your kids will not be good with them because one he has never wanted the kids until she came in the picture and tow your kids are happy with you get affidavits saying that you are the best mother that you provide for your kids and that your husband will not be good for your kids to be with ask for full custody and more money. You kids do not need to be an in environment where they are being hurt physiologically.
2007-11-20 06:35:55 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her up and ask her what her problem is.
Tell her that you appreciate that she is attempting to take care of the kids but she is going about it the wrong way. If she wants this to work out then it will have to be a joint effort and she has to quit working against you and start working with you.
Kill her with kindness. As long as you mind your P's and Q's you'll be fine.
2007-11-20 06:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pity parties are not my thing.
My advice is to stop playing the victim and set some ground rules with your ex and his spouse. You are the custodial parent, if you don't like the way things are going, it is your duty to speak up. It's time to grow some balls.
2007-11-20 06:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not doing anything wrong as a parent then I would not worry about it. No drugs, No drinking and no sort of abuse in the home whatsoever then you will still have custody of your children.
2007-11-20 06:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because you spot she is talked approximately as your doorstep mom simply by fact she stepped into the image in case you like to place it that way... besides the incontrovertible fact that she would be no longer something yet your dads x spouse. it relatively is in all probability so puzzling for you yet ... you will get by using it .. and for her son if he isn't blood on the subject rely of then you definitely he's no longer your doorstep brother the two....
2016-09-29 21:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what you need to do is to take it court and give him less days of visits write down everything he says and does because that will help you against him or you need to tell her where to get f**ked and your not the mother of my children so keep your words to yourself.
2007-11-20 06:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by tracy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't care about what she said. Do what you have to do. you are respondible for your kid not the mother?
Be nice to your kids and they will know.
2007-11-20 10:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋