My husband touches me all the time. Everything leads to sex! He will just touch my breast walking past me. Last night I was laying on the coutch and he went right for my crotch! It drives me crazy! I cant stand it! I've told him and it causes a fight. He says that he "finds his wife attractive". I say thats fine, but you cant just grab me all the time and a hug doesnt always mean sex! Have you had this problem?
2007-11-20 05:47:08 · 17 answers · asked by gracie mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in the same boat. I have given up saying things to him about it. After 8yrs. I have learned to deal with it. Don't get me wrong there are times it pisses me off.
2007-11-20 05:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by diablo 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I find this to be a very interesting question. From what I read, it appears that you have a problem opposite from lots of other women. I tend to hear that most husband's and/or significant others don't make their women feel attractive. If your husband finds you attractive, seriously you should not discourage him. Hopefully, your issue isn't that he finds you attractive and wants to have sex with you. From your question, it sounds more like its how he approaches sex with you. My suggestion would again be not to discourage him from finding you attractive, because if you turn him away there are plenty of other women that would willingly appreciate his attention at the drop of a hat. Instead, work with him and show him how to approach you sexually in a way that stimulates you. In doing this, you must be creative in how you teach/show him how to approach you. You're the woman, and have more control than you realize. In doing so, be patient and willing to compromise. It may take a while to get him to respond in a better approach, but you must also take into consideration that from time to time he'll still make his manly advances.
2016-04-05 00:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is harrassing you. You are not some toy for him to come by and *honk honk* on your boob, and constantly molest you. Just because he finds you attractive doesn't mean he needs to touch you and hop all over you like a horny 16 year old, you are not his personal playboy bunny who waits for him at home all day just so you can have sex. I think he is confusing sex (lust) for love. Has your relationship always been this way or has it just started occurring now that you are married. Maybe you should keep a tally of how many times he touches you in one day and show him at the end of the day proving how annoying it really is to you. There is a fine line between being attracted and harrassing. He really needs to learn the difference and soon or else you are going to get fed up with that crap, which I am sure you already are and you feel violated.....then you'll just end it. I would really suggest going to a sex therapist (the two of you) to get some counseling.
2007-11-20 06:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I touch my wife alot not all the time in the fashion that your husband does....My reasoning is that my wife and I are going through a sex drought once in 10 months....plus we are having other tough issues.....she gets pissed sometimes other times she laughs and tells me to stop....I do listen and stop but its tough i have a high sex drive and she is not feeling sexy so I am ready to POP!!!
2007-11-20 06:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not like it when he turns this attention elsewhere.
The more you resist the more he will try, right up to the point where it is just not worth the grief and the effort.
At that point you will find yourself asking " why doesn't my husband ever initiate? Is he cheating?" The answer will be probably.
2007-11-20 06:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be worried unless it is the ONLY way he touches you. If he is always touching you sexually but never intimately I would be worried. Butt grabs and breast grabs are great but so are hugs, kisses, and hand holding. Either way, you've told him it bugs you...it would bug me too if that's all the physical contact I got.
2007-11-20 06:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! In fact I find myself waiting until he falls asleep sometimes before I go to bed because I don't want to have sex every single night. I can't just cuddle up to him because then I feel him getting hard and I know where it is going to lead. I love sex with him...but isn't hugging and cuddling fun too? Not to him. Then he says the same thing your husband says..."shoot me for finding you attractive!!". UGGG
2007-11-20 05:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You both need to learn how to effectively communicate and meet each other's needs.
You need a better understanding of the drive of a man, and he needs to learn how to show the love and care you need without being selfish.
Re: the hug, understand that the way a man receives love is usually through physical means. When you hug, he feels close, and that incites the need in him.
While for you, a hug and closeness would most likely make you feel loved and simply cared for; protected and safe.
The both of you need to immediately get some books that relate to how you two are made. Do not get books or listen to people who "down" each gender. There is nothing "abnormal" about either of you.
Also know, that his drive is the same drive to excell in life, in making money, succeeding in fixing things, etc. And you have the awesome privilege to build his esteem and security by means of physical intimacy.
Whereas your drive comes by being safe and secure, not worrying about not being loved, and he needs to learn how to do that without always leading into meeting his needs again.
Buy Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus right away.
Make it work.
2007-11-20 05:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I've had this problem. Was he doing it before you got married? It's great that he thinks his wife is attractive, but it does not make you his personal property to be groped and fondled whenever he feels like it. If he cares about you and your feelings he will take it into consideration that you don't like to be grabbed all the time and it does not mean you love him any less. (he should respct you and your feelings)
2007-11-20 05:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You will regret griping about if you don't want the attention he just might find someone else that does.
Appreciate what you have. But talk about your problem before you make a mistake
2007-11-20 06:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jackal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He loves your body and feels comfortable enough with you to openly express his sexuality with you, even at the risk of rejection. I highly recommend you take it as a compliment and learn to enjoy it. If you keep pushing him away, you might find that he will go somewhere else to find the affection he seeks. You have the freedom, the privelege, and the ability to share this intimacy with him. If you send him somewhere else to get it, you will have yourself to blame.
2007-11-20 05:58:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋