My best friend and I were debating last night about relationships. He thinks he would be perfectly happy with someone he never had to fight with. I on the other hand think it's a good thing to occasionally fight or even just bicker. I think it strengthens the relationship. If you can't learn to move past the little things, when something big happens, how do you know how to deal with it together? Also, I think fighting helps you learn about your significant other, yourself and the dynamics of your relationship. Am I right?
2007-11-20 04:32:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess I should rephrase and say "argueing" instead of fighting.
2007-11-20 05:18:53 · update #1
I guess I should rephrase and say "argueing" instead of fighting.
2007-11-20 05:18:57 · update #2
my husband and i used to argue a lot, and we've both agreed that we would hate it if we had a partner that didn't argue back (who was basically a push over). for us, it's another way to communicate. we're both stubborn and opinionated, so we want to be right, but we do know when to stop and just agree to disagree. we aren't mean or spiteful, we just disagree sometimes and want the other to see where we're coming from. we have had some pretty rowdy fights, i admit, but we never go to bed angry and we always say "i'm sorry". as long as there is no abuse - verbal, physical or emotional - i say fighting and arguing are a part of most/all relationships.
2007-11-20 06:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by hh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that fighting in and of itself is healthy or unhealthy. I was married for 23 years and we never had a single fight about anything. We divorced last year amicably and like and respect each other very much.
The guy I am dating and soon-to-be-engaged-to and I have been together about 3 years and have had two fights and I can honestly say that I love this man more deeply and more passionately than my first husband.
The keys to fighting are:
1. Be FAIR. No name-calling, no screaming, no pouting, no childish tantrums. If it's an adult issue it's fair game, but no stupidity. Never attack.
2. Take a time out afterward (or in the middle of if you need it) to THINK about it and be objective.
3. LISTEN to the other side and make SURE you are taking their thoughts/feelings into consideration.
4. Come to a compromise and/or admit when you are wrong.
5. Have great make up sex. It's the BEST. : )
2007-11-20 12:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right, but part of healthy fighting is being able to resolve issues together. It's more that than the arguing and fighting that's beneficial. Lots of couples fight without resolving anything.
2007-11-20 12:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone bickers unless they are just a doormat. But there are constructive ways to disagree and both people have to understand how it is done and follow the "rules". You can't engage in name-calling, making threats, using insults, or saying things like "you always...", etc. People resort to that when they reach the limit of their intelligence and common sense and still haven't gotten their own way.... constructive discussion is a skill that you can learn and I wouldn't call it fighting exactly.
2007-11-20 12:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, fighting and arguing are part of communicating as well. It's not that fighting is good, but any type of communication is good. However, most guys don't like to fight because...they don't really like communcation that much. But remember when you fight, state your points and not get emotional and say things you don't mean.
2007-11-20 14:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that disagreeing can be healthy and beneficial because it forces us to compromise and work together.
Not so much fighting- or maybe it is just the sense that I get from the term. It makes me think of screaming and yelling, etc.
2007-11-20 12:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't really be in a healthy relationship with a clone. there are going to be differences. fighting is part of the spice of life. his experience with fighting is probably very negative and so he believes that it is a downfall of marriage. it can be. but fighting is going to happen. you will never always agree with your partner and you shouldn't. what a boring world to watch two people always amicable and always agreeing with each other haha.
2007-11-20 12:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, I don't know about fighting but difference of opinion is a good thing keeps communication open and you can talk about anything. communication always helps a relationship.
2007-11-20 12:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting can be healthy and beneficial but it can also be damaging as it generate defences.
Fighting can generate COMMUNICATION, and communication is healthy and beneficial - though it shouldnt be necessary to fight to have good communication!!
2007-11-20 12:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Paul M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't use the word fighting, i think arguing occasionally is fine though.
2007-11-20 12:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by paula t. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋